Tangled Skein
by Kim Smuga
Summary: A Marmalade Boy Prequel featuring Rumi, Chiyako, Jin, and Youji. Don't remember who they are? Read and find out.
1. First Impressions of Chiyako

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

#  Prologue 

"Attention all passengers, this will be the final announcement of the night. The ship is now out of Japanese waters, and it will two more days until we reach Hawaii. Dinner services will be closing now, but drinks and light snacks will be served in the Holbright room until 3 am. Dancing in the main ballroom will commence shortly. Also, the pool will be opened until midnight. We want your first night aboard the Pacific Soyakaze to be a memorable one, please do not hesitate to ask our crew for anything. Once again, thank you for choosing Holiday Transport and, in particular, the Soyakaze, for your vacation cruise." 

The announcement was spoken by a gentle but authoritative male voice. It was repeated in Japanese, this time by a higher pitched, female voice, which took considerably longer due to numerous Sumimasens and like apologies. This was followed by the Cantonese and finally the Korean versions. At the end, there was the eight bar refrain from the TV adds and then a click as the PA system was turned off.

Norris Greenwood, Head of Guest Relations, smiled, appreciating the blessed silence. It did not last long. The door to his office swung open violently, and a petite, but forceful woman strode through. She turned to face him, a scowl across her face, and then fell backwards.

"Do not, I repeat, do not ask me how the dinner went." Sally Mckinion spoke the words in a dramatic voice as she sank deeply into the couch. She rolled over, smashing her face into the velvet cushions. 

Norris, her boss and most elevated of human resources for miles around now that the ship had exited the port, counted silently.

One, two, three, four. . . Oh my, he thought, if I make it to ten then I'll fear food poisoning. Luckily he only had to wait till seven.

"Well, it's better that you hear it from me. You are interested, are you not?"

Norris made a silent shrugging gesture. It didn't work to give her too much encouragement. 

"As you know, the Kumodochis canceled, the Fumeshitas are on their honeymoon so it's not surprising they ordered in, the Domeus were obviously seasick and the Togowaris were either quietly drunk or ogling the waitresses. So you can imagine the pleasantness of the evening. It was like I was talking to myself the _entire_time. I don't know. I just don't. The cruisegoers always complain that they never get to meet anyone, so we throw these shindigs and what happens?"

There was a pause and Norris was almost tempted to reply. He was saved by Sally's own answer.

"You bloody sit around, pretend you're the cheerful fairy, have to listen to yourself being the cheerful fairy, and maybe, if you're ever so lucky, one of them will ask you to pass the butter. Is my Japanese that bad? Oh Norris, what am I doing wrong?" this last ended in a wail and Norris commenced the comforting routine.

"Come now, Sally, your Japanese is quite good. I'm sure it was just the customers. Were they all bad? Weren't there some other couples?"

"Oh yes, the Koishikawas and the Matsuuras. Lovely couples, didn't do anything but stare at each other the entire time and try not to look embarrassed. Odd really, I thought those four would hit it off. I even brought up the fact that they both had children the same age. But no good, it only settled the ice more firmly. I suppose they're from different social classes or something. They'd probably never associate in a hundred years."

# Chapter 1: First Impressions of Chiyako

It was a cold, blustery day, more akin to winter than spring. Returning to boarding house, Chiyako was glad to slip out of her fashionable but now wet sandals and into her extra fuzzy slippers. She had been walking about campus, familiarizing herself with the locations of her classes. More importantly, she had timed the distance and now knew that it took precisely 17 minutes to walk from her room to her first class. Assuming half an hour to wash and get dressed, that would mean she'd have to wake up before 8:45. Way too early, she thought. Why were advertising majors required to take an accounting class anyway? She smiled ruefully. Maybe she could find someone to take notes so she need not attend the lectures.

Opening her door, she found a unfamiliar pile of luggage on one side of the room. Well, it's about time her roommate moved in. _I've been here almost a week and she waits until the day before classes begin._

Chiyako Namuki bent over to examined the unpacked possessions. She stared carefully at their color, make, design, sizes, and scruff marks before accepting that there wasn't much to learn about a person from their luggage, at least from the outside. The nametag read "Yamashita Rumi," but Chiyako already knew that from the landlady. Neat, clean Kanji, maybe this Rumi would be a practical sort of girl, humorless and hardworking. An individual that studied all the time and went to bed early. Maybe Chiyako could learn a bit of patience; she'd meet this Rumi soon enough.

Still, Chiyako couldn't help but wonder. This was the person she'd be spending the next six months with, at least. What would they be to each other? Nearest and dearest of friends? That would be novel, she hadn't had a best friend since grade school. _Where was this Rumi?_ She should be here so they could make introductions.

"What is she doing anyway?!" Chiyako moaned at the ceiling.

"Um. . ." replied a terribly small voice.

Chiyako spun about. Had her curiosity been less, she might have taken the time to be embarrassed. Standing just beyond the room's entrance was a petite young woman about Chiyako's size. _Not that I'll be borrowing any outfits if the rest of her wardrobe is like that,_ observed Chiyako. The girl was dressed in a dumpy sweater skirt combo, far too pastel for her skin tone. Chiyako's critical eyes also noted the severity of the stranger's hairstyle, straight and pulled back into a ponytail, her lack of makeup, and horrors, her thick hornrimmed glasses. On the positive side, she need not worry about having her boyfriends stolen away. Realizing she was staring, Chiyako made introductions.

"Hi," Chiyako bowed slightly, "You must be Yamashita Rumi, I'm Namuki Chiyako."

Rumi smiled softly, almost apologetically, "Pleased to meet you, Namuki-san."

"Oh, call me Chiyako."

"Chiyako," Rumi repeated, and her fixed smile became a shade less reserved.

Chiyako had a dozen questions prepared for this moment, and found herself unable to remember a single one. She smiled dumbly at Rumi, whose blank smile probably indicated the same problem. Chiyako glanced about, willing the dorm room itself to present a suitable topic for conversation.

Seizing on the first thing that sprung to mind, she asked "You don't mind me taking this side of the room, do you? Because it wouldn't be hard to change. . ." her voice trailed off as she recalled the three hours she and her mother had spent arranging things "just so" earlier that week. Silently, she cursed her impulsiveness. If she only considered consequences of actions, she wouldn't have to devote so much of her time to damage control.

"Oh no," Rumi said quickly, "this arrangement is going to work out just great. This way, you get the sun in the morning and I get to sleep in." She grinned.

Chiyako smiled back. There was a mischievious streak to this girl that Chiyako wholeheartedly approved of. And her smile was nice. It lit up her otherwise plain features. Really, she wasn't half-bad looking. A different outfit, maybe shorter hair, get rid of the hideous glasses. . . Chiyako gave Rumi a mental makeover and was quite pleased with the results. Imagining Rumi's future appearance relaxed Chiyako and from there conversation flowed easily, satisfying Chiyako's curiosity.

Rumi was from a small country town in the Shizuoka Prefecture and this was only her third time in Tokyo. She was majoring in chemistry, although she insisted that she really wasn't all that smart. But where she really scored points was in her display of overt and unabashed awe of Chiyako.

"So you're here all by yourself?" Rumi asked, "I just couldn't do that."

Chiyako was confused, "What do you mean? You're a lot farther from home than I am."

"Well, I suppose. But Jin, that's my boyfriend, he's going to school here too."

"High school sweetheart?" Chiyako asked somewhat cynically and silently thanked the gods that her old flame was attending another university so they could break it off cleanly. As far as she was concerned, college was for fun dating, you were married long enough as it was.

"Yes. Or no," Rumi scrunched up her face slightly, "we've been dating since middle school."

Chiyako felt her jaw drop involuntarily, "No kidding."

Rumi replied with a shy smile as if apologizing. 

"Well. . .". Dating someone from before they reached puberty. She thought back to the boys she'd dated in middle school, and barely stifled a groan. Chiyako searched for something to add. "You guys must be serious. We should work out a system so I don't walk in on you unexpectedly. Is he going to spend the night much?"

Rumi's smile dropped and she went beet red. "We never, I mean, I wouldn't, I mean. . ." her voice trailed off and suddenly a look of horror covered her embarrassment. "You aren't going to be bringing men over for the. . ."

Chiyako's mind was swimming. How to get out of from this one gracefully? "No, no. I'm not dating anyone now. I want to have fun, but not — I've never-"

"Oh, not that there's anything wrong with it-"

"No, but it would have to be someone really special-"

"Of course, of course. If it was someone really special-"

"And I haven't met that person yet-"

"So there's nothing to worry about." Rumi concluded. 

They both visibly relaxed, having talked themselves down from a possible conflict area. _Well, I'll be careful not to go there again, _Chiyako promised herself.

"Anyway, we can go on double dates. You, Jin, me and whoever I'm interested in that week."

Rumi's smile grew large again. Unguarded was the way Chiyako would describe it. _This could work out. It could really work_ out.

*******

Must. Not. Fall. Asleep. Desperately Jin repeated his mantra while the student to his right snored on, oblivious. Emerging World Markets 107 was boring, the teacher was a prattling fool, the room was stuffy, it was after lunch, and dear gods, it was only the first day of the semester. Jin had tried counting the ummms the lecturer used and gave up when he hit 41 in the first five minutes. He'd tried pinching his arm until his skin turned red. It was no use, time for desperate measures.

The only choice was to completely drown out the old geezer and do something to wake up his mind. He scanned the room for a good distraction and it was then that his eyes fell upon the long light hair of the girl seated kitty corner from him.

He had seen her earlier, in his accounting class. She had made quite an entrance, arriving fifteen minutes late. The hall had been packed, and rather than sit in the isle, she had politely worked her way past several students to get at an inner seat. The professor had looked rather put off, but just grimaced and said nothing.

Jin could understand. The woman was stunning. Not just good looking, but stunning. It was something in her attitude, something that Jin had not seen in a woman his age ever before, unless you counted TV idols. Jin guessed that she could sweet-talk any man here, including himself.

Still, there was something more to the woman than just looks and style. There was a purposefulness in her manners. It radiated from her with every move, every gesture. If this were a movie, she would be the starring role, and this classroom and all students would be simply the background, establishing her superiority to the audience through sheer contrast.

The woman turned slightly and their eyes locked, holding for a fraction of a second before Jin turned away. He could feel the color rise in his cheeks. Well that was real smooth, he admonished himself, now she'll think you're some sort of pervert.

Afterwards, he tried to keep his focus on the professor, but there was something nagging his subconscious. It was than ten minutes before he gave into the temptation. As discretely as possible, he turned his head, and instantly regretted it. The woman was unabashedly staring at him. Catching his eyes, she gave him a slow smile, winked, and turned her attention to the front of the room. _What's that supposed to mean?_ He found himself still looking at her, and self-consciously looked away.

The rest of the class went by quickly. Whatever the professor was now droning was lost in Jin's distracted musings about the woman's actions. What did it all mean? Was she laughing at him, or had he inadvertently sent her some signal, and if so, what did that signal mean? Should he apologize or simply sneak out? He was leaning towards the latter course of action, but just then the bell rang, and she turned around to face him. There was no way to avoid her.

She smiled coyly. "You were looking at me" she accused him.

"Guilty," said Jin sheepishly.

"I could get angry," she continued, "But I'll let it pass, if you take me out for coffee."

Jin managed to say "Ahhh," as his brain ran out on him. Was this a date offer? She was sure forward. His hand unconsciously began rubbing the back of his neck.

"What?" she pursed her lip and raised her eyebrows and Jin understood precisely why the accounting professor had not reamed her out.

"I, ahhh, I have a girlfriend." There, that wasn't so painful.

"Oh, that doesn't bother me."

For the past few days Jin had entertained the idea that he looked as cosmopolitan as any other student. With this conversation he felt like he had just stepped out of a rice field. The looks the woman was giving him indicated she was just as aware of his discomfort. He suspected she was enjoying it.

"It's only a coffee. Don't worry, I'm not out for a relationship, I just like spending time with cute guys." She said it flippantly, as if the explanation negated any objections.

"I rather doubt my girlfriend would see it that way."

"I won't tell." Her coy smile was back. She was determined and there remained no subtle way of backing out. He had one option open to him, short of having coffee with her. 

Jin actively glanced at his watch and exclaimed, "Oh my, look at the time. I gotta run. Bye." and with that he put his long legs to use, sprinting up the stairs, out the room, down the hall and thought the doors. Once outside, he took off quickly in an direction free of people and not stopping until he was several blocks from the building. Only then did he turn around. Jin relaxed, relieved not to see her. He was safe, at least until his next class. Well, he'd have to think of something before then.

*******

"Tell me about your day," commanded Rumi. "Anything of interest happen?" 

Jin looked up from behind his cup. His eyes were sparkling, but because his mouth was obscure, Rumi couldn't read his expression. It didn't matter, she was just glad to be with him. 

Jin had been in the city for nearly a week while she had just gotten in yesterday. He had met her at the train station and helped he get her baggage to her room, but it had been hurried, and they hadn't had time to really talk. Dinner had been at a hip but noisy pub and it was only now, sitting in a coffeehouse, that they could really carry on a conversation.

"Oh it was alright," replied Jin. "They're all introductory classes, not too interesting. And your day?"

"Similar," Rumi fibbed. 

Actually she could say a lot, but she didn't want to monopolize the conversation. There was a pause, filled nicely by the waiter bringing their desserts.

"So what's your roommate like?" Jin asked. 

"Oh. . ." Rumi thought a moment. "Her name is Namuki Chiyako and she's exceedingly pretty. Her hair is something else; light and long, really fine. She's from the city, a sophisticated type."

"Sophisticated?"

"Well, into boys, parties, the like."

"Sophisticated?" Jin asked again, this time more dubiously.

"That came out wrong. It's more the way she acts. She's not the least nervous or worried, even though she's just as new to the city as we are."

Jin frowned, "Are you nervous, Rumi? I thought you wanted to go away for college."

"I do, I do. But isn't it scary? All these students and professors, and all of them so smart. It's just different from the country. Anyway," not wanting to worry Jin, Rumi went onto change the subject, "she has this air of knowing just what she wants."

"Sounds like she might be hard to live with."

"Oh no!" Rumi paused, "alright," she admitted, "maybe. I got the impression that she thought dating the same guy since middle school was pretty boring."

Jin gave a mock sigh and drawled, "Yep, them's just our country folk ways. Boring."

Rumi giggled and leaned over to Jin in a confiding manner "But, Jin, she's sooo cool! I wish I was like her."

Jin laughed, "Are you going to dump a country bumpkin like me?"

"Maybe." Rumi kept her face straight for all of ten seconds. Then she completely broke down. Regaining her composure she said seriously, "If I broke up with you Jin, I would have no one to talk to, or to steal dessert from!" she added judiciously while snatching the last of Jin's cookie. 

They continued their banter as Jin paid for the meal - another perk according to Rumi. From the restaurant it was a quick walk to Rumi's boarding house. There was a short debate about whether Jin could come up or not. The landlady would disapprove, but it wasn't very late. It would surprise Chiyako, but she was sooo coool, it would be okay. In the end, a compromise was reached whereby Rumi ran up and checked with Chiyako first and then brought Jin up.

*******

Chiyako waited, full of curiosity. What would a boyfriend of five years be like? Gosh, wasn't that longer than most people were married? 

Rumi knocked gently on the door to alert Chiyako of their presence. Chiyako turned, smiled woodenly and her first thought was, _help._ And then, _this couldn't be any more comical if it was planned by a writer._

Standing in the doorway, looking just as uncomfortable as she felt, stood the guy she had hit on earlier that day. The one who said he had a girlfriend. The girlfriend who was obviously Rumi. _Help._

I wonder. . . she thought absently, if they broke up, what would be the minimum required waiting time before making a move on him wouldn't be considered tacky. Mentally Chiyako slapped herself once for the thought, and then again for not being ashamed of having entertained it. She couldn't help it, he was just as good looking as he'd been in class.

_Priorities,_ Chiyako, _priorities._ How much more crass can a person get than stealing her roommate's boyfriend? But then, why couldn't Rumi's sweetheart at least have glasses or something?

To hide her discomfort, Chiyako threw her frustrated energy into small talk. It was a trick practiced since childhood, and she could tell that Rumi was completely taken in by it. If anything, it was Jin's agitation that stood out. Rumi commented more than once on his lack of attention.

_It's really a bummer he's taken._ Jin was taller, more muscular, and far better looking than she had given Rumi credit for. Even his awkwardness, magnified no doubt by his discomfort, added to his cuteness. 

Analytically, or as analytically as she could, Chiyako looked at the couple. Much as she'd like to dismiss it, they looked good together. They were like some matched secondary characters in TV series, the ones who were to be supportive of, but not distracting from, the more dramatic leads.

Chiyako found she liked that analogy. Koishikawa-san wasn't the most suave guy she'd ever met, she'd seen that when she talked to him in class. Not a problem for Rumi, but Chiyako had always imagined herself paired with a more sophisticated guy.

Slowly, she began to relax. She wasn't madly in love or anything. It was just a passing infatuation, a crush, if that much. If Koishikawa could keep his mouth closed, there would be no harm done at all. She'd have to catch him after classes tomorrow to make sure.

"Hey Jin," Rumi was saying, "Chiyako's convinced me to join the tennis circle." She held up a flyer, "would you be interested?"

"Hmmm," he looked even more uncomfortable, but as he paged through, Chiyako could see he was interested, "This doesn't seem too physically intense. Optional practices and lots of other activities, skiing even. I'll. . ." He glanced at Chiyako and she tried to look casual. "I'll think about it."

"There's a meeting on Friday. Let's go and see if we like it." proposed Rumi.

Rumi gave him the puppy dog eyes treatment and Koishikawa melted. Then, making like he suddenly realized how late it had become — _how often does he use that trick?_- he begged off and Rumi escorted him out. Chiyako worried briefly that he might blurt something out about their other encounter, but Rumi returned almost immediately and seemed not the least bit ruffled. _If he was my boyfriend, I would have taken more time saying goodbye._ It irked her slightly to find the two of them as chaste as Rumi had implied. 

No wonder she got so flustered by my comments. _Well, it was an honest mistake._ She had probably come out as quite the floozy. But how was she to know? Chiyako had been acquainted with several long term couples that had, well at least implied they had had, that type of relationship. It was an unfamiliar area for her. She had had been a plethora of boyfriends over the years, but she had always set some very strictly observed limits for all of them.

"Koishikawa-san seems real, um, nice." She said to Rumi after they turned out the lights later that night.

"Yes he is." Rumi agreed. She sounded sleepy, but Chiyako was curious, and it was barely twelve.

"How did you guys meet?"

"Oh, we lived next to each other."

"Your whole life?" 

"Yep. Jin was my best friend growing up."

"Wow." Chiyako's amazement was genuine. "That's like straight out of a movie. Was it true love from the beginning?"

Rumi didn't reply for a moment. "I guess so. I can't think of being with anyone else."

"So how come you aren't engaged yet? Don't your parents approve?" 

"Oh no, everyone's okay with us getting married. They were all kind of assuming we would even before we started dating. We've decided to wait until after we graduate." There was silence and Chiyako was about to ask something else when Rumi continued with her chain of thought. "We've never really discussed it. With Jin and me, it's as if we know each other's minds. There's no hurry. We have all the time in the world."

Chiyako was going to challenge her on that point, but thought better of it. Rumi seemed so sure. What would it be like to love someone that strongly, she wondered, and fretted. Something was troubling Chiyako and she was pretty sure she knew what it was. Put simply, she was jealous. Not of Koishikawa, but of Rumi's relationship to him. Chiyako hadn't admitted it until now, but the university life was lonely. 

Having a boyfriend would make it easier. Chiyako always valued her independence and she didn't like these feeling of longing. They were only temporary. Soon she'd know lots of people, enough to fill all her hours. When that happened, she'd look back at these emotions and laugh at herself. Still, Rumi's boyfriend was quite the looker.

"Well, I really like Koishikawa-san." She said with all honesty, and added, "You have my approval." That was more of a vow to herself. Hands off, girl. 

Rumi didn't reply. In the darkness, Chiyako could hear her rhythmic breathing. Asleep already?

Copyright Kim Smuga-Otto 1999


	2. Enter Youji: Potential Love Interest

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 2: Enter Youji, Potential Love Interest

Jin was running late, a natural state for him, and barely caught his first class of the day, Accounting 101. The professor was just starting lecture as he slid into a seat near the back and quickly rummaged though his bag for a pencil. There was movement to his right. Looking up, he saw someone he knew taking the seat next to him. 

Namuki smiled mirthfully. "Looks like I'm even later than you."

Jin had been preparing for this meeting. Last night he had even rehearsed a speech. But he had been hoping to confront her later in the day. Namuki's bravodo unnerved him and he reverted to staring.

"I want to talk to you after class." she said smoothly and turned her attention to the professor, who was speaking into the blackboard.

It was the longest class of Jin's life, and he got nothing else out of it. He was intimately aware of Namuki's every aspect: her scents, the way she fiddled with her pencil, and the curses she muttered under her breath whenever the lecturer used math. He tried to stop himself, but found he couldn't help glancing at her. At one point, she began painting her nails. If he wasn't dreading what she was going to say afterwards, he would have been quite amused.

Why did she have to start this whole mess in the first place? Had she not pulled that stunt earlier, they could have just been good friends. If only. . . Honesty forced him to admit he was also to blame; it was his wandering eye. He continued to puzzle out the situation, trying to remember his speech. It just got him more flustered. As class ended, he decided he'd just let Namuki do the talking. _I just hope she doesn't try asking me out again._

She stood and looked him squarely in the eye. Taking a breath, she began, "About what I did yesterday, it was a mistake."

Inwardly, Jin breathed relief.

Namuki continued, "I thought you were interested."

What? That's not what I remember." he said defensively.

"I thought you were playing hard to get." Namuki shot back, "You were looking at me."

"I," Jin stopped himself. Escalating this to an argument was not what he wanted. 

"I was, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

"You just like staring at strange women?" Namuki was giving him a peculiar look now.

"No! Look it was a boring class. I was almost asleep, my eyes just wandered, that's all." Urk. That was a pathetic thing to say. "I'm sure you must have guys looking at you all the time." _Oops, that was meant to come off as a compliment._

He was sure she'd slap him for that, but she actually seemed to relax. "It was a boring lecture, wasn't it? I kept getting this urge to stand up and scream, just to wake up." She giggled.

Just like that, the tension was broken. "I am sorry I was staring at you. It won't happen again." Jin smiled. This was one unusual girl.

"Darn right, I'm never attending that class again. I dropped it yesterday. Seriously Koishikawa-san, you don't have to worry about me stealing you away from Rumi. It would be pretty stupid, considering that we're roommates."

Jin wanted to know if she'd try it if Rumi wasn't her roommate, but decided it was better not to ask. Namuki looked as if she wanted to ask something as well. Jin kept his mouth shut, waiting for her to speak,

"You're not going to tell her, are you?"

"What, tell Rumi that you. . ."

"Yeah. Please don't. It was a mistake, and I don't want to have to change roommates already."

"Okay, but if it was just a mistake, Rumi will understand."

Namuki looked at him skeptically, "I think you have a lot to learn about women."

Jin found himself getting defensive again. "Rumi's not like that. She's very reasonable."

She shrugged, "Just promise me you won't tell her."

It wasn't a big deal, Jin thought to himself. Namuki's request wasn't unreasonable. He had purposely avoided mentioning the incident the previous night. But it felt uncomfortable to keep anything from Rumi. Nevertheless, he sighed and agreed not to tell. Namuki brightened considerably.

"Okay, that's settled. I'm meeting Rumi for breakfast just now. Want to come?"

Jin looked at her, thoroughly disorientated. "It's past 10:30. Isn't it a little late for breakfast?"

"10:30 is a perfectly reasonable time for breakfast. It's actually early by my standards. If I had my way, I'd sleep until noon every day."

Jin shook his head, grinning in spite of himself, "At least you and Rumi are on the same schedule."

"Oh I wouldn't sound too high and mighty. My sources say you've been known to sleep through whole weekends."

"One time, and Rumi will never let me forget," he muttered dramatically. What other Jin anecdotes had Rumi passed onto her roommate?

They continued their banter as they walked out the building and Jin found himself warming to Namuki. She had her character flaws, impulsiveness coupled with a slight shallowness, but her witt and charm and charm more than made up for them. Still he found himself worrying about Namuki's relationship with Rumi. 

Not that he wanted to control Rumi's life, but sometimes she could be too trusting. She seemed to think that her honesty would protect her. It had worked back home. But back home, where everyone was someone else's cousin, karma wasn't just an abstract concept but a tangible web of remembered debts and potential retribution. Here everyone was pretty much a stranger and wouldn't necessarily be accountable for their actions.

On the surface, Namuki seemed extremely pleasant. The way she moved radiated confidence - small wonder Rumi stood in awe of her. But what kind of person would she be like to live with on a daily basis? Jin began to probe Namuki with questions, justifying it as protective boyfriend's duty. Namuki gave willing if short answers. 

She was born in a small Japanese city, raised in Hiroshima, had one younger brother, no pets, and had only been out to the country for vacations. Like himself, she was majoring in business, with plans to be an office lady for a few years and then marry a rich CEO. Jin found himself slightly disappointed. He had expected something more unique. 

In a notably smooth manner, Namuki shifted the conversation and began asking him questions. Soon he found himself talking about his brothers, his dog, the family hotel business. This woman was obviously a much better interrogator than himself. Much, much better.

"Well, I'm getting a degree in business, but I before I settle down, I'd like to travel, maybe study abroad or something." it was a dream no one save Rumi knew. Why had he just told her, of all people?

She was looking at him intently now. What was she thinking of him? She opened her mouth and might have said something, had not Rumi suddenly popped up from behind Jin's other side.

"Jin, Chiyako!" she sounded both surprised and happy. "When did you meet?"

"We have a class together." Namuki replied. 

"Neat." Rumi reply enthusiastically and then added ruefully, "I wish I knew the people in my classes."

"Oh, you will soon enough," Jin assured her.

"Maybe, but they're almost all _guys_." she complained.

"Really?" Namuki looked interested. "Maybe I should sign up. What are you taking?"

"Just the basics. Chemistry, physics, calculus-"

Namuki gulped, "Forget I mentioned it. And anyway, I wouldn't want to date a nerd."

"You're so evil, Chiyako," Rumi tried to look disapprovingly and failed. Her inability to hide her feelings was both a strength and a weakness, and one of the things Jin liked best about her. "Besides, they're not all bad looking. I saw one who was quite cute." she giggled.

"Really," drawled Namuki, "What's his name?"

"Oh, I couldn't ask him that. I didn't even talk to him."

"Admiring him from afar?" Chiyako teased.

Jin walked silently in-between them, just listening to their banter. He decided he liked Namuki. And Namuki liked Rumi. And Rumi liked Namuki. And he was getting one of those goofy smiles on his face. Oh well, he was walking between two very good looking women, it was only perfectly natural.

*******

The Tennis Circle's intro meeting was packed. Rumi looked about carefully but did not catch sight of either Chiyako or Jin. It didn't concern her. Jin had never been on time for anything in his life, and Rumi's experience with Chiyako indicated she was possibly even worse. Oh well, the meeting wasn't officially starting for another fifteen minutes or so. Until then she could mingle. 

Spotting a crowd, mostly women who looked fairly friendly, she was about to set off when someone tapped her shoulder. She turned and did a double take. Standing in front of her was the cute guy from her calculus class, the very one that Chiyako had teased her about earlier.

"What a coincidence," she said without thinking. _Oops, didn't mean for that to slip out. _Jin was right, she was picking up Chiyako's impulsiveness.

Luckily, he seemed to have misinterpreted her, "Yes, we're in the same math class. I'm Matsura Youji."

"Pleased to meet you Matsura-san. I'm Yamashita Rumi." He was unmistakably cute and certainly not nerdy. Well, maybe he was a bit young, and he did sport a cowlick, but the overall effect was quite endearing. Already in her mind she was introducing him to Chiyako.

"Are you into outdoor activities, Yamashita-san?"

"A bit. I like hiking and swimming. Are you into outdoor activities?" Why did she always get a stilted conversation with strangers? Must be that old self confidence problem again.

"Oh yes. I was president of my tennis team in high school. And I've run in several marathons." He said confidently. Maybe a bit too confidently. _Kind of full of himself, isn't he?_

"Really, I could never do that. I get tired just running for the bus."

Matsuura looked flustered as if he'd realized that he had been bragging. 

"Actually I do too. For marathons I psyche myself up. And I couldn't do it right now, I'm out of shape."

"Oh." she looked around for Jin and Chiyako.

"Anyway, I really want to join the club so I can meet more people. I don't know anyone else here."

Rumi looked at him again. His voice carried less certainty this time. He was probably just nervous and wanted to make a good impression. She felt sympathy and a measure of friendliness towards him. Besides, he looked cuter when he was unsure of himself.

"Yes, I'm joining for the same reasons. Well, that and I don't want to get fat." She laughed and he joined in, relaxing visibly. Again she looked around.

"Are you meeting someone?" he asked.

"Well, my boyfriend and roommate are coming to the meeting, but I suspect they're both late." Yes, a voice inside her said, remember you do have a boyfriend. So what, another voice said, you can look at other boys. Chiyako and she had just recently read a magazine article that affirmed such urges were normal and even healthy.

"Oh, you have a boyfriend." he said, his voice lackluster.

Off in her own verbal chastising and justification, Rumi realized that she hadn't heard what he said. There was something in his tone that made her look at him carefully. He seemed especially nervous now. _Darn my scattered brain, what did he just say?_ She was about to ask him to repeat himself when over his shoulder she saw Chiyako making her way towards them.

"Oh," She pointed over his ear, "There's my roommate. Come on, I'll introduce you. Matsuura-san, this is Namuki Chiyako, my roommate in the dorms. Chiyako, this is Matsuura Youji, he's in my calculus class." Rumi gave Chiyako a pointed look.

"Very pleased to meet you." Chiyako said. She gave Matsuura the once over and asked almost seductively, "So does this mean you're smart in math?"

Matsuura took a second to process this. "Yes." he spoke slowly, and then repeated himself with more confidence, "Yes, math's my favorite subject."

"Excellent," Chiyako practically bubbled. She turned to Rumi to explain. "Jin and I have decided that we need to form a study group for our accounting class to do homework together. Can you get Matsuura-san to join us? That way he can help us out on the hard problems."

"Chiyako, I just met him!" Rumi said, blushing slightly. Chiyako's forwardness was fun to watch, but Rumi found herself caught up in the resulting discomfort all too frequently.

"Oh, I think a study group would be a great idea." Matsuura interjected quickly, "I used to tutor math in high school."

Chiyako smiled, "Great, I used to be tutored in math in high school. That's how I used to get dates too." Her eyes darted up and down Matsuura as a devilish smiled played across her face.

This time both Rumi and Youji blushed. Rumi decided that she didn't like the way this conversation was proceeding. This was not the first time she'd seen Chiyako pull the seductress routine with a boy.

Grasping for something to derail it, she spoke up with mock hurt. "Why didn't you ask me to help you guys out. I'm in calculus too, you know."

"That's what I asked Jin," Chiyako defended herself, "He said you're great with numbers but when you try to explain them, you get your negatives confused and spend an hour looking for your mistake."

"That only happened once! I can't help it if he never asked for my help again." 

"I didn't want to risk it again. I was more confused after your explanation."

Rumi jumped. Jin had somehow snuck up behind her. She tried to glare at him, and would have succeeded if he hadn't tickled her. Boy, she wished her neck wasn't so sensitive.

Introductions were once again made and before more could be said, the club's president was calling the meeting to order. Jin asked Matsuura to join them and they found seats together, Chiyako managing to situate herself between both men. Sitting next to Jin, Rumi felt very much at the periphery. But then the meeting started, and it didn't seem so bad. Besides, she had the distinct feeling the girl on her other side was checking out Jin, just as well that she was between them. Still it would have been nice to hear what Chiyako was whispering. After the first few minutes the president stopped mentioning useful information and started congratulating committee members and retelling stories about people Rumi had never met. Still, it seemed like the members had fun together and the price wasn't too high considering the equipment they got access to. The club even organized a skiing trip, something that she had always wanted to do. Afterwards there were booths to visit and organizing sempais to meet. Overall, it was not a wasted night and Rumi discovered that she was looking forward to the club picnic scheduled for Sunday.

Still, it was getting late. The original plan was for Jin to escort the girls back to their boarding house. Unfortunately, it seemed impossible to decide when the escorting should occur. Rumi had had a long day, and was anxious to get to bed. Chiyako, on the other hand, showed not the least desire to depart. A hasty solution had Jin escorting them each in turn, which pleased no one. Luckily, Matsuura volunteered to stay and walk Chiyako home later. The new arrangement was agreeable to all.

"Matsuura-san really does seem nice," Rumi told Jin as they strolled home. "At first he seemed the bragging type, but I think he was just nervous. Wouldn't it be something if he and Chiyako. . . Well they seemed to get along. I think what Chiyako needs is a kind boyfriend, it would settle her."

Jin smiled, "She told me she wanted to marry a older, rich man so that she could have fun spending his money after he was dead."

"Oh she just says things like that. It's just that she's never been in love. One of these days she'll meet someone so special and perfect for her that she'll fall head over heals. And then she'll get married, have kids, and live happily ever after." Rumi found herself sighing after this prophecy.

"And you think that special someone is Matsura-san?" Jin looked at her dubiously.

"Probably not, but wouldn't it be funny if it was? I really do wonder who Chiyako will fall in love with."

They walked on silently through the evening. As spring unfolded, the evenings were getting almost warm. Rumi looked forward to wearing her skirts, especially the new ones she'd bought on sale last fall. Chiyako had even offered to share some of her stuff, which was much more grown up than Rumi's wardrobe.

"Rumi," said Jin softly.

"Mmmm?" replied Rumi absently.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't think too much about her affairs. I think Namuki-san is a very different person than you. I wouldn't get too wrapped up in her relationships."

Rumi stopped and tried to puzzle out what Jin had just said. She gave him a confused look. Jin looked uncomfortable.

"I mean. . . Nevermind."

Rumi was even more confused, but she just nodded. If it was something important, Jin would have said.

At the dorm, they said their good-byes, kissing briefly.

*******

The telephone was ringing when Youji returned to his apartment. He made a dash for it, but the line was dead when he picked up. It didn't matter, he had a fair idea who had called. Quickly he prepared a cup of instant ramen, the only food he was really proficient at cooking and dialed a sequence which was all too familiar. The dial tone barely sounded once before it was answered. Just as he suspected, Emiko must have been perched by the phone.

"Where have you been?" was the first thing his younger sister demanded, "I've been trying to call you all evening!" Youji moved the receiver a inch further from his ear. Emiko had been speaking in exclamation marks since she'd hit puberty. 

"I told you I was going to a sports club meeting." he defended himself.

"But it's so late! What did you do all that time?" not allowing him to answer she jumped to her own conclusions, "I bet you met a girl, didn't you?"

She was teasing him slightly, but Youji had a perfect comeback . "Actually I did."

"Really? I don't believe it!" Emiko squealed. "It wasn't the girl from you calculus class, was it? The cute one you were telling me about?"

There were times that Youji wished he confided less to his sibling. "Well, yes."

"I don't believe it! I don't believe it!" she repeated, stressing each syllable, "Tell me about her, what's her name? What's she like? Huh, huh, How come you never answer me?"

"Maybe because you never let me get a word in edgewise." Youji encouraged his sister to be open with him; she was so shy around strangers. But he had to be careful not to let her take advantage of him too much.

"Sorry. I'll listen now." Her voice toned down a couple of notches, and he could tell it took a concentrated effort on her part.

"Good. Well, her name is Yamashita Rumi, but before you get your hopes up, she already has a boyfriend."

"Bummer. Hey is he cute? — oops, sorry I'll try to be quiet."

"It's okay. Actually he's very good looking. But there is some good news."

He waited for Emiko to jump at the bait.

"What, he has a younger 15 year-old brother?"

"No, Yamashita has a roommate. And before you ask, she's incredibly good looking."

"Better looking than Yamashita?"

"Oh yeah. And she doesn't have any boyfriends. And I walked her home. And we had a great conversation. She's cool."

"Are you going to ask her out? What does she look like?"

Youji found himself playing twenty questions for the next half an hour. He didn't mind, his family would reimburse him for the call. Besides, he knew that he missed Emiko as much as she missed him. The first week had been quite lonely. His rented apartment was quite spacious and grand, but he was finding that he missed having people about. Especially at night when it was all too apparent that he knew no one in this large city.

But now things were looking up. He had met Namuki Chiyako, and he was enamored.

*******

It was Sunday, and Jin had decided that for once he'd be early. He had gotten up at 9:00 AM, a rare occurrence in itself, and then proceeded to get ready keeping a careful watch on the time. When he was done, he was pleasantly surprised to see there was still a half an hour until the picnic. Should he show up early and wait around? Maybe. Wait, wasn't it a potluck, should he bring something? He called up Rumi to check.

"Well of course you should bring something. Weren't you paying attention at the meeting?"

"Hey, they said a lot of stuff."

Rumi sighed, "Men." Jin made a mental note to tell her later how much of Namuki's mannerisms she was picking up. "Look, why don't you stop by the store and pick up a dessert of something."

"Is that what you're doing?"

"No," Rumi's reply was smug, "Chiyako and I are making potato salad. It's American." she added.

"Is it complicated?" Jin had eaten Rumi's cooking on more than one occasion. She wasn't a terrible cook, but when she got overwhelmed she tended to mistakes, like the time she used baking soda instead of corn starch as a thickening agent in stir fry.

"It isn't hard at all," Rumi protested, catching Jin's implications. "Besides, Chiyako is doing it with me. We already bought the ingredients anyway. And. . .one of my professors said that cooking is just like experiments, and I'm great with those."

Jin debated what to say next. It didn't matter, Rumi either knew him well enough to guess his thoughts, or she had been thinking along the same lines.

"I only set the chemistry lab on fire once, and it wasn't even a big fire. Sensei said that he had heard of much worse." Rumi finally said.

"Okay, okay," said Jin apologetically. _I only asked if the recipe was complicated_. Who made the rule that when females were irrational, it was the males duty to apologize. "I'm really looking forward to trying it."

"Really?" Gosh, but she sounded sweet.

"Absolutely." he assured her, "I'm sure it will turn out great. I've got to go shopping now, see you at the picnic."

"Okay, we'll see you there. Don't be late." she added.

Jin hung up and headed out to the nearest grocery store. Finding the dessert section proved to be no trouble, but the prices surprised him. Did he have to buy enough for everyone? That would cost quite a bit. Maybe he could just buy one. Just as long as he showed up with something, right?

"Man," said a familiar voice next to him, "I thought the idea of a potluck was to eat cheap."

Jin turned to see Matsuura standing next to him.

"Maybe we could get cup ramen for everyone?" Jin suggested.

"Sure," Matsuura smiled, "I'll bring the water."

Jin smiled back. He hadn't had much time to talk to the guy at the meeting. Rumi had said he was nice, if a bit arrogant. But Rumi had very high standards for the way men were supposed to behave. To Jin, Matsuura seemed just fine. After all, guys had to show off for women, it was part of their nature.

"I know," Matsuura said suddenly, "let's go in together on the purchase?"

It was a smart solution, Jin agreed. They spent some time selecting the desserts. Nothing too fancy, as they also wanted to partake of them. Many of the sweets looked to be for female only consumption.

Jin could have sworn they were still on schedule when they left the store. Apparently though, the walk to the park took longer than he realized. When they arrived the picnic was already in full swing, with Rumi and Namuki nowhere to be seen. And they told _him_ to be on time.

It didn't bother Jin. He and Matsuura were having a very pleasant discussion which they continued as they wandered the picnic grounds looking for the girls. Jin recognized how much he missed real male conversation. Back at home his family was dominated by men; he, his four brothers and numerous uncles and male cousins had constantly filled the house. Here, the only other guy he knew, his roommate, was something of an otaku, and hardly ever around. Over the past week, he had found himself spending most of his time with Rumi and Namuki. 

The two were a lot of fun, but there were only so many conversations about fashion, shopping, and the female perspective that one could stand. It was the worst when they were scoping out men. _I suppose I should feel flattered that they're that comfortable around me, but hearing critiques of men's posteriors is something I could gladly do without_. And pointing out his gender didn't help, then they wanted to get a "man's" perspective. Jin knew enough to predict that an honest answer would not be appreciated.

With Matsuura he could talk guy style. It wasn't just the subject matter of the conversation, although sports and cars did figure prominently. Girls weren't, what was the term, analytical. Like the other day when he had dismissed a professor as a pompous windbag. Namuki had shot back that he was still fairly young and he was probably inexperienced. That lead to speculation about his personal life and before Jin knew it the conversation had shifted to acceptable ways to pick up a teacher.

Jin shook his head at the thought, and related the tale to Matsuura, who gave him a knowing pat on the shoulder.

"I have a kid sister myself. Emiko's just great, but with her it's just boys, boys, boys."

"Do you think our fathers had to put up with this?" Jin mused.

"Oh yes, they just didn't find out about it until after they were married. At least we know what we're getting ourselves in for. Today's women are, what's the term, more liberated. Like Namuki-san."

"Oh yes, she is most certainly liberated."

Matsuura's voice took on a more serious tone, "What kind of a person is she?"

Jin looked up. So much for analytical conversation, Matsuura's question could have only one interpretation. And Jin, despite finding he enjoyed Namuki's company, still carried a trace of reserve from their first meeting. He was able to hide these feelings from Rumi, but a guy could get hurt by Namuki.

"Namuki-san has some growing up to do."

Matsuura-san looked confused, which made Jin feel guilty. After all, he didn't really know Namuki. He tried to soften his judgement of her. "I don't think she's a bad person, underneath it all. It just that, you know, starting university and being away from her parents and all. . ." he paused and said honestly, "I think once she adjusts to college life she'll settle down." 

There, that didn't sound to bad. Matsuura nodded enthusiastically and Jin wondered how he had taken it. It just wasn't his place to pass judgement on Namuki. And he barely knew Matsuura. Better just to keep his mouth shut and let them work things out themselves.

The girls still hadn't shown up when the first food items were served. Initially it was amusing, after Rumi admonishments that he should be on time. Half an hour passed, and the situation seemed less and less humorous. Finally, after an hour's wait, Jin's annoyance, started turning to genuine worry. Matsuura was less concerned, but agreed with Jin when he suggested calling the apartment.

The phone booth in the park was out of order, forcing Jin to walk several blocks to find a working one. It didn't do him any good. Despite calling Rumi several days in a row, her number had slipped from his memory, and trying to recall it only made him more frusterated. Because they had only just moved in, information didn't have their listing either. He returned to the park intending to inform Matsuura that he was going to look for them, only to find Rumi, obvious as everything, in conversation with Matsuura. 

"So anyway, after all that trouble with boiling the potatoes, it turned out that we hadn't even bought enough. Oh, hi Jin. I was just telling Matsuura-san why we were so late. You just won't believe." That was all the acknowledgement she gave him before returning to her narrative. "So, anyway, I told Chiyako we should substitute rice, but she thought it would make a decent soup the way it was. It might have, if we had come straight to the picnic, but we needed to get disposable bowls and they were harder to find than you'd think. And then," Rumi sputtered into a giggling fit, taking several moments to recompose herself, "I guess we shouldn't have let it sit in the sun. When we got back, it smelled soooo bad. You don't even want to imagine. The entire apartment needed airing out. And then we still needed to get a food item." Rumi was laughing again, tears coming to her eyes.

The rational part of Jin's mind told him he should be feeling relief right now. That there had been no way for Rumi and Namuki to get a hold of him. The explanation for their tardiness was standard Rumi catastrophe. And any anger against Matsuura would be even more unsound. Each of these points were logically sound, but together they did nothing to settle his emotions. If anything, they just made him angrier.

Later that night, after a long walk and a shower, it all seemed terribly silly to Jin. But at the picnic he couldn't help getting more and more perturbed. While he never actually blew up at anyone, he made several sharp comments which caused Rumi to become more withdrawn. Matsuura also seemed distracted, although that could have been because of Namuki.

Namuki, in contrast to the others, was in her element. She had surrounded herself with no less than four gentlemen, with whom she was holding court worthy of a queen. Rumi seemed quite willing to avoid her roommate and Jin suspected that the day's cooking fiasco had engendered more conflict than Rumi's tale implied. 

After the picnic, Rumi and Jin walked home, Matsuura accompanying them part of the way. Things remained civil while he was around. But after he left, all the evening's accumulated frustrations that had been quietly simmering within in Jin boiled over. Without provocation, he snapped at Rumi, and she snapped back. 

"It wasn't my idea to screw up the salad." she shot back, frustrated.

"I don't care about the salad." He growled.

"Then what? What are you so ticked off at?" 

It wasn't any one thing, and even at that point he knew it. But the urge to justify, to be self-righteous was strong, and at that moment Jin was weak, "I just don't like you acting like Namuki-san, okay?"

Rumi looked taken aback. "What's wrong with the way Chiyako acts?"

"Flirting with four guys is legitimate behavior?"

Rumi rolled her eyes, "There's nothing wrong with flirting. Especially when you're not dating anyone." This explanation irked him all the more since he had been telling himself exactly that all evening.

"There is, if you're just leading them on."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that Namuki-san likes playing with men."

"You don't know that, you barely know her."

"I know she was ignoring Matsuura-san pretty well. And that's after she was so friendly with him on Friday!" His voice sounded harsh, even to his own ears.

Rumi glared at him. He could tell by the way she opened and closed her mouth that she could come up with no counter-argument. Finally she said in a steely voice 

"I can walk the rest of the way home from here. Goodbye." 

This last had been delivered in a high-pitched falsetto. She turned walking a deliberate pace around the corner. Jin stood his ground, listening to her footsteps as they sped up to a run.

He should have gone after her then. Apologized. Let her chastise him. But, he told himself, I just can't. Or really, he just wouldn't. It was his fault, some part of him knew that. 

Lying in bed that evening, sleep evaded him. As he tossed and turned, the day's event flashed by him unbidden. It had all begun so bright and promising. Where had it started to go wrong and what could he have done prevent it? Why had he gotten so mad? And why had he said all those things about Namuki? 

Mulling that last question, he got the uncomfortable feeling that he knew. For all the awkwardness their first meeting had caused, secretly he had been flattered when she had asked him out for coffee. It hadn't bothered him that she had later latched onto Matsuura at the meeting, but then she had been such an obvious flirt at the picnic. It hurt his pride to acknowledge that she couldn't have meant anything by her earlier comments. Had some other guy looked at her, she would have done the exact same thing. Heck, if he'd tried to take her up on the offer she probably would have stood him up. 

He should have known better, but it had been a blow all the same. In turn he had taken his anger out on Rumi. Jin spent a moment longer feeling sorry for himself, then sat up and shaking his head. Nothing could be done to change the past. He'd just have to make up for his mistakes. What to do?

Well, a simple apology to Rumi wouldn't be enough. He'd have to think of something much nicer. Flowers? That would be a good start, and a date, a nice one. He'd have to find the right restaurant. Slowly he relaxed and lay back down. He still felt like a louse, but with such productive thoughts of planned reconciliation he was finally able to drift off to sleep.

Copyright Kim Smuga-Otto 1999


	3. The Double Date

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 3: The Double Date

The bell rang, class was over. Standing quickly, Rumi tramped for the exit. Well that was a waste. Not only had she been late, but she hadn't even been able to pay attention to was being said. It was all Jin's fault, every last bit. The thought made her feel self righteous, but did nothing to improve her mood.

Mentally, Rumi growled. If Jin hadn't been such a jerk the previous night, she wouldn't have tried to stay up, waiting for Chiyako to come home. She could have gone to bed at a reasonable time instead of falling asleep at her table around three am. If she had gotten more rest, than she wouldn't have overslept. Even skipping breakfast, she had still arrived late for class. The withering look the professor gave her as she slipped into her seat had embarrassed her She had gotten mad at Jin all over again and wasn't able to pay attention in class.

So now, along with being angry, she was sleepy, hungry, and frustrated. She repeated her mantra for the day. It is all Jin's fault.

Leaving the building, Rumi noted that the day was on it's way to being truly beautiful. It only made her temper worse. Now Jin was spoiling yet another thing. Men were so stupid! She didn't blame Chiyako a bit for not wanting a boyfriend. They were nothing but trouble.

Behind her she heard a male voice call her name. She spun about, sure that it was going to be Jin, and just caught herself from blowing up at Matsuura. Still the look she gave him must have quite something, he literally jumped back.

"What?" Rumi tried to keep the nastiness she felt out of her voice, but it still sounded sharp to her ears.

"I, uhh. . ." Matsuura broke off and he just stared at her.

Add being snappish at Matsuura to the troubles-caused-by-Jin list. She took a deep breath and said as apologetically as possible, "I'm terribly sorry, Matsuura-san. I just didn't get breakfast this morning. I get this way when I'm hungry." Boy that was a stupid sounding lie, but Matsuura relaxed somewhat so it looked like he believed her. 

"Oh, me neither." he agreed, nodding his head vigorously. A look of thoughtfulness passed his face. "There's a very good place around the corner. The food's quite good, and the prices are reasonable. Would you like to join me there?"

Rumi was taken aback. This was awfully forward of him.

Matsuura took in her new look and went slightly red. "Actually," he said softly, "I wanted your advice on something." Suddenly, he reminded Rumi of her younger cousins, so cute and earnest. For the first time that day, Rumi felt her mood lightened, abet slightly.

"Oh, all right then." Being angry at Jin was causing her to take everything the wrong way. Well, she just wouldn't think about him. She'd push all thoughts of that uncouth lout who thought he knew far more than he did, giving his opinions about others when they weren't asked for and on top of that were completely wrong and —

Her pace had increased and Matsuura was jogging to keep up. She took a breath. Matsuura wanted advice. She wouldn't think about that jer-, about Jin, she would concentrate only on what Matsuura wanted to ask her about. Relaxing, she slowed down and gave her companion what she thought was a reassuring smile. 

Matsura seemed even more nervous now. They said nothing as they entered the restaurant. They found a table and ordered, all the while not talking or making eye contact. _It's almost like a first date_. Finally Matsuura broke the silence,

"Is Namuki-san. . . I mean, is she. . .I. . ." he wasn't able to get anything else out and lapsed into silence. 

Rumi glanced about uncomfortably and then hazarded a guess. "You want to know if she's interested in you. Correct?"

Matsuura looked greatly relieve. "Yes," he said, "at the meeting she seemed very open, but then at the picnic, well. Koishikawa-san was saying-"

"Jin doesn't know what he's talking about!" said Rumi decisively. The nerve, now Jin was telling others his views of Chiyako. "He doesn't even know her; I'm the one that lives with her."

"Oh. Well then, what is she like?"

Rumi started to speak, but then paused. Of course Chiyako wasn't the person Jin thought she was, but Rumi owed it to Matsuura to give an honest answer. She needed to be open about Chiyako's weaknesses as well as her strengths.

"Chiyako is. . ."Rumi looked at Matsura-sans eager face. He looked so willing, so open. He really would make a good match for Chiyako. "She's really sweet. She's just impulsive and sometimes does things without thinking. But underneath she really means well. She's just starting college and is away from her family." That sounded accurate, but Matsuura's face showed disappointment. Her explanation didn't justify Chiyako's behavior at the picnic. Why did men always get stuck on silly points like that? "You know, she's never really dated just one person before."

"Oh" Matsura seemed surprised.

"No, I don't think she's ever been in love." And if you've never been in love, you can't know what it's like. Of course Chiyako would carry on with any number of men, she just thought of them all as friends. When she finally fell in love, the way Rumi had fallen in love with Jin, then she wouldn't go to such lengths to attract men.

Jin. Even when he was a jerk, Rumi still knew that she loved him. Growing up together, they had been best friends, completely inseparable And then he had spent a summer break visiting relatives. Without Jin around, she felt empty and only half alive. When he returned he told her he had felt the same. It was then that they pledged their love and started dating. She felt a smile creep onto her features. Drat, she wanted to stay mad at him some more. 

Rumi became aware that her companion was speaking, and forced herself to return to the present conversation.

". . . Namuki-san seems so worldly, I would have thought that she . . ." Matsuura looked even more seriously, "Do you think she might want to date me?"

Rumi gave this some thought. There was no worse thing a person could do than give bad advise. Part of her wanted to assure Matsuura that her roommate would love to date him. But it was a cruel thing to get his hopes up now only to have them dashed later. Right, honesty was the best policy.

"I can't answer that. The only way to know is to ask." 

The other nodded. It wasn't the answer he was hoping to get. Rumi found herself wanting desperately to cheer him up.

"Hey, I know. I'll ask her for you. I'll see if she's interested."

It was as if a weight had been lifted, Matsuura even seemed to get taller. "Would you? I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure, no problem." It really shouldn't be, Rumi rationalized to herself. It might even be the best way. Rumi knew if she wasn't dating and a guy asked her out, she'd probably say yes just so she wouldn't hurt his feelings. This way, Matsuura would know for sure.

"Listen," said Matsuura, getting up, "I have another class now. Can I pay for your breakfast?"

"Oh, I couldn't-"

"No, I insist. You're doing me a great service." He went the lightest shade of pink and Rumi wondered if he was blushing or if it was only the light, "Look, if Namuki-san isn't interested, that's okay. I'm very glad to have met both you and Koishikawa-san, we should get together and do stuff regardless. Okay?"

"Sure, absolutely." She smiled as Matsuura left. What a nice fellow. It would be just perfect if Chiyako was interested. She finished her breakfast imaging all sorts of futures. They weren't serious, just frivolous little stories to amuse herself. Still, wouldn't it be something to have a double wedding?

When Rumi got home she was pleased to see that Chiyako was up, although still in her bed clothes. 

"I've decided to skip all my classes today." she announced happily. "You want to go shopping?"

"I still have physics," Rumi said apologetically.

"What, didn't you take that in high school? Come on, college is all about avoiding work."

Only for non-science majors, thought Rumi, but she wanted to spend some time with her roommate and so she said "Okay, besides I couldn't concentrate in class anyway."

"Why's that?"

Rumi sighed. "Jin and I had a fight last night."

"A fight?" Chiyako sat up, alert. "You didn't break up or anything."

"Oh no!" Rumi assured Chiyako and noticed the other's shoulders relax a bit, "It wasn't a big fight or anything. But I was mad. Shopping is just what I need."

"Great. Listen, I think we should get you some new clothes. I was looking through your closet and couldn't find a thing to borrow.

"Not at all?" Rumi realized that her wardrobe wasn't quite as stylish as Chiyako's but she didn't think it was quite that bad.

"Nope." Chiyako was getting dressed, which mostly involved holding outfits up, snorting at them, and throwing them down on the bed. "You're stuff isn't bad, but it's so quiet. I think with just a few flashier pieces you could really stand out. In a positive way I mean. I know you already have a boyfriend, but it's still fun to have guys heads turn when you walk by."

Chiyako was both insulting and complimenting her. It left Rumi feeling mostly flattered, but still a bit offended. "Well, that sounds okay. I guess."

Her roommate had finally deemed a shirt appropriate, and pulled it over her head. She continued on in an enthusiastic manner. "And if you want, I was thinking that we should get you a makeover, and maybe a haircut and a perm. Oh, yah, and we should get you contacts, those glasses hide your eyes too much."

Rumi looked in the mirror, trying to imagine herself. "How about if we start with the clothes, and I'll think about the rest."

"You don't trust me, do you?" Rumi blushed embarrassed, and Chiyako continued dramatically, "I'll have you know, that I have read hundreds of magazine articles on makeovers. I went though a period in my high school days when I made myself over every week. Excuse me, I need the mirror for my make up."

Moving out of the way, Rumi asked doubtfully, "You didn't really, did you?"

Chiyako was puckering her lips to apply lipstick and simply nodded. Rumi watched carefully. She had been forbidden to wear makeup until after high school graduation. Over the spring break she had experimented, but the results hadn't pleased her. Maybe she would let Chiyako give her a make over, eventually. 

"There was a time when I couldn't remember what my real hair color was. I had to wait a month so I could see the roots." Her face finished to her satisfaction, Chiyako gave one last look in the mirror and said, "Well, shall we shop till we drop?"

It was precisely what they did. Chiyako turned out to be an excellent bargain shopper and in the end, Rumi was surprised by how little they paid. The downside was that they were completely worn out from the hunt. They relaxed in a coffee shop.

It had been a great day, and Rumi felt comfortable enough to ask the question that had been on the tip of her tongue since she got home. 

"So Chiyako." Chiyako looked up, "I was wondering what you thought of Matsuura-san?"

"Matsuura-san?" she got a distant look on her face and Rumi started to get nervous. Maybe Matsuura had left no impression on her at all. "Oh, Youji-kun! The cute mathematical tennis player! What about him?"

Taking a deep breath, Rumi blurted out, "Well, I think he likes you, and I was wonder if you'd ever consider going out with him."

"Sure."

Rumi was taken aback. She had been certain she'd have to do some convincing to get the other to consider the possibility.

"I was planning on asking him out myself. I've always liked dating smart guys. Besides, Matsuura-san's family is pretty well off, you never go wrong by getting the rich ones to take you out."

Rumi gave a tight smile. The reasons Chiyako was giving seemed awfully superficial. And if anything, gave support to what Jin had been asserting the previous night. But he had to be wrong. Chiyako wasn't really that shallow, she just sounded like it. 

Like the whole business with the clothes this morning. Rumi had worried that Chiyako would pressure her into buying all sorts of things. But in the end, her roommate had been quite consciencious of both Rumi's taste and expense allowance. They had only purchased items that Rumi really liked and felt comfortable with. In the case of a more expensive sweater, Chiyako had bought it herself, assuring Rumi that she could wear it whenever she wanted.

It was just Chiyako's way of speaking that made her seem petty, nothing more. Her actual character was truly good. Of course, Jin would have only seen the superficial stuff, that's why he'd jumped to his inaccurate conclusions. When he got to know Chiyako better, he'd see just how off base he was.

"You know, I think I'll ask Youji-kun out this Friday. And you need to make up with your boyfriend. We can go out, the four of us. Wouldn't want all these outfits to go to waste."

*******

Jin took a quick look about the table. Rumi sat to his right, across from him sat Chiyako, and on her left, facing Rumi, sat Matsura. For about the tenth time that evening the thought to himself, I shouldn't be having this much fun.

He had been apprehensive about this evening. No, that was an understatement. He had been dreading this evening for the entire week. If it had been up to him alone, he would never have agreed to go on a double date with this lot.

Under normal circumstances, he would have just told Rumi no. Unfortunately, he was not allowed to act like a jerk when he was apologizing for being one. Rumi had not been nearly so mad at him as he expected. Jin would have liked to think that it was due to the lovely roses he brought, but he soon found that Rumi had been hatching a plan, and he was an integral part of it.

"I think a date this Friday would be super. Let's double date with Chiyako, she knows just the place. How does Italian cuisine sound?"

"I was thinking just the two of us — " 

"Oh no, this is an apology date, so I get to set the rules. Besides, I think you'd be interested to know who Chiyako's date will be."

"You're obviously going to tell me." Jin was interested despite himself.

"Hmmpf, I should just make you wait until you pick us up. But I can't keep a secret like that from you. It's Matsuura-san." Rumi's face lit up like she'd just received a present.

Jin wasn't terribly impressed, "Does Namuki-san know about this?" He asked drolly.

Rumi's answer was just as deadpan, "I should think so, after all, she was the one who asked him out." Rumi went back to excited sunshine mode, "See, you were wrong about Chiyako. Which is another reason to go on a double date. You owe Chiyako an apology, or you would if she knew what you said about her. Don't worry she doesn't. So Friday at 7:00, the reservations are for 7:30, and it's close, so we should have plenty of time to get there. Oh and I love the flowers, yellow is my favorite color."

Jin said nothing, aloud that is. Mentally he said: Just because your roommate has conceded to date Matsuura does not mean she has any intention of starting a serious relationship. In fact, it would probably hurt the guy a lot more to get officially dumped, or worse, linger on thinking he has a chance, than if he never dated her in the first place. 

But if Rumi were to take his opinions seriously, he'd have to tell her of his first meeting with Namuki. Which was something that he had promised not reveal, and he just couldn't bring himself to break that promise. So he remained silent, feeling guilty for what he was sure would transpire.

But it hadn't. From the very beginning the date had gone well. And it was mostly due to Namuki.

"Okay, first we break the ice." she announced as she and Rumi came down to meet them. "I'm calling you Youji-kun and I'm calling you Jin-kun, otherwise this will feel too much like a business dinner. Got it? Now, compliment your dates, we worked quite a while to get ourselves looking this good."

"You," Matsuura-san replied on cue, "You both, look great."

"Absolutely." agreed Jin. And they really did. Chiyako could have stepped off the cover of a magazine and Rumi. . . Rumi always looked pretty, but tonight she looked different. More grown-up. Her hair was undone, held back with a hair band. And she was wearing a skirt blazer combination that he hadn't seen before. 

The evening proceeded smoothly after that. The restaurant was quite charming and the food was excellent, although Jin wasn't sure if Tempura pizza was classic Italian. 

Afterwards Rumi proposed a walk, to get rid of all the extra calories, and so they had headed off for the park, the large one where the picnic had been held. At this point, the two couples drifted apart. Rumi and he, lagging just far enough behind to be out of earshot.

"Well, did you think the evening would go this well?" Asked Rumi in a semi-whisper.

Jin smiled and shook his head, "Not in a million years."

"I told you." she said smugly, "I didn't think it would go this well either, actually. But I think those two are really hitting it off, don't you?."

"Could be."

"Did Matsuura-kun say anything when you went to the washroom?"

"Rumi," Jin pursed his lips, "Men do not used the bathroom at a pretense for conversations. We didn't discuss anything."

"What a waste. Chiyako said she's having an absolutely great time. She says none of the college boys she dated before were as witty and intelligent as Matsuura-kun."

"When was she dating college guys before?"

"When she was in high school. Really Jin, not everyone's boring, like us."

"I like boring."

"Me too." said Rumi, laughing.

Eventually the two groups rejoined. It's a perfect balance of personalities, us four, Jin thought. Chiyako's the worldly one, Matsuura's the one with the quick wit, Rumi's the mischievous one, and I'm the all around nice guy. Well maybe not. 

Overall it was one of the most pleasant evenings of his life. He was sorry to see it end.

*******

"No, not that rose, the one next to it, please." 

"Oh," said the flower lady, "You want the big one."

"Yes." replied Youji sheepishly.

"Well," the woman smiled kindly at him, "It's the prettiest. I'm sure the recipient will be very pleased."

"I hope so."

Youji paid for the wrapped flower and started for Chiyako's place. He hoped this wasn't too forward. Girls liked to get flowers, and well, he wanted Chiyako to know he was serious about her. 

Last night had been incredible. Everything had just clicked. There were no awkward pauses, no one had been left out. They were all well matched. And more than that, he felt he had hit it off with Chiyako.

She was, as he had told his sister a week ago, soo cool. So stylish and poised. Whereas Yamashita-kun would break into giggles, Chiyako-kun could convey her ammusement in a grin. 

He had to keep himself from sprinting. As he rounded the corner he could see another fellow with flowers. Must be that kind of day, he decided. The guy looked familiar. Where had he seen him before? While he was pondering this, Chiyako came out of the building. What luck, he had just caught her. Youji was opening his mouth to call to her, when the other guy presented his flowers to Chiyako. She took them, smiling and the guy pointed to the car standing by the curb.

Silently, Youji watched as he opened the door for her and then got in his side. As the car pulled away, he noticed the bumper sticker for the Tennis circle from the previous year. 

He knew where he'd seen the fellow. At the picnic, and at the meeting earlier. It was the Circle president, Hirokazu Nibashi. He looked to the wrapped flower in his had. _Well, I've got to be the world's biggest idiot. _

There was a bus stop bench nearby, and he sat down. But she had said she was having the best night. She said she really liked being with me. We made plans to get together by ourselves this week.

Maybe she had made the other date previously and was committed. Who was he kidding. More likely she just tells every guy those lines, said a nasty voice inside him. He searched his vocabulary for a nasty word, none of the Japanese ones seem good enough, so he resorted to his English. What was the word? "Duck." he said under his breath, it sounded slightly wrong, but it made him feel better, "Duck. Duck. Duck."

"Youji-kun?" a voice behind him said.

He jumped up, spinning about to find Yamashita-kun looking carefully at him. 

She smiled. "What's that? Flowers for Chiyako? You better hurry, I think she was going to run errands today."

"I saw her leave already," Youji informed her. Were you in on it too, were you laughing at me as I left?

Rumi looked confused, "But if you saw her leave, why didn't you give her the. .."

Her face scrunched up, concerned. "Would you like to wait for her?"

"That won't be necessary."

Rumi's voice became soft, "What's going on, Matsuura-kun?"

He didn't want to say anything. Part of him was screaming for him to just turn around and go home. But another part of him wanted desperately to tell someone. And Yamashita-san seemed genuinely concerned. She obviously didn't know where Chiyako had gone. He took a breath and said:

"I saw her get into a car with the president of the tennis circle. I think. . . I'm sure, they were going on a date."

A look of horror passed across Rumi's face. She looked up at the apartment building, and back again at Youji. Behind her glasses, her eyes looked terribly sympathetic. "Oh, Matsuura-san. I'm sorry," she repeated it in a whisper, "I'm sorry."

Youji tried to laugh, to keep his voice upbeat, "Does she do this a lot?"

Rumi could only look at the ground. "Matsuura-kun," she said, her voice more serious than he had heard before, "I don't know why she did this. But I will find out."

"You don't need to. . ."

Yamashita-kun shook her head, refusing his offer. "No, I'll find out. And I'll give her your flower."

*******

It was a very disgruntled Chiyako who returned to her apartment a few hours later. Well that was a wasted afternoon, at least it was a nice meal. 

When that Hirokazu had invited her out on Wednesday she had been wonderfully pleased. He was a fourth year student, and had already been accepted at a large company. Furthermore, he was also an advertising major, and Chiyako was hoping he could give her some contacts.

The date had started quite well. The flowers she still held in her hands were pretty, even if they were only tulips. He had been charming, and they had found they had very similar personalities. He had even commented that she reminded him of himself, his first year. She had thought that meant he wanted a relationship, which was why his next comment threw her for a loop.

"So, tell me about your roommate, Yamashita Rumi?"

"What? Why do want to know about her?"

"Well," he actually had the nerve to blush at this point, "She seems really sweet. Is she dating anyone seriously?"

Chiyako's mouth fell open and in a voice not nearly as sophisticated as she wished she said, "Excuse me, but aren't we out on a date?"

He laughed uncomfortably, "Namuki-san, I'm sorry. I. . .well the truth is, if I were a year younger I'd be more than pleased to date you. Unfortunately, I'm graduating, and my family is expecting me to marry. I don't think your ready to settle down yet, are you?"

"No, of course not."

"That's what I thought. But your roommate, Yamashita-san, she's not from a big city and I was thinking that she might be more agreeable to such a suggestion. Besides, my mother is quite picky when it comes to future in-laws. She actually did some background checking, and Yamashita-san's family turned out highly acceptable. You understand of course. No hurt feelings?"

"None what so ever." she said evenly, although inside she was raging. "As for my roommate, I'm sure you won't have any troubles. She has a boyfriend, but they're not too attached. I'm sure with just a bit of persuasion will take care of it."

She excused herself as soon as it was possible to leave. He offered to drive her home, but she refused. She needed the walk to calm her nerves.

What a loser. Oh well, there were plenty of fish in the sea. Youji-kun for one, or this one guy who lived down the hall. One thing was for certain, she thought as she climbed the stairs to her room, she wouldn't be staying home moping after that guy.

And she already had some plans for Hirokazu-san. Rumi would help her too, this could be fun.

She opened the door to see Rumi looking up at her. "Want some flowers?" Chiyako asked dryly.

Rumi did not smile. "You can put them in the vase, along with your rose."

*******

"Uh, Koishikawa-san." said his roommate in a shadow of a voice, "There's a girl downstairs asking for you. I think she's, like, upset or something. Make all the noise you want, I'm going to be unconscious for the next eight hours." He did a controlled fall onto the futon and appeared to be instantly unconscious. Jin counted. _I last saw him Thursday, did he get any sleep since then?_

Quietly he left the room to see who was his visitor. It was Rumi. She looked a mess. Her nose was running, her eyes were red.

Jin ran to her and she threw herself into his arms and commenced sobbing.

"There, there." he said softly. "It's okay, it's okay."

After a bit, Rumi calmed done. "Sorry," she mumbled into his shirt.

"It's okay," Jin assured her again.

"Chiyako and I, we had a fight." she sniffled, "Can we go to your room, to talk?"

"Umm, actually my roommate chose today to come home. But there's a garden out back which is pretty private. Let's go there, okay?"

She nodded, and they proceeded to the back yard and found a bench. Rumi blew her nose in Jin's proffered hankieand composed herself before beginning her story. She started with her meeting with Matsuura that morning and how she had waited for Chiyako to return to confront her about her second date.

"She wasn't the least bit apologetic. And when I said she shouldn't be leading him on, that she should choose one guy and stick with him, she got nasty. She said I was just a simple country girl and I should stick to simple relationships. And it just got worse from there. Oh, Jin, you were right. She isn't a nice person. She isn't at all what I thought." Rumi broke down completely and Jin held her tightly. 

He tried to appear calm, but inside he was fuming. If only he had said something earlier about Namuki-san's character, neither Rumi nor Matsuura would have been hurt. Why had he let her talk him into silence?

Rumi sniffled and said, "I can't go back. I can't stay there, Jin." horror dawned on her face, "Where am I going to stay tonight? My wallet's back in my room, I need money to rent a hotel room, or-"

"Don't worry about that," Jin assured her.

"But I can't stay with you, especially if your roommate is in!"

"There's a girl across the hall from us. I'll ask her. I'm sure it will be just fine."

"But, I don't have any things, I-"

"I'll go to your apartment. I'll get whatever you need. Don't worry about a thing."

This calmed Rumi down. They sat for while, Rumi telling him more and more of the details, while Jin listened and privately fumed. It had been quite the fight with name calling and accusations. After about an hour, Jin arranged for Rumi's room and headed out to her apartment to collect her necessary personal items. He hadn't mentioned it to Rumi, but he had some things of his own to say to Namuki.

He removed his shoes and went straight to her room. She didn't answer his first knockings. "Namuki-san," he said in a loud voice while knocking again, "It's Koishikawa, I've come to get some of Rumi's things."

This time the door was answered. Namuki didn't look at him, she just returned to her desk and sat down at her chair. Like Rumi earlier, she was a mess. But where Rumi had been a bundle of nerves, ready to burst, Namuki looked like she had burst and now had nothing left to fray. 

He started gathering Rumi's things in a bag. He had planned a few different speeches on the way over, but seeing Namuki like this, he had lost the energy to say anything. In the end, it was she who broke the silence.

"Is she moving out?" she asked flatly.

"Yes, yes she is." 

There was more silence, and then, "I really messed things up royally." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, yes you did." He agreed. He had found all the things Rumi needed. He could leave now. Instead he went to the other chair and sat down, watching Namuki. This wasn't what he expected. He was sure that she would be self-righteous, indignant, and convinced that she had done no wrong. He hadn't expected this at all.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, curious more than anything, at what she would say.

She shrugged and sighed, "Which part? I always act and say stuff without thinking. I always screw up that way. I don't know why. I shouldn't have said those things to Rumi." Chiyako's eyes met his, "I really like her, you know. I didn't mean any of those things I said, not really. I know she doesn't want to see me. It's okay, but, could you tell her I'm sorry?"

"Are you going to tell Matsuura-san your sorry?" Jin's voice held more of an edge than he wanted it to, but Matsuura had been injured by all of this also.

Namuki's eyes narrowed slightly, and in a more controlled voice she said, "I'll apologize to Youji for not being who he thought I was. He's a great guy, and I like him. But, unlike you and Rumi, I don't want a significant other." Her voice became louder, more decisive, "I don't want to be tied down. I don't want to be on an emotional rollercoster and spend my time trying to second guess what someone else wants. I don't want be like my-"

She stopped. Her eyes were wide, staring at him. He looked back at her, saying nothing. After a time, Namuki slumped slightly, not taking her eyes off him, she began speaking, again in her flat voice,

"When my mother has too much to drink, she tells me about him. About the man she fell in love with. She gets all happy at first, telling me about how the sky was bluer, and the birds sang sweeter, and how everything was just wonderful because they were in love. All the stuff they sing about. And they were going to get married and every thing. But then she got pregnant, with me. And he didn't stick around. She waited for him for almost two years, but he never came back. So much for true love, huh?" 

Jin saw her jaw clench, saw her make a fist. It was a different Namuki than he had seen before. And yet, there were aspects of her personality, that he had seen glimpses of, but that he hadn't picked up on earlier. 

"You know," Namuki's voice was almost a whisper, "I've never told anyone this. You don't mind, do you?"

"No," replied Jin quietly. "You don't have to tell me."

"I think I want to."

"Alright then."

Namuki took a few breaths and continued. "She moved away, from her family and his, my father's family. She went to Hiroshima and said she was a widow. And one day, she met another man. He said he loved her, and wanted to marry her. And she told him she wasn't really a widow, and he told her he didn't care. He offered to marry her, to adopt me, to bribe the Family Registry to list himself as my father so no one would ever know. She told him that she didn't love him. He said he still wanted to marry her, and eventually she'd grow to love him.

"So they got married. And that's why my last name is Namuki. Namuki-san's nice to my mother and me. He gets us whatever we want. I call him father because Mother tells me to. And I tell him I love him because Mother tells me to. And she tells him she loves him, and that she's happy.

"Except, when he's away on business trip, she drinks, and then she tells me the truth. Never fall in love. Never give yourself to a man until he gives you his promise in writing. When you get married, be smart. Think with your mind and your stomach. Don't follow your heart.

"She's lying when she says she loves Namuki-san, but she's not lying when she says she's happy. She can be happy because she doesn't love him, because he can't hurt her." 

Shaking now, her teeth chattering, Chiyako stood. Defiantly she spoke,

"I'm going to be smart. I'm not going to get hurt like that. I'll date whoever I want, and if they fall in love with me, then it's not my fault. I'm never going to fall in love. You can't make me fall in love." Chiyako started gasping, the tears ran down her face.

In a single movement, Jin was out of his chair, holding her. At first she tried to resist, tried to struggle. Jin almost let go, confused why he had acted.. But then she stopped wriggling and threw her arms around him. She was sobbing now, like Rumi had done earlier. 

But this was deeper, more primal. Jin held Her for a long time before she became quiet. Still she didn't let go. One of Jin's legs was falling asleep, but he said nothing. What kind of mother tells her daughter not to fall in love? What kind of person can one become if they deny their emotions?

There were sharp needles driving into his leg right now. He'd have to move soon. Jin shifted slightly, and Chiyako looked up, releasing him.

"I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry, Namuki-san. Sit down." He gestured and she sat down. Jin stretched his legs for a few seconds and then pulled his chair over to her.

"I should be the one apologizing. I didn't know."

Chiyako hiccuped, "And I was dropping so many clues." She hiccuped again, maybe it was a giggle. Then more softly she said, "Koishikawa-san, I really have never told anyone this before. I don't know why I told you. Koishi-"

"Jin." he said.

She looked at him. "You can call me Jin. And don't worry. I won't tell anyone." He turned to face her, wanting her to read the earnestness in his eyes. He had looked into her eyes on the first day of class, and they had looked nothing like they did now. Back then they had been flashy and knowing. Now they were red-shot, and wide open.

As he looked at her, unable and unwilling to turn away, she moved slightly, raising her face closer to his. He could feel her breath on his face, hear her heart pounding. Or was that his own? She continued to advance, and now her lips were pressed to his. Their noses touched. Their eyes stared at each other without blinking. They were kissing.

Copyright Kim Smuga-Otto 1999 


	4. Aftermath of a Kiss

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 4: Aftermath of a Kiss

They were kissing. 

Chiyako could hear her heart pounding, could feel the crackle of electricity surge along her spine and out through her extremities. Not a new feeling; she had kissed guys before. But prior experience didn't make the sensation any less thrilling. 

Jin's lips were soft and dry, and, even at this late hour, she caught a whiff of aftershave. Chiyako felt a tingle along her spine. She inhaled his scent, savoring it. All of her senses were focused on this moment. The outside world faded leaving only the two of them, locked in the caress.

And then, after mere seconds that felt like minutes, realization, like a coiled snake, penetrated through to her consciousness. They were kissing.

They were kissing!

Chiyako sprung back, pressing herself into the chair. Her eyes snapped open to see Jin's bewildered face. Never had she felt such embarrassment, such mortification. Unable to continue facing him, she averted her eyes. Now she was looking straight at Rumi's bed. _Even worse._

"Jin-" she started, then stopped, unable to use such implied familiarity. What could she say? "Koishika-" again her voice faltered. Chiyako gritted her teeth, willing herself not to cry. _There's nothing you can say, fool!_

She tried for a moment to disregard his presence, to focus only on herself. It was futile: they were sitting far too close in a room that was far too small. Not trusting her voice, Chiyako stood up, inched away while staring intently at the floor all the time. It almost certainly looked idiotic, but no place in the room felt safe. Her roommates possessions, and even her own, all served to remind her just whom this man belonged to.

"Chi-" Jin began.

It wasn't safe to listen to him either. She couldn't handle that just now. 

Interrupting, she cried out. "I'm sorry, I. . ." once more her mind froze up on her. She racked her brain for something to say, anything at all. _Oh my, look at the time, gotta run_ was all that came to mind. Her eyes strayed back to Jin. He was about to say something.

"Jin." she repeated, if only to stop him. His mouth snapped shut. Chiyako wished vainly for some magic phrase, which if spoken would cancel out what had just happened and twist the whole mess to a happy ending. If only this was a TV program, then she could have a commercial break to figure out what her next line should be.

Jin was still looking at her, waiting. Almost without thinking, Chiyako turned and fled. 

She raced down the stairs two at a time, using the railing to pivot about the corner. In one fluid motion, she caught up her shoes and, still in her slippers, flew through the door. Out on the street, she spun into the first available alleyway. Was he following her? She couldn't risk looking back. Faster and faster she ran, switching roads and alleys at random, hoping her twisted path would deter him from following.

About ten minutes into her escape, Chiyako was completely winded. She could run no further and held on to a fence as she gasped for air. Ignoring the pounding of her own heart and the blood rushing in her ears, Chiyako strained to hear the sounds of someone running after her, of Jin calling her name. _Idiot_, she told herself, _as if he'd want follow anyone like me._

But he's so kind, another part of her protested, he listens, he's nonjudgmental.

As if any of that matters now. What must he think of her?

Her ego continued whipping off self accusations, leaving Chiyako an opportunity to look about her. She was missing a slipper - it must have dropped off during the escape. Her face felt wet. She touched her cheek. Tears? Chiyako became aware that people were staring at her, discretely and in a way that they could pretend not to if she caught their eyes.

She tossed her head, angry. She slid her hurting feet into the sandals she'd been carrying, and deposited the lone slipper in a trash can with as much nonchalance as she could muster. On she strode, a steely look on her face. Recognizing the intersection ahead of her, she turned right, heading for the university park. She needed a quiet place, somewhere she could just stop and think.

She soon found a bench situated by a fountain in front of a playground. The area was thankfully empty at this time of night. Finding comfort in her solitude, Chiyako finally allowed her shoulders to sag.

_What a fool. What an idiot_. What a jerk she'd been! Chiyako forced herself to stop. She could go on like this for the entire night, and it wouldn't change anything. What was important was the present and the future, not the past.

Well, first off, she was definitely going to have to find a new roommate. No way Rumi would forgive kissing her boyfriend. Her mind strayed slightly as a thought struck her. Had she done that to spite Rumi, to hurt her for her "holier than thou art" attitude? Or had she done it to prove to herself that none of the things Rumi had said mattered? That Chiyako didn't need anyone's approval or good will? Hadn't she, by her actions, more than fulfilled Rumi's character accusations?

__

NO! A voice cried within her. If I truly was that rotten, that worthless, would Jin have listened to me, held me like that? 

She found herself replaying the events of the evening in her mind. Jin's attention, his candid responses, his unprejudiced manner when she told him about her mother, the way he held her when she cried. Letting her memories pause there, Chiyako felt herself go warm. She had felt so secure, protected by his arms. 

But lurking beneath those feelings had been powerful desire. Chiyako could no longer deny it, she had been physically attracted to Jin from the first time she caught him watching her in class. Seeing the love between him and her roommate, she had renounced those temptations, or had at least told herself she had. 

But alone in her room with Jin, she had to acknowledge the truth. She wanted to kiss him, wanted to hold him. And knowing it was wrong, that she would regret it, only made her want it more. 

It put her in mind of her sixth grade class trip to the Tokyo tower. Standing at the top, the city stretching out below her, Chiyako had been gripped by wicked, wild fancies. Before they were allowed to enter the elevator, her class had received lengthy speeches from both their tour guide and their own teacher about the dangerous power a coin would have if dropped from the top. It could crack cement, they were told, and if it could crack cement, imagine the appalling effects if it fell have on a person. 

Her teacher looked the each student carefully in the eyes, willing them to accept the great responsibility of keeping their loose change in their pockets. For Chiyako, feeling the breeze from so high up, the risk of censure made contemplating the act more all the more tantalizing. She remembered fingering a 10 Yen coin. All she'd have to do was to give it a toss, and then. Then everything would change.

It wasn't that she wanted to hurt anyone, or even split the pavement. It was just, standing there, she could clearly see two paths diverging from one another, one where she pushed the coin through the protective wire so it could fall to the earth, where she was caught, punished, marked for the rest of her life as a immoral and disobedient girl, and one where she simply got on the elevator and her destiny's path remained unaltered. Here was a chance to change everything, to step out of the confines of her carefully managed world. 

Over the course of her life, she sometimes felt similar impulses, usually in the presence of danger. All those times she had resisted, and the chance would simply pass on and cease to exist.

But tonight, just like that trip to the Tokyo Tower, was different. Back then, the sixth grade Chiyako returned the coin to her bag and walked dutifully to the elevator. But then, at the last possible minute, just as the door began to open, she reached for her new camera, bought especially for the trip, and in the most of natural gestures, flung it over the barrier gate. 

It spun in a lazy arch and would have made a glorious descent all the way to the ground had not the strap caught on a protruding bolt. There the camera hung, clear evidence of her guilt, until a guard rushed over with a pole-mounted hook to retrieve it. 

The whole spectacle had been observed by her teacher, and naturally punishment followed. She was sent home early in disgrace and was forbidden to watch television for a month. They had even made her give a public apology. The young Chiyako dutifully accepted her penalties and suffered all the humiliation that came with them. What she couldn't do, to the infuriation the adults, was to explain why she did what she did.

For all that she wanted to claim credit for the act, it had been unconscious. When temptation was greatest, she had resisted. Her action afterwards had been automatic. It was as if someone else's spirit took command of her body, gratifying desires she knew she couldn't.

Tonight felt the same. She had wanted to kiss Jin so badly when he held her, for any number of reasons: carnal desire, to see his reaction, to prove she could do it, to show everyone that she wasn't just predictable old Chiyako. All these temptations she successfully resisted. And then, when he was comforting her, some part of her had gone and done it anyway. 

Just as with the camera, her action had been witnessed, and this time, somebody had been hurt. She had got her wish: no going back to just being old Chiyako. Things were going to have to change.

Things would change. Strangely, Chiyako felt herself smiling with the relief this thought gave her. She couldn't change the past, but she could work on the future. Good. But as she sat there, nothing came to mind. She stared down at her feet and at the shadows cast by herself and the bench, and at the another shadow besides her own.

Chiyako looked up and around, suddenly alert. Someone stood just a few feet behind her. It was Matsuura Youji.

He was instantly apologetic.

"Namuki-san, I'm sorry to startle you. I usually walk by this way, it's not far from my apartment, and I recognized you. I would have said something, but you seemed so wrapped up in you thoughts, I didn't want to impose." He appeared so flustered that Chiyako's fear began to recede.

"So you were just standing there, watching me." She said, her voice level.

Matsuura now looked even more sheepish, "I'm sorry, but I- Well, I don't think this park is too dangerous, but you never know. I thought, just in case anyone might try to bother you, it might be best if there was a man around. Not that you couldn't have taken care of yourself, but, well. . ."

He ran out of steam, but his explanation did make sense. Matsuura-san was one of those decent guys who would do exactly that. And then Chiyako remembered, Matsuura was the first person she had hurt today, that event setting the stage for all that followed. She suddenly found herself getting embarrassed. He must still be very angry with her. Earlier this evening, she had claimed no responsibility for Matsuura's feelings, but Chiyako didn't have the energy to defend her own actions anymore.

"Matsuura-san," she began, "I'm sorry, about. . " There were so many things she was sorry for. Unable to stop herself, she felt tears starting to well up. _What's the deal with this?_ the tiny impartial part of her brain sneered_, I never cry._

"Namuki-san? Are you okay?" Matsuura said his voice filled with honest concern. 

Chiyako could only trust herself to nod.

"Namuki-san, if it's about this afternoon, don't feel so bad. It was partly my fault. Really, I'm just fine." He gave her a half smile. Why was he being so nice to her?

"It's not- It's just- It's. . ." The whole situation was so silly. The original object of her wrath didn't even seem angry with her. 

Chiyako found herself giggling, then laughing . It mixed with her tears and caused her to start hiccuping. Matsuura's confusion turned to alarm as she hysterically began gulping for air. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her, gently.

"Namuki, Namuki. What's the matter?"

Chiyako could only shake her head while she tried to regain calm. Matsuura released her and sat down next to her on the bench, concern showing on his face. Slowly, the hiccuping subsided. She gathered her thoughts, and began:

"I'm sorry, Matsuura-san. I don't know what happened. You were so concerned about me and it seemed odd. I mean, you should be spitting fire." She looked at his face, free of any complaints, and curiously added, "The day after our date you come to give me flowers only to see me out dating another guy. Aren't you at least miffed?"

"I. . " he shrugged, giving her another one of his sheepish smiles. "At the time I was furious. But then I got to thinking. We just met. You could have made that other date earlier. And if you had, well, it's not something you would have brought up on our date is it?

"But, regardless, I think I was being a bit over-expectant. I mean, you're a beautiful woman. Any guy would want to date you. I was just too enthusiastic after one date. I really feel foolish about it now. " He paused, smiling endearingly. "I'd love to go out with you again, but it's your decision. No harm done, right?"

"Not exactly." Chiyako half laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I got into a fight with Rumi over it, she moved out, Jin came over and I got him mad at me too. Quite the day, don'tcha think?"

Matsuura's eyes turned big as saucers. "We have to do something about this."

Chiyako just shook her head. "Nothing to be done."

"What do you mean, You aren't still mad at them, are you?"

"Of course not," was her reply, and she was pleased to find that she meant it. "But I'm sure they aren't too pleased with me."

"Well, then it's simply a matter of apologizing," Matsuura said in a perfectly self assured voice, "Sure they might be upset now, but I bet they'll forgive you. Koishikawa-san seems reasonable enough, and I know Yamashita-san won't hold a grudge. Especially if I let them know that I'm no longer hurt."

"You're being overly optimistic. It was a bad fight I had with Rumi," Chiyako decided not to even mention what had happened with Jin, "She said some things about me which are actually quite correct. I don't think apologizing will change me in her eyes."

This didn't seem to deter Matsuura-san, "What things?"

Chiyako sighed.

"Well, I was being a two timer. I did lead you on. I've never committed to dating a single guy. I play the field. I'm not serious with a man's feelings. I-"

"Hey," he cut her off, "You shouldn't get serious about someone unless you truly feel something for them. Right?"

"But I've never given any guy a chance. How would I know?" This was not her usual side of the argument, but it had been a strange day. At this very moment, Chiyako found herself unsure of even long held beliefs.

"Well," Matsuura paused, as if giving this last confession deep consideration. Then he barked a quick laugh, "Simple solution. Choose some guy and give him a chance. See if you feel differently after dating him seriously for say, a month or so. Logical experiment, evaluate the results and see if you're right or if Rumi is."

She had to laugh, he was so upbeat.

Nodding enthusiastically, he continued "So now you only have to pick the test subject. How about Hirokazu-san?"

"Most definitely not. One date with him was more than enough." Chiyako gave Matsuura a sideways glance, and on impulse proposed, "How about you?"

"Me?" He flinched back. "I- Look, Namuki-san, you don't have to. You don't have to take pity on me. I'm fully recovered."

"I'm not taking pity on you." She now looked him straight in the eyes, "I like spending time with you, honest. Besides, you're the one who proposed the experiment."

Matsuura dropped his eyes and seemed to consider this. When he looked up, he regained some of his customary self-confidence.

"All right. One month, and we'll see how this works out. But I have one condition."

"Name it," she commanded.

"See if you can make up with Yamashita-san and Koishikawa-san."

"I don't think-" Chiyako began.

He waved her objection off dismiss, "Just try, that's all I ask. Start with Yamashita-san. If you can convince her, then Koishikawa-san will be no problem."

Chiyako nodded agreement, stifling a clamor of internal protests. It was unlikely that the arrangement would work, but Matsuura looked so positive, and she had been miserable for enough of the day. 

He offered to walk her home, and along the way he talked of everything but Rumi and Jin. Matsuura-san was polite, witty, and nicer than most guys she could remember, certainly better than that Hirokazu creep. And Unlike Rumi and Koishikawa, he didn't seem to hold her to some lofty standards. It felt nice to be accepted and not to be measured by provincial, old fashioned requirements. 

With Matsuura she could be herself. No, that wasn't correct. With Matsuura she could be the sophisticated, cosmopolitan woman she wanted to project herself as. Maybe she did want a steady boyfriend. It often felt lonely here at University. Maybe that's why she'd made the pass at Jin, because as much as she scoffed at Rumi for being tied down to one person, there was a safety in that. 

With Matsuura she could become the person she wanted to be.

******

It had been raining when Jin woke up Monday morning. It wasn't a hard rain, almost not worth bringing an umbrella to class. He was glad that he had, the sky had remained dismal and the rain continued to fall, never harder than a light drizzle, but always constantly there. 

In a perverse way, Jin was glad for it. Its slow, dreary and yet continuous pace dulled his senses allowing him to go through the day pretty much on autopilot. Jin's feelings were a tangled mess, and he was glad for anything that allowed him to ignore them. 

He sat in the entryway of his apartment, removing his shoes. Soon he'd have to see Rumi, and it caused his stomach to turn with discomfort. They had met briefly on Sunday, but she had a lab report due this week which kept her at the library most of the day. He took a deep breath, he couldn't put this off any longer. 

Well, maybe a bit longer, he pleaded with himself, standing in front of his neighbor's door. No, he had to do this. He hadn't said anything about his first experience with Chiyako and it and slowly snowballed into this whole mess. This latest incident was far more serious, he had to tell Rumi. She had a right to know. More than anything, he hated the thought of manipulating her.

With that, he knocked on the door once, and then again, more forcefully.

"In a second." a female voice sang out from inside. 

A moment passed, and then the door was opened to reveal a small young woman. She was wearing a freshly paint splattered smock and had her hair pulled back it an unmannered ponytail.

Seeing Jin, she gave him an open smile,"Hey, Matsuura-san. Looking for Yamashita-kun?" she asked in a low throaty voice

When he nodded, she smiled more, eyes twinkling mischievously. "You, my dear friend, are bound for great disappointment. She is not currently in residence, having returned to her former place of abode to gather some possessions. Shall I alert her of your erstwhile search?"

"That would be most kindly appreciated ." replied Jin, matching her formality. Fukutani Yayoi was one of the strangest people he had met at college. She explained her weirdness was a byproduct of being a sixth year theater/art major, with no intention of graduating until her parents forced her to.

"Ooo Kay." she used English, pronouncing each syllable separately and gave him a wink as he left.

Fukutami's style was similar to Namuki's in that they both reveled in behaving in modern, nontraditional ways. But Fukutami's antics were just humorous, whereas Namuki's made him uneasy and uncomfortable. Why did Namuki's forwardness and brashness have such an effect on him? Possibly it was because he'd seen such a different side of her that night. He had seen her outward self-confidence crumble like a facade, revealing a vulnerable and easily hurt woman. It had surprised him, seeing that hidden Chiyako, so fragile and unsure. Maybe his actions had confused her, maybe he'd somehow been at fault.

No, he shook his head. He had not initiated the kiss. But he hadn't done anything to stop it either. And then she had run out, giving no explanation. Damnit, she owed him that much, at least.

Which one was real - Namuki, brazen and self-righteous, or Chiyako, unprotected and alone? Had she really needed a friend that night, or was he being made a fool of?

His uncertainty was why he'd been reluctant to talk to Rumi about the incident the whole weekend. Well, he wouldn't put it off any longer. Tonight he'd tell her the whole story. 

He entered his room and stared out the window. There was a puddle along the rim. He wiped it off, and was about to leave to inform the landlord with a voice emerged from the lump of bed covers which he had assumed to be an unmade bed.

"Koishikawa-san," it rumbled, "There's a letter for you, on the table. Wake me at 4:00 will you."

Jin glanced at his watch, "It's already 4:15."

"Whatttt!!!" From underneath the covers, a figure emerged fully clothed, and moved like lightning for the door, "Oh no, the movie starts at 7:30."

"But wait," said Jin in a puzzle voice, "you can walk to the theater in no time. What's the rush."

"Premiere man, premiere." and that was all Jin heard as his roommate rushed out the door.

Sighing, Jin sat down and looked at the letter, it looked like a female's hand, but it wasn't Rumi's. Curiosity mixed with dread filled him as he slit it open and unfolded it. He scanned it once and then read it more carefully a second time:

Dear Koishikawa-san,

I am writing to apologize for my actions on Saturday night. There was no excuse and so I won't try to give one. Furthermore, I do not ask for your forgiveness as I do not deserve it.

All I ask is that you allow me to try to change myself. I've talked to Matsuura-san and we have decided to start dating seriously. I'm not sure how well this will work out, but I have been honest with my feelings with him and will continue to be so. 

I have also resolved to ask Rumi to forgive me and to come back and be my roommate. I am doing this because I honestly like her and like being around her, and not in any hopes of pursuing you. 

You must believe me in this. I believe in the strength and steadfastness of your love for each other and will not try to end that. If you choose to avoid me, I will understand completely.

Finally, let me thank you for your support on Saturday night. Knowing your kindness makes me both more ashamed of my actions and more determined to be a better person.

Namuki Chiyako

While reading the note for the third time, the phone rang. Picking it up absentmindedly, Jin said,

"Hello, This is Koishikawa."

"Jin, it's Rumi," said an excited voice on the other end, "Sorry I stood you up last night, but I found out I had totally skipped a section on the report. As of this morning it is completely done and turned it." 

"That's great." he said, his eyes still on the letter.

"How was your evening?" she asked coyly. "You told me you might spend it getting to know your roommate better."

"Well," replied Jin as tactfully as possibly, "There was definitely a cultural exchange going on. I told him about growing up in the country and what we really thought of tourists. And he explained the difference between a Gundam something and a Gundam something or other. I forget, but it seemed quite important at the time."

"I'm sure."

"Hey, where are calling from anyway? Are you at Fukutami-san's?"

"Actually, no, I'm at my apartment. You're not going to believe it, but I've decided to move back in with Chiyako."

"Really?" was all he could think to say.

Rumi's voice did not go defensive, but it did quiet down a bit. "I know this seems out of the blue. But I really have thought it through. We both have, actually. Chiyako and I had a long talk today, a real talk. She told me quite a few things about herself, and I think I understand her better now. I'm not saying that we won't have any more problems, but I think we can make this thing work."

For his part Jin, was silent. His mind was still pondering the letter, and now there was Rumi's news to contend with. He didn't trust himself to speak. Rumi sighed and said;

"This is something I have to do for myself as well, Jin, and it's something I want to do. Even if I get hurt, learning to live with a stranger is a valuable skill. I can't give up after a single fight. You see that, don't you?" there was a pleading edge to her voice that told Jin she wasn't as sure as her words made her out to be. One word from him would stop her, would cause her to break any contact with Chiyako.

But Jin knew that if he did that, it wouldn't be for Rumi's sake, but his own. He didn't have the right to force Rumi into moving all her things and finding a new roommate because of his mistake. 

"I do, Rumi. I think you're right to give it another chance."

"Really, you honestly mean that?" He could hear the relief in Rumi's voice.

"Yes, yes I do." Despite all logic, Jin found he was being completely truthful. They talked for a bit more, and then signed off.

After returning the phone to the receiver, Jin returned his attention to the letter. He read it again. Heaven help him, but he actually believed Chiyako, which didn't make any sense. She had given him every reason to distrust her. If she was truly as manipulative and he had previously suspected, then this would be precisely the letter that she would write.

Maybe his desire to trust her was too strong. But the other night, he was so sure that she had opened up to him and he wanted to believe that beneath the cool and sophisticated shell, was a Chiyako like the one he had seen.

_Believe if you like_, he told himself, _but don't go near her_. With that he had to agree completely. He owed it to Rumi. Above all, he would not hurt Rumi.

The rest of the evening was spent finishing work he had planned to do that weekend. It went okay, but somewhere in the back of his mind, something was nagging him. He had almost gotten to sleep when it finally occurred to him - He hadn't told Rumi about Saturday night.

_Idiot!_ But how could he tell her now? He should have told her on the phone. But he had told her to go ahead and move back in. What would she think of him then? And whatever Namuki had told her, it couldn't have been the whole truth. So which parts had Chiyako left out?

Jin was fully awake now and knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep for some time. Well, now more than ever, he'd have to be sure to stay away from Namuki. Of that much, he was certain.

copyright Kim Smuga-Otto 1999 


	5. The Tennis Captain Makes His Move

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 5: The Tennis Captain Makes His Move

Rumi studied herself in the mirror. An experimental pirouette confirmed her suspicions. The team tennis skirt was short. Terribly short. She made a mental note not to bend over to pick up tennis balls. And serves, nothing too energetic until she purchased some of those gym shorts she saw the other girls in the locker room wearing.

Her mother would be scandalized, or at least Rumi hoped she might be. Growing up, Rumi had always longed after the fashionable clothes of her school friends, but her parents had insisted that she dress "modestly" until she graduated. Actually it was quite weird the way they changed their tone recently. The night before the ceremony she was still their little girl, and the day after she became the unmarried daughter, which in their minds was not an altogether appropriate state. 

The hints were becoming less and less subtle. Mother had started sending clippings from classmate's weddings, underlining details so Rumi could start planning. 

She had made light of it to Jin, but deep down it worried her. No matter how much she loved Jin, Rumi wanted to get married because it was right for her, not because it was what her parents wanted. Back home, she'd felt like her life wasn't on her own. It was part of the reason she had chosen a college far from home, so she could become someone on her own. One thing was certain, she was becoming someone who looked damn good in a tennis outfit. Now if only she could play better.

It was just her luck that for her first match she'd be scheduled to play against the captain of the tennis team, and not even in doubles. But it wasn't something she could contest, her being a freshman and all.

Walking onto the court, it wasn't hard to pick out her opponent. The best word to describe Hirokazu Nibashi was dashing. Almost six feet tall with incredible eyes, he reminded Rumi of a movie star she'd had a crush on in middle school. Whenever he smiled, he sparkled.

As if on cue, Hirokazu turned and graced her with one of those smiles. Rumi froze, fighting the urge to return to the locker room. _Don't be a silly fool_, she chastised herself, _it's not like you didn't know who he was_. 

It was unjustified, but deep down, Rumi blamed the tennis captain for the horrible events of two weeks ago. Logically she knew Chiyako had accepted the date with him of her own free will, that Matsuura-kun had just accidentally seen them leave together, and that everything that followed had nothing to do with Hirokazu at all. _Still_, whispered a voice, _that date was the catalyst_. Without it, the chain reaction of temper clashes would never have come out. 

No, Rumi knew that to be false. Their personalities and false expectations had all the characteristics of an exothermic reaction with its starting products destined to break down. Although it might have been more gradual, less violent.

As it was, things had pretty much worked themselves out. Chiyako and Matsuura seemed to be getting along well. And Rumi felt she and her roommate were becoming real friends. There hadn't been any more double dates; Jin kept making excuses, but otherwise things were going great.

She shouldn't worry about Hirokazu; it wasn't like Chiyako had any intention of dating him again. Chiyako had made that perfectly clear, although she hadn't wanted to discuss the particulars of the date.

So Rumi should just treat this as a normal match against a normal opponent. One that she was going to lose, big time. Oh, why couldn't play as well as her looked?

With trepidation, Rumi walked out to meet her opponent.

"Yamashita-san." he acknowledged her warmly, "Good to see you. I've been looking forward to this match."

Rumi returned his bow and found herself blushing. "You might not think that after the game, Hirokazu-san. I'm not terribly good at tennis."

"Oh, I'm sure you're being modest." He looked her squarely in the eyes as he assured her, and she had to fight the impulse to agree with him. It reminded her of her father's earnest stare. It would be so easy, so familiar, to just agree with him. So contrary to what she wanted. Steeling herself, she replied:

"Actually, no. I'm really quite a poor tennis player. I know the rules, but I can't even serve overhand. I'm sorry, I fear that I shall be no challenge for you except in the matter of patience."

There, she had said it. The ball was in his court, so to speak.

She watched as Hirokazu's face became puzzled, but then it took on the its former decisiveness.

"Well, you know, we don't have to do a real match. Let's just practice on your technique."

"Oh, I couldn't. To ask you to do such a thing, No, it's too much bother."

The upperclassman smiled gently, "It's not a bother at all. I've done a lot of instructing, I enjoy it quite a bit. The reason I'm president of the circle is I like getting others into the sport."

He seemed so sincere that Rumi found herself relaxing. No pressure to perform, and no feeling frustrated when she did poorly. She might even learn something.

Hirokazu turned out to be an excellent instructor, pointing things out to Rumi that she hadn't even known she'd been doing wrong. They spent almost a half-hour on her serve alone. Then they moved on to her backhand, which Rumi had always been uncomfortable with. Ten minutes to the end of scheduled time, they actually volleyed the ball back and forth. The president was being quite reserved in his style, but regardless, Rumi knew she had improved.

"I owe it all to you," she told him honestly when he complimented her afterwards. "I really don't know how to thank you."

"The pleasure was mine, Yamashita-san." he assured her, "But if you want to repay me, I know a delightful restaurant nearby. Would you care to join me?"

Rumi froze. A date?! She could feel her cheeks flushing as she tried to compose her thoughts. First he asks Chiyako out, and now her. Was his goal to date the entire freshman class?

Tossing her head, she let her voice take on a most arrogant tone, "We just met, I don't think that's appropriate. I don't know the first thing about you." _Except that Chiyako flushed your roses down the toilet, not a good sign._

He seemed taken aback. "I thought this might be a good way for us to become better acquainted."

The gall! "I'm afraid you were mistaken then. While I appreciate all the help you've given me, I already have a boyfriend. I believe in dating only one person at a time." 

Rumi added extra emphasis to the last statement. Maybe he'll get the hint. But when she turned to give him a meaningful glance, she found Hirokazu grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What?" she asked. Had her words accidentally implied some lewd innuendo? She'd be so embarrassed if they had.

"Oh nothing. Nothing at all." his eyebrows raised slightly and his eyes dropped momentarily. Rumi found herself wishing for a much longer skirt. He continued, "It's just that you have more energy than I had expected, Yamashita-san. It's a good thing really. I like girls with spirit."

"Did you hear anything I said?"

"Oh, absolutely. You're going to be a challenge. I adore challenges."

He bowed , never dropping his eyes, spun about quickly, and left the court. Rumi watched him go, and under her breath whispered, "Sicko."

She continued to feel disgusted with him while she took a shower. She cooled down a bit as she changed into street gear. Now she found herself being merely flabbergasted by his audacity and cluelessness. The more she thought about it, the more ludicrous the situation became. 

It was rather amusing. Hirokazu had been dumped by Chiyako and now he was trying to date her roommate, who was in a serious relationship. The poor guy probably had no idea what a fool he'd seemed. Well, she wasn't about to feel too sorry for him. If she found it humorous, she couldn't wait to tell Jin.

"You just won't believe what happened to me!" Rumi announced as she sat down across from Jin. The restaurant was crowded and Rumi was happy to see that Jin had already found a table. 

He looked up from his menu and smiled, "You won your match?"

"Of course not, you know how badly I play."

"Well, you said I wouldn't believe you." he teased her.

She attempted to give him a withering look. 

"You know who my opponent was, don't you? Captain Hirokazu-sempi, the one who went out with Chiyako?"

Rumi noticed Jin suppress a flinch at Chiyako's name. Something had happened the night Jin had gone to collect her things. Rumi suspected that Jin had lost his temper and said things he was now ashamed of. Chiyako had been mum on the subject as well, and Rumi, hoping it would blow over, hadn't forced the issue.

Rumi continued her monologue:

"We didn't actually play a game, it was more of a lesson. Hirokazu was behaving perfectly appropriately, until the end. And then he asked me out! Can you believe it, what a playboy!"

"What did you say?" asked Jin in a serious voice.

Rumi looked inquisitively at him. During the pause a waitress started to approach the table. On a wicked impulse, Rumi leaned forward and in a loud whisper said:

"I said I'd love to and kissed him passionately."

The waitress beelined away from the table and Rumi sat back, smiling.

"You're right," she giggled motioning at the retreating waitress, "I've caught CIS, Chiyako Impulsiveness Syndrome. What really happened was I told him I already had a wonderful boyfriend and turned Hirokazu-sempai down. I was rather angry at the time, but in a way he paid me a compliment. And you too, you're dating a highly sought after woman. Bet you didn't know that."

Rumi scanned the restaurant looking for the waitress she'd scared off. Maybe it hadn't been the best whim to indulge in. Jin was giving her a curious look, making Rumi uncomfortable.

"What is it?" she asked, "You aren't jealous are you?"

"Of course not," he avoided her eyes by returning to his menu.

Jin was impossible to read at times like this. Something was obviously bothering him, but what? It could be that he disliked Rumi's making fun of Hirokazu, or maybe he was angry at the forwardness of the tennis coach. It could even be, Rumi thought with hidden glee, that he's worried about losing her as a girlfriend. 

With such a host of possibilities, Rumi began a soothing ramble, all the while trying to signal down the waitress. She was finding herself quite hungry by this point.

"It's nothing to get upset about, Jin. He didn't know I was dating anyone, well, actually when I pointed that out he said he didn't care. Really it reflects badly on him, but then he doesn't know anything about our relationship, I suppose he thinks it's just an old high school thing. Anyway," she paused to try to wave down their waitress, failed and tried to regain the train of though. 

Jin was drumming his fingers, a sure sign something was on his mind. Still he didn't seem to want to say anything, so Rumi continued:

"It isn't anything to worry about, my telling you about it more than proves it. Now say Hirokazu-san had asked me out and I had never told you. That would indicate that I felt guilty in my subconscious, and that some part of me was attracted to him. And that would be a bad sign. The fact that we can laugh about it over lunch means we have a strong, honest relationship that will last. Right?"

Reluctantly, Jin raised his eyes. He wasn't smiling. He swallowed, obviously about to say something important. And as if on cue, the waitress appeared to take their order.

There was a moment's pause, and Rumi wondered if Jin was going to send her away. But in the end he ordered, as did Rumi. It was beef bowls for both of them, cheap and fast, the best student food.

When the waitress left, Jin seemed even more flustered, and stared out the window. 

Rumi signed. Once again, their date had deteriorated and a sense of discomfort had crept in. What had happened to the ease that had always existed between them? It irritated her that what was supposed to be an amusing incident had escalated to this.

"Look Jin," she tried again, "I'm not as good looking as Chiyako, but I'm not bad looking. A lot of guys are looking for girlfriends or even wives, and there's more men at this university then women. Chances are I'm going to get passes made at me, just like I'm sure some women have their eyes on you. You're just going to have to trust me like I trust you, okay?"

"Two beef bowls," announced the waitress.

"Oh thank goodness," cried out Rumi, "You wouldn't believe how hungry I am!"

Jin forgotten, Rumi plunged into her meal.

"Rumi," said Jin, "you're right."

"Of course I am," she agreed between mouthfuls, "What about?"

"You are quite attractive, and there's a lot of guys who would be thrilled to date a girl like you."

Jin took a deep breath and Rumi self-consciously slurped her noodles while she waited.

"Some of them are probably much better than me."

"Jin, what are you saying?"

"Rumi, I'm not sure I'm the best person for you. I think you can do better."

Rumi simply shook her head, unsure what she was hearing.

"Rumi," said Jin, his voice very quiet, deadly serious, "I need you to listen to me. There's something I need to say."

******

Chiyako was in bouncy mood on her way home. Over the weekend, the rain which had been constant throughout most of May, and worn itself out and allowed the sun to show through the clouds. In Chiyako's mind, spring had arrived at last. Along the various sidewalks green sprouts burst out and the flowers blossomed. The cherry trees gave hint of bloom within the week, and the smell of moist earth was everywhere. Most importantly, the chilling bite in the air, present even in the week of good weather when they'd held the picnic, was gone. The long winter's grip was so firm and unwieldy that only by it's passing was it noticeable. And now, with the warm sun still present in the late afternoon, Chiyako wondered how she could have lived in ignorance of its influences.

It was as if everything was flourishing. Her advertising class project had earned high marks and her professor had hinted that she might have a chance at an internship next year. It would be an excellent feather in her cap, impressive to trot out at future interviews. 

Socially she was having a blast. Roommate problems were a thing of the past; a real friendship was forming between her and Rumi, closer than any Chiyako had had in high school. They still had their differences, owing mainly to they way they were brought up, but now Chiyako felt comfortable enough to discuss the dissimilarities. There was no longer the constraint of silence binding her, censoring her ability to communicate with the people around her.

She was even honest and carefree with her boyfriend. Youji-kun, as she had started calling him recently, was shaping up to be quite a find. His family was well off and he had quite good taste in restaurants. 

The previous weekend his younger sister had come up to spend the day, and she and Chiyako has got along marvelously. Not that Chiyako was worried about his family's opinion of her. It was far too early into the relationship for such thoughts. But then again. . . 

Youji was, first and foremost, a gentleman. No groping hands, no trying to manipulate her, no reprimanding her in public or private. And fun to be with, mustn't forget that. When she was with him she hardly ever thought about Koishikawa anymore.

Hardly. Chiyako paused mid pace and looked up the street she was passing. Jin lived in the third building on the right, only a few blocks from her and Rumi. It wouldn't be inconceivable to see him now.

The thought caught her off guard, and she dropped her gaze. Why was she still embarrassed about that evening, that kiss? Jin hadn't told Rumi, and he made no sign to lord it over her. It might as well have not happened for its lack of impact. And yet, she still felt a burning frustration when her mind strayed over the memory.

It was an odd experience for Chiyako. She always tried to live in the present, and to pine over things she couldn't change was not her style. The kiss was just an impulse of the moment, and a stupid one at that. 

Fact was, Youji was a far superior beau to Koishikawa. She wouldn't have felt at ease, or the relaxedness with Jin. He was far too exacting, too principled. If she dated someone like that, Chiyako would have always worried that she didn't measure up to his standards. And there would have been the whole roommate mess.

Not worth the effort, she told herself. And then she repeated it out loud to prove that she agreed with the assessment. Tossing her hair to reinforce the point, she headed for home. 

There was going to be a marvelous sunset, she suspected. Already the contrail streaks criss-crossing the sky were turning pink. Leisurely, Chiyako strolled, watching as the sun's light highlighted the clouds' underbellies.

Her room was mostly dark when she got home, and Chiyako left the light off, staring at the last parting colors thought the room's row of windows. The actual sunset was hidden behind a nearby apartment building, but around the edges seeped a golden glow, dispersing into the light gray sky. The outline faded to orange and darkened. And then, like a encore performance, it lit up hot ember red in the now darkened sky. 

Chiyako smiled with delight, and moved the desk chair to sit down. Behind her, something moved.

The motion sent a ripple up Chiyako's spine and she half jumped, half spun around. A lump unfolded itself from Rumi's futon, still huddled under the blankets.

"Rumi," sighed Chiyako, feeling silly with her relief, "I didn't even realize you were here. Weren't you going to study with Koishikawa-san tonight?"

Absently she flipped on the desk light. Her roommate's hair was disheveled and her cheeks blotchy, like she had just woken up from a long sleep. Her posture and face were anything but rested. Rumi's shoulders were hunched, and she was trembling. More disturbing was the empty, distant look in Rumi's eyes. Chiyako had seen that expression on her mother, and she shuddered at the memory.

"Hon," said Chiyako, concern showing in her voice, "What's wrong?"

"Jin. . . " Her roommate's voice trailed off. Gulping, as if for air, Rumi started again. "Jin. . . .Jin and I. . ."

Her voice went quavery, and the shakes became more profound. Silently, tears began to well up in Rumi's eyes. Not for the first time Chiyako hazarded, noting the streaks striping her cheeks.

Chiyako knelt down besides her, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. Something bad had happened, and Chiyako prayed it wasn't what she was thinking.

"Rumi-" she began.

"We broke up!" interrupted Rumi, and she broke down sobbing.

Chiyako put her arms around Rumi, comforting her in the manner common to women everywhere. Inside, her stomach was churning. Why break up now? What could have caused a breakup in a six year relationship that had withstood all of high school, and even, she felt a guilty pang, initial college experiences.

"What happened?" asked Chiyako in her most non-intrusive tone as Rumi's sobs died down. "I mean, you don't have to tell me or anything."

Chiyako sat back, looking carefully at Rumi. Her roommate slumped down, like she was drained of energy. Shaking her head sadly, she spoke slowly, in a near whisper.

"I don't know, I don't know. We were just at lunch. Nothing happened, no fight, no warning."

"But he couldn't have just said, let's break up, there had to be a reason." Chiyako persisted. There had to be reason. There has to be another reason, a part of her silently wished. 

"He said that there were a lot of more eligible guys around, ones with money and stronger futures. He said I shouldn't just stay with him, I shouldn't limit myself to a provincial boy like him."

Chiyako waited for Rumi to say more. She needed data, info, anything. Seconds inched by while Chiyako held her tongue. The silence proved unbearable and she prodded Rumi with a "Well, what happened then?"

"He left, he put money on the table and . . .left."

"Didn't you go after him?" Didn't you chase him down and demand an answer?

"I, I," surprised realization dawned on her face, "I think I was in shock. I just sat there, trying to figure out what he had said. Chiyako, Jin and I have been friends forever, what did I do wrong?" Rumi's voice rose an octave and she started trembling again.

"I don't know," Chiyako lied. Inside she was fuming. What a bastard, what a male bastard! He'd probably met some floozy and had dumped Rumi without a word of explanation. Just so he could go after some pretty face, he'd given his old girlfriend the heave hoe, and given the most bogus of reasons. 

"It was my fault," stated Rumi.

"What?" the self accusation shocked Chiyako out of her private rant.

"It must have been." Rumi insisted, "He must have thought I was interested in Hirokazu-sempai. I wasn't, honest. I don't know why he asked me out. But I'm not interested in the tennis captain, I made it plain to him, and to Jin, that I turned down the date."

"Hirokazu-sempai?" That's right, Rumi had a tennis match with him today. Chiyako had been meaning to warn her roommate of the man's conquest plans, but it had slipped her mind. Sure, Jin had taken advantage of Rumi's feeling of guilt, and took off. Oh, it got her mad!

Taking a hold of the other girl's shoulders, Chiyako gave her a steady look and in her most convincing voice spoke,

"It wasn't your fault, Rumi."

"But-" Rumi protested.

"It wasn't your fault." she repeated, "It was Jin's fault, or. . .someone else's, but it wasn't yours. It wasn't your fault Rumi."

Chiyako leaned forward, hugging her friend. She hadn't been comfortable looking into Rumi's eyes for a moment there, and she knew why. They sat in silence for some time, Rumi quietly sobbing, Chiyako trying to redirect her thoughts from a very dark suspicion.

It was impossible to ignore. _It was you_, it insisted. She had put doubt in his mind. She took the pure Jin and sullied him so that he fell for the next girl that sauntered by.

Anger boiled inside her. How dare he do that to Rumi? And more quietly, she thought: _how could he do that to me?_

Soon she felt Rumi's trembling subsiding, and slowly, the girl relaxed. Chiyako gently released her grip, and let her roommate lie back in bed. They spoke brief, lighthearted reassurances, but mental exhaustion had overtaken Rumi, and she drifted off to sleep almost immediately. Chiyako watched for a short time. When she was assured of the girl's slumber, she discreetly rose, turned off the light, and locked the door behind her.

Downstairs, she fastened her shoes and coat. For an instant, as her hand made contact with the main apartment doors, she paused. But her resolution didn't falter; she opened the door and walked out into the fresh night. There was someone she needed to see. 

"Quite the interior decorating." commented Chiyako while internally she cursed herself.

On her way over she'd practiced any number of opening lines_. You conceited bastard_! had been her favorite, although she had also thought of numerous objects to throw. But as she neared his apartment, her conviction waned, and now standing in Jin's doorway, looking into his eyes, she found her spirit had taken flight.

She cast her eyes once more about the room. The words she had spoken, though cowardly, were nevertheless true. Covering every available space were posters and artwork ranging from simple pencil sketches on line ruled notebook paper to an enormous framed piece that seemed to be some sort of movie poster. Their unifying theme was their subject: Robots. Some were stationary while others seemed to be engaged in fist fights. A few dwarfed the humans either standing on them or posing in the foreground.

Jin followed her gaze. He wore an uncomfortable look on his face, which might be due to embarrassment over the wall hangings, or her presence. 

"They belong to my roommate," he explained, "He drew most of them actually."

"They're. . .interesting, quite detailed," she admitted while she studied one nearby her. It appeared to be painted on some sort of clear plastic. "Kind of single minded, though."

"Oh," Jin rubbed the back of his head, "actually, he does people as well, or rather women. . .in swimsuits and . . . less. One of our early roommate compromises concerned what was acceptable display material."

"Less?" asked Chiyako, curiously.

"One, as I recall, had nothing but high heals and rabbit ears. Oh, and a magician's wand."

They looked at each other, lips pursed so as to maintain serious faces. Chiyako hadn't seen Jin in over two weeks. He had been avoiding her, and she had let him. They sat on opposite sides of the room for their classes and Jin had canceled on their appointed tennis match. Rumi had tried once or twice to organize group dinners, but Chiyako had declined, claiming too much homework.

She had justified her cowardliness because she didn't want to cause any more conflict, with her roommate or anybody else. Standing here with him now, Chiyako realized how much she had missed his presence. Jin's humor had a polite edge, or maybe his sarcasm had gentleness to it, she wasn't sure which. It was kind, but truthful as well. A real smile began to form on her face but was stopped as she guiltily remembered the purpose of her visit.

She turned away from him again. It was impossible to get her words in order when she was looking at him. Jin remained silent and she could feel his eyes upon her. He could be so irritatingly patient. Part of Chiyako wanted him to say something just so she could react on instinct. But standing so close to him, she was afraid of what her instinct might be.

The room was small to begin with and its clutter made it feel downright cramped. Along one wall was a makeshift bookcase made of cement blocks and flat boards. It wasn't quite big enough, since numerous books were stacked precariously on the top shelf and along the side. Most were small paperbacks with bright, bold writing, some in English words she'd never seen before.

Jin's desk, the one without the plastic paint models, she guessed, was also a mess. But his at least seemed to be covered with the usual, empty food containers and textbooks. Perched on one corner was a framed photo. It looked familiar. 

Chiyako crossed the room to pick it up. She needn't have, Rumi had a duplicate copy, right down to the frame, sitting on her bookshelf in their shared room. 

It was a picture of two grade school children dressed in traditional kimonos standing in front of a humble country shrine. Perhaps the image was meant to evoke a solemn timeless scene, but unfortunately it had been taken too late in the day. The kimonos were wrinkled and smudged with mud along the hems, and the little girl's had a dark stain running down her front. Their hair was disheveled and the boy sported a sizable band aid across his nose. This was Jin and Rumi, ages 7 and 7 1/2, taken on a long-ago New Years Day.

"How did you get hurt?" Chiyako asked him, but didn't turn to face him.

"You know," replied Jin offhandedly, "stupid things kids do."

"Rumi said it was to make her stop crying when she spilled hot chocolate on her outfit. She said you ran into a tree."

"Yeah," Jin's voice was softer now, "stupid things kids do."

"You were obviously close, even back then."

Jin was silent.

"You hurt her today, with what you said."

No reponse. Chiyako felt a righteous anger burn once again inside her. His current feelings for Rumi aside, their long term friendship deserved more than this.

"It was cruel and despicable. If I were you I'd want to crawl under the nearest rock and never come out."

Behind her she heard a thump. She spun about to see Jin with his fist rammed against one of the concrete support beams, teeth clenched, eyes screwed shut.

"Jin," she cried as she rushed over to him. He jumped back before she could reach him and held out his non-injured hand out, an invisible barrier between them. His other knuckle, she could see, was slightly red. The punch had had some force behind it. 

"You don't think that's what I want to do?" he shouted at her. Chiyako took a step back, his voice an even more effective boundary. "The last thing I'd ever want to do is to hurt Rumi. She's the kindest, sweetest, most decent person I've ever known. She deserves the best. That's all I want for her."

His voice sounded sincere, but images of Rumi this evening lay fresh in Chiyako's memory. Narrowing her eyes she hissed back at him, "That's bullshit. That's some lame justification you invented in your head so you can trounce after whatever little coed has taken your fancy."

She expected him to retaliate with denials, the sort of break-up quarrel she was used to. Instead his posture deflated and he spoke in low tones.

"And if that were the case, then Rumi shouldn't have anything to do with me. She deserves the best. And that means a guy who absolutely adores her, who has eyes only for her. Someone who can share his every thought with her, and what he's thinking will only make her happy." he signed and shook his head. "Chiyako, I always thought I was that sort of guy. But I'm not. If only I was, I'd spend the rest of my life with Rumi."

His hand brushed under his eyes. Chiyako stared. Never had she'd seen a grown man cry.

"I couldn't do it anymore, pretend to be this great boyfriend, while all the time. . .The longer I kept up the facade, the more it would hurt later. If I could go back in time and break it off earlier I would. But I can't." Jin gritted his teeth, as if in pain. "I know she's hurt. I'd do anything to stop it. But I can't!"

He turned back to the wall curling his fingers to form a fist.

"Jin," she called out, if only to stay his hand. "Jin, this is touching, but unrealistic. There's no way you can go though life just focused on one person. You can't help looking at other girls, it's only natural. No woman would demand that sort of commitment, not all the time." There, it was all a misunderstanding, it could be straightened out. Chiyako clung to that hope with all her heart. Please let it all turn out all right.

"This isn't something trivial, Chiyako. This isn't-" he paused and looked thoughtful. Then, as if some decision had been made, he continued, "It's not just random girls, it's one in particular. I can't get this woman out of my thoughts. I find myself thinking about her, worrying about her, caring about her, all the time. I've held imaginary conversations with her, explaining why it wouldn't work, why I can't be with her. In my conversations, she always agrees. But it doesn't stop my feelings. I've tried and tried, but nothing works!"

Chiyako could hear her heart pounding. "So this is the reason." there was a sting to her words she couldn't suppress, "You're in love with someone else, not Rumi."

Jin didn't return her look, but simply nodded.

"Then why not tell Rumi the truth, Jin? Why not give her something to be angry with, something for which to hate you. Instead of, instead of this not deserving crap so that she keeps trying to figure out what she did. At least this way she can hate the wench, whoever she is."

Jin just gave her a half-smile. It looked rather sad.

"Who is she? At least tell me so I can despise her."

He kept looking at her. 

"Someone I know?" Maybe a classmate or someone on the tennis team. Chiyako mentally ran thought the faces, trying to remember if there was anyone of exceptional beauty.

Jin said something. It didn't make sense, so Chiyako looked up, "What?" she asked.

"It's you." Jin repeated his voice very soft.

_It's. You._ The words echoed in her brain, connecting, sinking in. _He's in love with me._ Her mind went blank. The image of her and Jin together flitted briefly though. Jin: tall and good looking, sweet and gentle, smart and understanding. She looked at his face, his kind eyes and apologetic smile, and felt a brief wave of happiness. And glanced down at the photo frame, still in her hand. It was then that she panicked.

"Jin, that can't happen!" Chiyako struggled to explain the wrongness, though if it was for Jin or her own benefit, she wasn't sure. "Rumi and I are roommates, I couldn't- And we're friends too, good friends. Then she'd just be hurt more, and have no one- And Youji, he's involved in all this too. It's not fair to him, he doesn't deserve to- to-" 

This would have horrible consequences in every direction. Socially it was unacceptable. Morally it was even less so. Her mind spun as she imagined the looks people would give her, the things they would say behind her back. No girl would want her near their boyfriends, and the boys, they'd see her as a cheap floozy. It would be hard for Jin too. People would think him manipulative and a cheat. He wasn't as tough as she, they'd eat him alive. 

How could she have thought, even for a single moment, that it might work? It was obvious; there was only one choice. 

"Jin," she spoke slowly, rationally, "We can't. We just can't."

Jin simply smiled his half smile, "No," he agreed, "We can't. Tell Rumi, tell her whatever you think is best. I can't do anything, but you, you're her friend, you can help her."

"Of course," murmured Chiyako, her thoughts still chaotic, "Of course."

The stared at each other, sad smiles mirrored on their faces. The silence stretched out, becoming uncomfortable.

Finally, Chiyako said, "I should get going."

Jin gave a nod. 

After another long moment, Chiyako left.

copyright Kim Smuga-Otto 1999 


	6. Resolution of a Love Triangle

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 6: Resolution of a Love Triangle

Matsuura Youji was late, but only by about five minutes. Considering who his date was, he still had a good quarter of an hour. They had agreed to meet here after Youji's class, in the park by the playground equipment, at this same bench. It was for practical reasons, they both knew where it was. But it was fitting, after all, the month-long experiment was nearing its end.

Sighing, Youji gazed upward, willing any nearby gods to send him inspiration. He had been contemplating this meeting, and what he would do, for the last few days. He still didn't have an answer.

It really shouldn't matter. It would be Chiyako's decision. And he would live by it. Still, his conversation with his sister echoed in his mind.

"Chiyako is so cool." Emiko had squealed over the phone. "Insisting that I call her by her first name, that's so modern. And she's sharp and she said she'd give me a makeover next time I came to visit. I like her way better than any of the other girls you've dated before."

"Emiko, that's not nice."

"But it's true," she countered, "That, what was her name, Namami, she was so pathetic. And then she dumped you, on Valentine's Day no less!"

"Manami," Youji corrected her, "And it was a mutual decision. You're being too hard on her, Emiko, she was just out of a very bad relationship. I actually just got a letter from her recently, she's doing quite well."

"Whatever, big brother," Emiko replied, but her tone was more congenial, "I'll admit, some of them were nice. But you always let them go back to their old boyfriends or whatever. Just promise me you won't let Chiyako get away."

"If that's the way it works out, little sister, no one will be more pleased."

"That's not the attitude you need, Youji," her voice taking on authoritarian undertones. "You need to be like this guy I saw on TV last night. He was in love with this girl. But she was a samurai's daughter and he was a ninja assassin. She kept turning him down, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. And then when her father's estate was attacked, he slipped in and kidnapped her. He was so stylish, and good looking. In the end she agreed to marry him."

"I don't think kidnapping is a viable way to win a wife these days, little sister. Besides, Chiyako's apartment is on the third floor and I'm not much of a climber."

"Oh Youji, you know what I mean. If you love a girl, then you need to pursue her, otherwise she won't know you're serious. Don't laugh. I'm a woman, so I should know."

"Little Emiko, in a few years time, when you've had your fill of being pursued, I will quote this conversation to you. The truth is that forcing your affections on someone who doesn't return them is a sure way to make them miserable. And if you truly care for someone, then the last thing you want to do is cause them distress."

Emiko fell silent, and Youji hoped it was because she was considering his words. He was aware that his dating attitude has cost him a relationship or two, but it would have been worse, far worse, to demand another's love when they could not have given it. Living in state was a horrible existence for all involved.

"But Chiyako really likes you, Youji. She told me that you were the best guy she'd ever dated. Honest."

The statement took him by surprise. "She really said that?"

"I wouldn't lie about such a thing. See, she loves you!"

"Did she say that?"

"About the love, well no. But if you're such a great guy, how could she not love you?" Emiko said, confused.

"Love is not an award you get for being the best, little sister. It's more complicated than that. I don't think Chiyako's the type of girl who gives away her heart easily. She's had a rough childhood."

"Lots of people have rough childhoods, Youji," Emiko spoke without sympathy. "If Chiyako doesn't love you yet, you've just got to keep trying until she returns your love. You do love her, don't you?"

He evaded her question, "We've been dating less than a month, Emiko. I think it's still a bit early."

"I recall you going on for some time about how everything was brighter and more enjoyable when she was around. That's what you said."

"Well, maybe," he admitted. "Maybe I am in love."

"And maybe Chiyako's in love with you. Just promise me, you won't let her go without putting up a good fight."

"I'm not climbing any apartment buildings, Emiko."

"You know what I mean."

He understood what his sister wanted of him, he'd sat though enough of that sort of movies. The girl would give some passionate speech, be all set to walk out of the guy's life. Then, at the last minute, he'd grab her hand, look deeply into her eyes, and in a soft voice (still loud enough to be heard over stirring background music) he'd say, "Don't leave, I love you." The heroine's eyes would go shining and big. There would be an emotional struggle acted out on her face. She'd cry out his name. They'd embrace. End credits and catchy love song would roll. A happily-ever-after ending which would always leave Emiko or Youji's date (or both) sobbing blissfully.

Youji had always been a bit disappointed. There was no real resolution, no working through the relationship's problems. The stories never considered what happened later, when the problems resurfaced and the surprise "I love you" trump card had already been played.

Youji turned his thoughts away from this train of thought. He'd let Chiyako evaluate her feelings, and then he'd live with the consequences. 

The decision felt right, and did so for the next ten minutes until Chiyako came running up, apologies spilling out. In that moment, a desire welled up inside him for the long gazes, background music and happy endings. Emiko was right, he was in love.

He resolved to watch his actions very carefully. While wandering over to an ice cream stand, they talked about various things: classes, the weather, Yamashita's current mental state.

"She's putting up a good face, but I know she's hurting inside," said Chiyako wistfully. "I just wish there was something I could do to really help."

"What Yamashita-san needs right now is good friends," opined Youji, "and you aren't letting her down in that regard."

Chiyako looked away when he said this. They ate their ice cream in silence. Youji's brain was deliberating how to broach the subject of their own relationship.

"Chiyako," he said, unsure how he sounded, "It's been a month."

"Mmm?" She looked at him, mid-lick into ice cream.

"A month, time to evaluate the experiment, about our dating." he said to dispel her obvious confusion.

Realization dawned, "Ahhh. The trial dating."

Youji nodded, bracing himself.

"You know, Youji-kun, I had almost forgotten the arrangement."

Chiyako's face took on a thoughtful look.

"Basically, I get to choose right now whether to keep dating you or not. And if I choose no?"

"Then we end it as friends." Youji completed her thought, "hopefully." He tried reading her decision, but her face was inscrutable.

"I'd hate to lose you as a friend, Youji-kun. After Rumi, you're the closest person I know here."

Despite his fears, her compliment raised his spirits. In the back of his mind he had feared most of all that Chiyako really didn't enjoy their talks and friendship.

"So," Chiyako asked coyly, "What do you think I'll choose."

"I let the matter rest in your hands, or heart rather."

"Come on," she said, giving him a sly look, "you must have some idea."

Youji was taken aback. In all the ways he had played out this scene, Chiyako had always firmly stated her decision, leaving Youji to either contradict or abide by her wishes. To be the one to choose . . . Or no, he corrected himself, to try to guess her choice . . .Or perhaps it was a test, and his choice of words would determine everything. Perhaps she herself didn't know what she wanted and was counting on him for advice. _Why were women so inscrutable?_

"Well," he said slowly, mainly to buy time, "There are several points to consider, that is if we want to treat this as a logical experiment."

"A logical experiment," Chiyako mulled over the words, "Yes, let's."

"One," Youji raised a single finger, "Are we compatible? Do we compliment each other's personalities and manage not to get on each other's nerves?"

Youji looked into Chiyako's eyes, trying to read the expression held within. Her poker face held no clues. So he swallowed, expressing what he hoped was a correct observation, "I think the answer there is a definite yes. Yes?"

Chiyako giggled, "Yes." she confirmed, and her eyes danced.

"So with that established, the next point is whether I have anyone else I'd rather be dating? I can answer that question easily, no. Finally . . ." And as Youji began to voice the question, a thought began to flit about the corners of his consciousness. His voice trailed off while he tried to pin it down.

Chiyako continued, oblivious to Youji's awakening realization, "Is there anyone else I'd rather be dating? Easy answer there, no. So I guess we call the experiment a success and we . . ." Chiyako waved a hand in front of his face, "Youji-kun, you're going distant on me. What are you thinking?"

"Chiyako . . ." Youji spoke absently while his mind raced. He had passed, it was a success. He should be dancing, singing, grinning like an idiot at least. And she said it like she really meant it, not like it would go away, like she was resigned to it-

He caught himself. Why had he used that term? Looking at her now, she seemed cheerful, content, very much like his sister. And then the memory crystallized.

Emiko, age seven, weeding her vegetable garden. She was pointing out a small yellow squash to Youji, predicting how large it would soon become. He remembered the look on her face, it was the same as Chiyako's.

It had been the second summer since their mother's death, and Emiko hadn't woken up crying for over three months. She had asked for a patch of garden to grow flowers in, like a girl in a story she was reading. Their father's mother had granted part, but not the entire request. Emiko was entrusted with a small garden plot, but allowed only to plant food crops. Emiko had begged for at least one flower, but their grandmother would not budge. She answer all of Emiko's pleas by repeating the story of the war's aftermath when her family had had only their garden to supply food. In the end, Emiko had backed down and chosen squash and peas to plant, reasoning that they at least would flower briefly.

All spring she had slaved over the garden, and it grew marvelously under her hands. At meals she had proudly presented the vegetables. To this day, Grandma would allude to how her stance hand had been a correct course of action. What she forget, however, was that Emiko never gardened again. The next winter she kept quiet spring planting was mentioned. Youji never asked why, he knew when he looked at her working, day after day. The vegetable garden she tended was not her garden, was not her dream. It was a job which she felt obliged to perform. To give up completely would have brought all sorts of unhappiness, but to persevere with her practical vegetable plants made the pain manageable.

And looking at Chiyako now, Youji felt he could see the pain she was hiding. Somewhere along the way, Chiyako had been hurt, he was sure of it. And now she was willing to accept him as a compromise. It was as if claws of guilt were digging into his neck.

You don't know that, a voice hummed in his ear. She says she's happy with you, why won't you believe it?

"Youji?" asked Chiyako, her face showed concern. She leaned towards him.

"I. . ." How could he say this, contradict her. "Are you sure? Are you sure there's no one else?"

Chiyako snapped back as if she'd been slapped. "What do you mean?"

"Chiyako," he tried to make his voice sound gentle, non-accusatory, "It's alright for you to be honest with me."

"I wasn't lying," her voice had a edge to it, a harshness, "There isn't anyone I'd rather be dating. You're smart, funny, and good looking. I'm happy being around you. I-"

"Do you love him?" the question came out involuntarily and he cursed himself. This was most certainly an accusation.

"What importance does love have?" she threw back at him, but her face was pale and her eyes wide.

Youji smiled gently at Chiyako, everything falling into place. An old flame, or maybe a good friend turned into something more, he understood. He had played this role before. It hurt, but he was on familiar ground. When he next spoke, it was with a compassionate voice, all traces of hurt, of pain, of disappointment absent; 

"Chiyako, if you don't love me, and we continue dating, it's fine. I still have a chance to win your love. But if there's someone else and you settle on me, then I'll never win your love. I'll never even have a chance. And you. if there's someone out there who you never give a chance, then you'll spend you entire life doubting if you're truly happy."

Chiyako gave him a sad smile, "Youji, this person. No matter how I feel, it won't make a difference. I can't be with him. But I can be with you, and I will be happy."

"Are you sure? Can people be happy with second-place prizes?"

They stared at each other. Chiyako seemed caught in internal conflict, and Youji could only guess to what was going on in her mind. Finally she said, "My mother, she loved a man before my, my father. If she had never met him, never pursued him, never fallen in love, she would have been much happier."

"Maybe." Youji agreed, "But you can't deny emotions. They'll only come out more strongly later, and the damage will be far greater." Chiyako tried to contradict him, but he silenced her and continued, "I grew up in a family where what was spoken and what was felt were two separate things. My parents' marriage was a mistake they were never willing to admit. They resented each other for the lives they'd never had a chance to live. And even as a small child I could see this. A life with a broken heart may be empty, Chiyako, but a life with regret will pervert a person's soul, and the souls of people around her."

"I . . .But Youji, if I go after him, you'll hate me." Chiyako's eyes were glistening.

"No," he assured her, "I'll support you, I promise. If it doesn't work out . . ." _I'll be waiting_, "but I hope it does."

Chiyako was shaking her head ever so slightly, and Youji could see her uncertainty. He could still take it back, take her back. All that was needed were those few simple words. Youji remained silent, willing Chiyako to decide this for herself.

Finally, she nodded, resolution plain on her face. Youji watched as she walked off, his spirit feeling simultaneously thrilled and torn. He was, he suspected, always destined to play the supporting male role. It was not the part he wanted, but, he contemplated while finishing off his ice cream cone, it was better than being cast as the villain. 

******

Jin checked his watch again. Its minute hand had hardly advanced five minutes since he last checked, still almost fifteen minutes till his train's arrival. He hoisted his suitcase, set it down, lifted it again, and debated the merits of pacing the length of the platform. Grimacing, he forced himself to sit. He was a bundle of nervous tension, wanting to move, to act, to get it over with, but bound by the schedule of the outside world, he could only wait.

Odd, the strength of his desires to fulfill a goal he had realizes only a few hours back. He had been sitting, contemplating spending the weekend alone in his room. It held no appeal and on a lark he'd thought of going home and visiting his family. 

He had started packing with plans to catch the afternoon train. There was so much dirty laundry that it had seemed more logical just to stuff in all in his largest suitcase than to sort through for the few items he'd need for the extended weekend. Mom wouldn't mind doing an extra load or two, it would make her feel needed. There was still room, so he added some books, his clock, and various other items.

It was then that the thought occurred. Everything I need is here. I could go home, and never return. 

And once he had thought it, it seemed right. To leave here would only improve everyone's lives. Rumi would get over him more easily if he were far from the University. Chiyako and Youji wouldn't be bothered by his presence. And he himself would forget his desire for Chiyako if he wasn't seeing her every day. The only one inconvenienced was his roommate, and if Jin got a job, well, he could continue paying his half of the rent until the guy found someone else. It was scary how his removal would help everyone so much.

And so, after leaving a brief note of explanation on the apartment door, the only place guaranteed to be visible, he'd set off. 

Getting to the station must have taken longer than he thought, because he missed the early train. No matter, getting in late wouldn't matter if he wasn't coming back. The very idea lifted his spirits.

Try as he might, the past week had gone poorly. He'd skipped most of his classes, at least all that involved Chiyako, and taken detours to avoid her apartment building, all the while silently wishing he might accidentally meet her.

He once ran into Rumi, and they had stared at each other several minutes before she turned and ran away. It was hard, looking at her and being unable to say a thing. It had never happened with Rumi, and he had to fight the impulse to confide in her.

Until the last week, he hadn't realized how alone he'd been here. So many of his contacts had been through Rumi or the tennis club, and now he feared both.

Tokyo wasn't for him. It was too big, too complicated. When he was at home, he knew the rules and the acceptable way to behave. It wasn't hard to be good there. Here everything was jumbled and upside down.

It was true in so many ways; the way students ignored studying, the radical non-traditional things they spoke of, the way he found himself acting when he was around them, the way he felt about Namuki Chiyako. This last part was the worst of it.

Last week, when she was standing in his room, he'd felt ready to scream from pain and frustration. It wasn't that he no longer liked Rumi. It wasn't even that his thoughts about her had changed. He still cared for her, he still loved her, but. . . 

It was Chiyako that his thoughts kept turning to. Chiyako whose good standing he coveted. Chiyako, whose image he dreamed about.

Chiyako, he realized, who was standing across the platform, looking at him. She ran towards him, hand clutching a piece of paper. He wanted to escape, if only the train could come right now. 

Instead, Chiyako reached him.

"What's this?" she demanded, waving the letter he'd posted on his door, "You're leaving? You didn't even say good bye."

"I . . ."

"Coward!" she spat.

Jin could only stare at her. He was just glad that she had come, if only so that he could see her one last time. Soon the train would arrive and he'd board it and never see her again. He wanted to freeze her image in his memory. 

"I can't believe you'd just leave like this, just give up, just quit!" Chiyako's voice trembled slightly.

"I . . ." how could he explain. "It's all for the best."

"For who?" she glared at him.

"For everyone!" he said defensively, "I'm only hurting Rumi by staying and Youji certainly doesn't need my presence."

"What about me?"

She was shaking, and Jin had to fight himself not to go over and hold her. He'd never leave it he did, and he was convinced that leaving now was the only solution.

"What about me?" Chiyako repeated, "You said you loved me. And now you're abandoning me! Was it all a lie?"  
"No, no," he pleaded, "It wasn't a lie." Jin looked into Chiyako's eyes, willing her to believe him. He couldn't break down in front of her. It would be the last time they met; he didn't want her to see him cry.

"Everything I said was true. I want nothing more than to be with you forever. I love you. But you're right, it can't be. My desire would hurt so many people, people I don't want to hurt."

"But you're hurting me!"

It was too much, and he blinked back tears.

"Chiyako, I'd do anything not to hurt you. Anything. That's why I'm leaving, so I don't hurt you. Don't bring yourself down with me. I'd hurt your image, your relationships, your standing. I couldn't stand to see you unhappy."

Chiyako put her hands to her face, trembling and making muffled sounds. He had hurt her and his heart tore within him. The overhead speakers gave warning of the incoming train, and he heard its approaching sound on the tracks. It pulled in behind him, its breaks squealing and doors hissing open.

"Chiyako?" he whispered. 

He had a few minutes before the train departed. Enough time to apologize, if nothing else.

She was still shaking, head obscured. In a voice pitched low so only he could hear, she said:

"Then you can't go. You can't go Jin. Because if you leave, I'll be hurt. I don't care what others think of me. I don't care what they say about me. I just care about you, Jin. I love you."

She looked up, smiled, and made a sound that might be a giggle. Jin stared at her, but just for a second because now he had crossed the space between them and was encompassing her in his arms. Holding her tightly, Jin buried his face in her hair.

She loved him, she loved him, she loved him. At that moment, his whole world comprised of the words she had spoken aloud and what they meant. That she really cared and that he hadn't only been a diversion. All along, that was the fear he dared not express, because then all the pain and hurt he'd caused Rumi would been for nothing. But she'd said she loved him.

_It still doesn't mean Rumi will be less hurt._ He knew that, and Chiyako knew that as well. Like a bullet, the guilt tore through his happiness . Slowly he loosened his embrace and looked into Chiyako's now beaming expression.

"What about Rumi?"

Chiyako's face fell, and Jin regretted his words instantly. Would she take that as a rejection? But when she spoke it was with calm, determined tones.

"I don't know. I hate hurting her, but," her voice faltered but then resumed, strong in conviction, "Jin, I've never felt like this before, never cared about someone in this way, and I can't, not even for friendship, walk away from this. I thought I could. I thought I could bury what I felt for you deep within myself, and no one would know, would not even suspect. But I'm not so good an actor as that. Youji-kun knew."

"Matsuura-san?" Jin said, guilty that he had forgotten about Chiyako's current boyfriend and his friend.

"Yes. He saw right through my act. He didn't want me to live with regret. He told me to follow my heart. I think it would have hurt him more for me to be dishonest, in the long run that is. And in the long run it would hurt Rumi more for us to lie to her."

"She's still going to be hurt." Jin spoke softly.

"Yes," agreed Chiyako.

Jin looked into her eyes. There was no ingenious solution to fix the situation so that everyone could be happy. Everyone could suffer, or he and Chiyako could prosper at Rumi and Matsuura's expense. 

Maybe life had always been this complicated, and he had just been oblivious to it. Perhaps these actions were not so cruel and despicable as he imagined. The justifications felt hollow and empty. 

The station speakers announced final boarding call for the train. Earlier today he'd thought that he could leave Tokyo and return to the simple life, but he had been fooling himself even then. He couldn't blame this place or even its people for the uncertainties he felt in his soul. 

Chiyako, too, must have uncertainties. By confessing her love for Jin, she was risking just as much as he. At a certain point, Jin realized, you have to choose who's most important to you.

Jin listened to the automatic doors close, heard the train give a whistle and then start its journey. 

Gently, he cupped Chiyako's cheek in his hand. _This one person,_ he promised, _this one person, I will not hurt_. 

Slowly he bent down and kissed Chiyako.

copyright Kim Smuga-Otto 1999 


	7. A Conspiracy is Formed

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 7: A Conspiracy is Formed

"Well, I wouldn't stand for it. Imagine, showing up an hour late and expecting your date to be okay with it."

"I don't know; he's awfully cute."

"He's not that cute. And he has no prospects. Sorry, but he's just not my type."

"And who is your type?"

"Welllll, he's handsome, and rich, and influential, and a true gentleman."

"Too bad Hirokazu-sempai isn't interested in you, isn't it?"

The table of co-eds to Youji's left erupted in fits of giggles and squeals. He glanced at his watch. Only twenty more minutes to go. Twenty more minutes of sitting in a back corner of the bar, desperately wishing to leave so he could go home and be depressed by himself. They were wrong when they said misery loves company.

"Promise me you'll attend, Youji," his sister had said to him on the phone yesterday, "Pretty please, at least for an hour."

"I'm just not in the mood to be social, Emiko." 

"But you've been like this for two weeks, ever since you and Chiyako broke up. You need to get out, meet new people and do stuff. The tennis club social would be just the thing, don't you think?"

"I met Chiyako at a tennis club social." Youji said.

"Just go, okay? If you sit home moping, I'll be unhappy. You don't want that, do you?"

So, in the interest of his personal karma, Youji went to the bar where the club was meeting, and sequestered himself back behind the karaoke rooms. It hadn't been too bad until the wallflower gossip brigade had positioned itself next to him, well within hearing range. Currently they were critiquing men, working their way down a list that seemed to encompass all the males in the greater Tokyo area. He scowled and tried to ignore them.

His sister was right. He needed something new, some project or goal. Anything to get his mind off Chiyako. The tennis club was proving a poor distraction. He should check out the other social circles. Wasn't there a hang gliding group on campus?

"Namuki Chiyako?!!"

_Yes,_ he told himself, _I have to stop thinking about Chiyako._ But the voice had not come from his own musings. Rather, the wallflowers were now talking about his old girlfriend. With only slight pangs of guilt, he focussed on their conversation.

"You're kidding!"

"No honest, I saw her walking with him between classes just this week."

"So?"

"So, they were holding hands. And he had the dopiest grin on his face, like guys get when they're in love."

"I bet he looked sweet. He's so my type."

_Who, who?_ Youji was trying his hardest to look disinterested while his ears strained to catch the conversation. He had known Chiyako was interested in someone else, but who?

"He's not that great." 

"Says who? You haven't had a date since semester started."

"I'd rather be dateless than steal a man. You know who Koishikawa-san was dating before Namuki-san? Her roommate, Yamashita Rumi. Yamashita-san and Koishikawa-san had been dating since middle school."

Youji had to fight to keep his face neutral; this new information was unbelievable. He knew Yamashita Rumi from his chemistry and calculus classes. When Youji had first been interested in Chiyako, Yamashita had helped set up the first date. Youji and Chiyako, Yamashita and her boyfriend Koishikawa Jin; it had been the most fun he'd had since coming to university. Youji remembered watching the couple and feeling slightly jealous that Koishikawa had found a girl who was obviously so much in love with him.

"But I heard they broke up."

"Yeah, but only a month ago."

"Are Namuki-san and Yamashita-san still rooming together?"

"Well . . . This is what I heard," the woman's voice dropped low, and Youji leaned slightly closer. "Koishikawa-san and Namuki-san are in the same major, so they knew each other since the start of the school year. All three of them were the best of friends until Yamashita-san came home one day to find the Namuki-san and Koishikawa-san together, in Yamashita-san's futon."

"No!!" The girls squealed. Youji flinched.

"Yeah, she ran out and never came back to the apartment, just left all her clothes and possessions. And the only place she could find to stay was with this girl called Fukutami Yayoi, whose apartment is in the very same building as Koishikawa's. Can you believe it? She's right next door to him." There were gasps all around, including Youji's.

"Oh, if I were Yamashita Rumi I'd - I'd - Oh my god, that's her, isn't it?"

Youji looked up to see a young woman with glasses and long black hair standing by his table. It was indeed Yamashita, and by the fragile look on her blanched face, he guessed she had been standing there for a while.

"Matsuura-san," she addressed him in a trembling voice, "I saw you across the room and, and, and . . ." she trailed off and Youji could see her eyes shimmering.

If she broke down here, before the gossiping harpies, it would only lend credence to their lies. _Not a good scene_, Youji decided. Fluidly, he jumped to his feet obstructing the gossips' view, and spoke loudly.

"Yamashita-san. A pleasure to see you. I just happened to have a question regarding the chemistry exam next week. Shall we discuss it somewhere quieter?"

From that point on it was a simple thing to maneuver her down the hallway to the private karaoke rooms. The attendant lead them to an unoccupied one and after a tip from Youji agreed to forgo demonstrating the operating instructions and leave them in peace.

Youji sighed and sat down on a chair opposite from the couch where Yamashita was trying to sniffle away the large tears rolling down her face.

"Bet you anything that the management is under the mistaken impression that we've cloistered in here to make out." He said, hoping to break the ice.

Yamashita said nothing. She was staring off into space and Youji wondered if she had even heard him. Or maybe she was just too embarrassed to reply.

"Tell you what," he said, "You just collect yourself. Take all the time you want. I'll wait outside, and if you like I can walk you home. Or not, whatever you want. Okay?"

As Youji stood up to leave, Yamashita spoke.

"It's not true! Matsuura-san, what those girls said wasn't true."

"Umm," he said, slowly sitting down again.

"Jin and Chiyako in my futon. It didn't happen. You mustn't think they'd do something like that, Matsuura-san."

Youji relaxed. It had all been vicious rumors. He should have known better than to put stock in it.

"Of course not." he said, eliciting a relieved smile from Yamashita. "I didn't believe for a moment they were dating."

Yamashita's face fell and she stared at her hands.

"They are dating," she said in a small voice.

Urk. "Since when?"

"Since you and Chiyako broke up, almost two weeks now. But they didn't do it behind my back. I mean, Jin and I had broken up already. And at the time, he didn't plan to date Chiyako, because she was dating you, and he didn't want to hurt me. But, well, then you and Chiyako weren't dating, and it turned out that Chiyako was in love with him, and well . . . He was truthful and up front about all of it. Jin couldn't know, when he called me over, to tell me. He didn't realize that I thought he wanted to get back together."

Youji gave her his "sympathetic understanding male" look, trademark registered. He seemed destined to have pretty girls confide in him, to have them tell him all about some jerk who had trampled all over their hearts while crying buckets because they still loved said jerk and wanted him back. And Youji would nod, listen, and comfort them, all the while holding back his real feelings. 

Which was why Chiyako had chosen her roommate's ex-boyfriend over him. Koishikawa, tall and handsome, great smile, and completely insensitive to what Yamashita had been thinking when he called her over to break her heart once again.

As if sensing what he was thinking, Yamashita went on, "He didn't have much choice. Coming over to tell me at my place would probably have been even worse. What with all of Chiyako's stuff there. I knew as soon as I got to his apartment, as soon as I saw his face, that we weren't going to get back together. The way he looked, I thought something had happened back home, to his family or something. And so when he started telling me about being in love with this other girl, I was almost relieved. Until then he told me it was Chiyako, and . . ."

Yamashita got a distant look in her eyes. Youji said nothing. Usually the girl was a puddle of soggy emotions by this point. Could she be in shock? Denial?

"Jin kept talking, appologizing mainly. I wasn't really listening. I stood up and walked out, and that's when I ran into Yayoi."

"Yayoi?" asked Youji.

"Fukutami Yayoi. She lives down the hall from Jin. I'd stayed overnight at her place before. She let me move in, got my stuff from Chiyako's, looked after me"

"Are you alright now?"

Yamashita shrugged.

"Better, I think. And bored, too. You can only spend so much time feeling sorry for yourself before it gets old. Besides," she gave a forced smile, "no one wants to hang around a depressed person; they aren't any fun. I keep telling myself to get over it, to just move on." Her smile dropped, "but some part of me is being stubborn."

"These things take time, Yamashita-san. Gradually the sadness goes away, bit by bit."

"It's not sadness. It's, it's . . . dread. It's like it's not yet over. Funny, huh?"

"Uh?"

"I mean, Jin and I are broken up. He's happy with Chiyako. Time to move on, to forget it all. But . . ."

_Cue the tears_, thought a cynical side of Youji. But instead Yamashita managed a small grin, almost mischievous.

"This is going to sound baked, but I remember watching this American cartoon back when I was a child, where the mouse throws a whole china set at the cat. Amazingly, the cat catches all the pieces and stands there, holding them in a contorted, ludicrous, position. And then the mouse throws a stick of dynamite, lit of course." She paused, "why do Americans keep dynamite in their houses? And those weird shaped, black, heavy things?'

"Sorry," she said before he could answer. "Sometimes I get off topic. Anyway, the cat panics and throw all the dishes up in the air to catch the dynamite. The dishes go crashing down one at a time on the cat's head. The poor creature stares at the stick as the string burns its way down. Then there's a pause, like maybe the dynamite was a dud after all, and the cat looks momentarily relieved. Then he explodes.

"I'm the poor cat. When Jin and I broke up, it was like I was balancing all those cups and saucers. Knowing I couldn't hold it all together, but pretending I could all the same. Then Jin threw the bomb, and I let everything go and now it's all smashed and I'm just staring at this orange cylinder in my hand, wondering how much worse it's going to get.

"I'm hoping those girls and their rumor are the exploding dynamite. And that I can just get on with life. But I'm still dreading something awful, something even worse.

"Imagining cartoon cats and mice makes it not so bad. No matter what happens, you know they'll be all right in the next installment. Cartoons can't make you cry. Unless of course you're Jin's roommate.

Youji's sensitive guy mask fell gradually away as he tried to understand exactly what Yamashita had just said. Cats, dynamite, and falling tea sets. Oddly enough, it almost made sense. He was going to ask what Koishikawa's roommate had to do with all this, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

A rather short woman stuck her face in and instantly began to talk.

"There you are, Rumi-chan. I've been looking all over for you. You wouldn't believe the rumor going around."

"Does it involve Jin, Chiyako, and my futon?"

"No, the tennis coach they hired just eloped with a high school student, can you believe it? He is such a babe. Hey, who's this?"

The woman entered the room and looked Youji over.

"This is Matsuura Youji," explained Yamashita, "And Matsuura-san, this is my new roommate Fukutami Yayoi."

"Matsuura, Matsuura." Fukutami said, and then snapped her fingers; "You're the one Chiyako-chan dumped in order to steal Jin-kun away from Rumi-chan."

"Yayoi!" said Yamashita, aghast.

"Sorry, sorry. I've always scored low in the tact department. Let me try again." She paused and gave a small bow. When she spoke again her voice was at least two octaves higher, "It is a pleasure to meet you Matsuura-san. Rumi-chan has told me much about how you were also a victim of the hurricane that is Jin and Chiyako's love. You have my sympathy."

Youji wasn't sure if this introduction was much better. His grandmother would probably have left the room in a huff, but then Youji had long ago stopped judging the world by her standards. He decided Fukutami Yayoi was one of those eccentric folk who were beyond his ability to comprehend, let alone judge.

"Umm, nice to meet you and thanks for your sympathy. Although I think that Yamashita-san has had a much worse time of it than I."

Fukutami plopped down on couch next to Yamashita and returned to her original arrogant demeanor, "Getting dumped is getting dumped."

"Yes, but that isn't exactly what happened." Youji said, looking past Fukutami to Yamashita. "You see, I told Chiyako to go after the one she loved. I never suspected it would be Koishikawa-san. I'm very sorry, Yamashita-san, but I'm afraid that I am partially at fault for the state of things."

"Wait, wait, Matsuura-san," Fukutani pressed her hand to her forehead as if she had a headache, "I was under the impression that you were dating Chiyako."

"Well, I was." Youji replied.

"So you broke up with her?" asked Fukutani.

"I, well," it was difficult to explain, "It was kind of a trial dating, to see if we were compatible."

"Chiyako told me about that," said Yamashita, "But I thought that she was happy with you, Matsuura-san."

"She was, but I could tell she wasn't in love with me. I'd feel wrong dating someone who was in love with another."

"A compulsion Chiyako-chan obviously doesn't have," said Fukutani under her breath.

"That's too hard on her," Youji defended, "I don't think Chiyako meant to do this to Yamashita-san."

"Okay, we can blame it all on Jin then for snaring the hearts of two innocent women," said Fukutani, sarcastically.

"Jin didn't mean to hurt me," said Yamashita. "Even before we started dating, Jin and I were best of friends; in all that time, he's never hurt me intentionally. And if he did, he always made it up to me. The night he told me about Chiyako, I've never seen him so ashamed. Jin has high ideals, and I've seen him hurt when others didn't live up to them. I've never before seen him when he failed himself."

She hung her head, but didn't seem to be crying. She was suprisingly strong, Youji noted. Unlike Fukutami, she didn't seem to want to lay blame on either her former boyfriend or former roommate,which was quite admirable in Youji's mind, especially considering that even he could not honestly defend Chiyako's actions.

"You still love him," he said.

"How could I not love him? He's Jin." Yamashita's voice was small, but solid in its conviction.

"And you still love Chiyako, don't you Matsuura-san?" asked Fukutami, a calculating look creeping into her eyes.

Still love Chiyako? Of course he did, otherwise why would he have been so miserable these last weeks? For what other reason could he empathize so well with Yamashita's situation? It had to be love. He nodded an affirmative to Fukutami.

"So, now what do we do?" 

Yayoi looked back and forth, like a teacher who's just asked for something obvious, like the second law of thermodynamics. She focussed on Youji, giving him a measured look, as if scoping him out. There was a moment of tension before she let out her breath. Then she gave her roommate a similar evaluation.

"Rumi-chan, do you want him back?" she asked.

"I. . ." Yamashita wavered.

"Yes or no?" Fukutami put to her.

"Yes."

"And Matsuura-san, do you want Chiyako back?"

"But Chiyako doesn't love me, she-" he began to explain, but Fukutani interrupted.

"If Jin-kun went back to Rumi, and Chiyako-chan gets her heart broken, would you take her back, all's forgiven, arms open, and live happily ever after?"

"Of course." It had been his dream, after all, when she had left him that day in the park. _If only_, he'd thought at the time, _it doesn't work out; then she'll know how good I am for her_.

"So, Jin and Chiyako break up, there are people who love them waiting, no one is hurt and it's all for the best in the long run. Am I right?" Youji said nothing, a strange fascination growing within him as he followed Fukutami's chain of reasoning. Yamashita was likewise silent and wide-eyed.

Assuming a tacit agreement from the others, she continued, "So, all we need to do is break them up."

"But. . ." Yamashita's protest died on her lips. Youji could see her considering and discarding arguments. A small if unsure smile appeared, and she asked, "So, how we do we go about that?"

Fukutami gave them a conspiratorial smile, "Well, I'm sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something. It's either that or sing karaoke, and I'm too sober for that."

*****

"So then what?" Asked Chiyako coyly, her chopsticks poised delicately, the sushi balanced inches from her lovely lips.

"The ball shoots back across the court, low and fast. I'm sure it won't make it over, but it skins the net, losing only a fraction of its speed and flies diagonally across the square. Now at this time, it's still possible for my opponent to sprint to it. But he hesitates, just enough. The ball's obviously in, and yours truly wins game, set, and match." 

Jin chose an especially large piece of ginger for his maki roll, feeling a bit sheepish for his bragging. It was, after all, just a routine tennis match. Chiyako said nothing, so assuming that his story needed closure, Jin finished:

"Anyway, he comes over to the net, gives a polite little bow, very little, and says Nice game.' Has a slightly sour look on his face he was trying to conceal, but then again, it must be a bit of an ego blow to lose to a lowly freshman, especially if you're a senior and team captain like Hirokazu-sempai is." 

"Oh, I think Captain Hirokazu could well do with some lessons in humility," said Chiyako.

"That's harsh, Chiyako. Are you that hard on all your ex-boyfriends?"

"I only dated him once; he does not count as an ex-boyfriend." Chiyako said defensively, and then added less severely, "Besides, you have nothing to worry about, Jin. There's no way I'm letting you become my ex-boyfriend."

She smiled at him and Jin felt waves of happiness wash over him. _Things shouldn't be this good_, he thought to himself.

But they were. Every minute he was with Chiyako was special and wonderful in ways that Jin had never conceived possible. It was like the sappy loves songs that he'd always dismissed previously. Watching Chiyako, listening to what she said, sharing his ideas with her: it was all so exhilarating. And kissing . . .

Still, mixed in with all this newfound pleasure was the sour taste of his guilt. Jin and Chiyako's bliss was bought at the expense of Rumi's happiness. _If what she felt for me was like this,_ it was a horrible thought made worse because Jin still cared for Rumi the way he always had, as a friend and protector.

It wasn't any easier on Chiyako, who had been Rumi's roommate and friend. All their discussions of the matter had reinforced their guilt, and led no closer to any solution. It had seemed best to give Rumi a wide amount of space, requiring them to get any news second hand; Jin through Rumi's new roommate, Fukutami, and Chiyako through Matsuura. 

The information was always somewhat removed, making it all the more frustrating. And it hurt, knowing that he might never regain her friendship. It might do him better just to break contact completely, a cowardly and unforgivable option.

Chiyako, sensing his apprehension, if not its source, lightly assured him.

"Of all the guys I've ever been involved with, dear Jin, Captain Hirokazu is the least of your concerns."

"Actually, Hirokazu was a pretty good sport," Jin said in defense of his opponent, returning his mind to a less disturbing subject. "His big mistake was underestimating me at the beginning of the game. I won the first two sets before he realized he'd have to take me seriously. But by that time I was on a roll. 4 to 1, I almost feel guilty for beating him so badly."

"He should have been serious from the start, otherwise why play the match?" Chiyako said with vehemence. The guy must have done something quite uncouth on that single date; Jin decided to go lightly on his rebuttal.

"Oh come on," he said, "This is the tennis club. We organize ski trips in the winter and I think the majority of the members see it as a way to pick up dates. My last opponent was a no show and I spent the time filling in for a missing double, who it turns out had shown up but left before the other three showed up - an hour late. I suspect that next time I play Hirokazu-sempai it will be a far more difficult game."

"I think you're overestimating our tennis captain's seriousness for the sport. I have a feeling that Hirokazu's main ambition in the club tends towards dating coeds." With this pronouncement, Chiyako dolloped her sushi with wasabi and popped it in her mouth. She might have meant to keep the serious face, but it twisted oddly as the horseradish's curiously strong heat permeated her mouth.

Jin grinned carefully as he plucked the salmon sashimi from the serving plate. "From what I know of the guy's track record, he asked you out, and, after you dumped him, he was turned down by Rumi. I really can't fault his taste in women."

Chiyako gave Jin a knowing look, as if she wanted to speak, but was holding her tongue. Jin wasn't quite sure why he kept returning to defend his opponent. Probably an effort to help the guy save face. _Just male solidarity,_ he justified. Besides Chiyako, Jin had heard Fukutami and even Rumi complain about the guy's apparently unsuccessful conquests of women.

Shifting focus away from his ex-girlfriend, Jin continued, "And as far as his captaincy, I think he cares a lot for the club. After the game, he came in to talk about getting together. He says he's looking to get feedback from some of the freshman members."

"Really?" Chiyako asked, still somewhat skeptical.

"Yeah. He wants to hear my opinions. Actually, he wanted to get together tonight, but I told him I had a date. This restaurant is actually his suggestion."

Chiyako looked around, as if appraising the restaurant anew. It was a tasteful sushi bar, classical décor with light wood paneling and paper screens strategically located about the room to give privacy. Unfortunately due to the place's popularity, Jin and Chiyako's table was located up front and within view of the entrance and cash register. It was only a minor inconvenience, more than compensated for by the service and affordability of the place. And the food, Jin noted, as he bit into his fish, was fabulous.

"Well, Hirokazu does have taste, I'll give him that." Chiyako agreed ruefully, "And now, I order a change of conversation. How's your roommate?"

"Wouldn't know. He hasn't been home in three days, something about a friend getting a hold of a projector and some movies. I hope he comes back soon, rent is almost due."

"Don't I know that," agreed Chiyako.

"You're not short this month, are you?" Jin asked with concern.

"A bit." She admitted. "Rumi and I were alternating months on who paid. It was going to be Rumi's turn this month, and so naturally I went shopping with the remainder of my allowance. Worse comes to worst, I'll ask my mom, but she won't be happy at 'the frivolous waste of money.'"

Jin took a sip of beer. He wished he had heard about this earlier. He had spent most of his extra cash for the month on dates and such, and neither could ask Rumi for the cash.

"We could ask Fukutami. I know her parents pay the rent directly, I don't think she's told them that Rumi's paying her half. We could ask for that money, just this month until you find another roommate."

"I don't think Fukutami would be willing to help me out. Last time I saw her, she shot daggers at me with her eyes."

"That's not fair, she should blame me." Said Jin.

"She knows me the least." Chiyako said, shrugging her shoulders. "Naturally she'll blame me. Actually, I'm so grateful for her taking Rumi in, I'd let her hate me all she likes."

Jin nodded, silently wishing for a solution to this mess. His roommate had insisted he'd seen a TV show with precisely this setup. Unfortunately, upon being pressed, he admitted it was a morning cartoon and the protagonist had used some magic make-up compact to reverse time. 

There were times when the guy really disturbed Jin. He really wondered what had happened to the compatibility survey the roommate finding service had had him fill out. Well, they were both nonsmokers.

Many people here in Tokyo had turned out different than he expected. Some for worse, but many for better. Fukutami Yayoi, his neighbor, had turned out to be an excellent support for Rumi, and also for Jin.

Looking back, it had seemed like some god's intercession that Fukutami had been in the hall just as Rumi ran out. It had been pretty tactless for Jin to ask her over only to tell her he was in love with Chiyako, but inviting her out would have been too much like a date, and at the time Rumi and Chiyako were roommates, so he couldn't really go there.

Perhaps Fukutami's presence hadn't been complete coincidence, thought Jin. He had a feeling that she knew a good deal about what went on around the apartment building. Or perhaps she just liked to appear to be so knowledgeable; she could choose to be excessively vague when she wanted to. 

Jin found himself replaying their most recent conversation from this morning, hopeful yet odd all the same.

"About Rumi," Fukutami had focussed the conversation after the obligate pleasantries were dispensed with.

"Yes?" he asked, bracing for the worst.

"She's doing better these days, almost chipper."

"That's great." Said Jin, happy for good news at last.

"Possibly." She said, reluctantly.

"What?" asked Jin, "You think it's just a front?"

"No, I think she's genuinely happy. I think she's getting over you, finally."

Relief surged through Jin's heart, "I'm so glad."

"I hope so." Fukutami nodded, her face inscrutable. As she passed him by, she added, "Miraculous recoveries come with side effects, you know."

Maybe Chiyako could make some sense of it. Jin started to repeat the conversation, but Chiyako's interest was elsewhere. 

"Well, look who's here," said Chiyako as she looked somewhere behind Jin's ear, "It's our tennis captain himself."

"Here?" Jin asked with surprise, "What's he doing?"

"Probably out on a date. I wonder- Oh my." Chiyako's eyes widened with surprise and then some more unfathomable emotion.

Curiously, Jin craned around. The place was crowded and at first he could only see Hirokazu, looking quite dashing and conversing with someone to his right. Then, the customers shifted to reveal a rather dressed up young woman. 

Jin's hand clenched, causing his sashimi to flip out and land in the soy sauce, splattering the brown liquid. He didn't notice, his mind was so caught by realization.

Hirokazu's date was Rumi.

copyright Kim Smuga-Otto July 2000


	8. The Karma of Deception

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 8: The Karma of Deception

"Alright, they've been spotted." reported Youji in a whisper, as he peaked through the tear in the shoji screen, inconveniently positioned so that he had to hunch over.

"And?" asked Fukutami impatiently.

"Chiyako's pretending to ignore them, but Koishikawa's obviously staring. Oh, Hirokazu-sempai and Yamashita-san are pretending to just see them. They're approaching the table. Hirokazu's waving, looks like he's speaking with Koishikawa-san."

"And? And?"

"I can't hear them from back here," Youji apologized.

"Improvise!" Fukutami had the world's loudest whisper, making Youji thankful for the restaurant's lively din. "I'm going crazy with suspense. Can we have a rematch on Rock Paper Scissors? Please Youji-kun." 

"You've already lost three rematches." Man, she didn't take defeat gracefully. 

"I think you cheat."

Youji raised an eyebrow, reminding himself he should be thankful that Fukutami knew the maitre'd and had been able to get them such an ideal spying spot. He continued his observation report. 

"Hirokazu's speaking to Koishikawa, motioning to the waiter. Great, they're bringing two more chairs over. Chiyako's got a rather sour look on her face."

"Serves her right. Hey, if you'll switch places with me, I'll pay for my half of the dinner."

"I had assumed you were planning on that anyway," he said under his breath. 

But it wasn't worth the effort; the spy hole wasn't terribly useful, and his neck was getting sore. Youji relented, quickly sidestepping as Fukutami positioned herself in the coveted spot and wasted no time in plastering her eye to the screen. 

"They're all at the table, girls on one side, boys on the other, couples facing each other. Hirokazu-kun's ordering for Rumi-chan and himself, probably something expensive. And- oh no!" Fukutami cried in alarm.

"What, what?" What could have gone wrong this early into dinner?

"They just sat someone at the table in my line of site. I can't see a thing. The injustice of it!" wailed Yayoi.

Youji grimaced; hoping that his dinner companion's voice wasn't as loud as it seemed.

"It doesn't matter," he tried to assure her, "The tricky part is over. So long as Koishikawa's doesn't get suspicious, everything will go according to plan."

Fukutami pried herself away from the lookout and scowled. "My, but you're cocky. How'd you get to be so smart?"

"One - a nosy grandmother who loved to gossip, two - a kid sister with an extreme romantic streak, three - watching way too much television with both of the above." Youji raised his fingers, counting off while he spoke and added for emphasis, "I've probably seen more soap operas than you."

"Probably," she admitted, "I was into Ultraman."

"Poor, deprived child."

"So, draw upon your vast knowledge and tell me what's happening."

"Well, assuming this was a standard romance, Hirokazu-sempai would act like an ass; Koishikawa-san would get ticked off and pop him one. Chiyako, embarrassed, would run out of the restaurant. Yamashita-san, on the other hand, would stand by Koishikawa, thus proving herself the worthier girlfriend at which point Koishikawa would apologize profusely for not realizing that she was the only girl for him all along. Hirokazu misses all this, as I'm afraid that he'd be unconscious still. Which leaves only us, the side characters, naturally, we unwittingly fall for each other."

"You and me? Nothing personal Youji, but you're not my type."

"Indubitably, aren't you glad this isn't really a soap opera?" _I am._

"Thank the gods." Fukutami gave the peephole another go. "I can kind of see them. Damn, I wish I could hear what they're talking about."

"It wouldn't be interesting. It's what they're not saying that's important." 

Fukutami looked at him inquiringly; Youji continued.

"Here's my honest guess as to what's going on. I know Chiyako feels rotten for what happened to Yamashita, and Koishikawa-san must feel ten times worse. Now they see Yamashita, for the first time in month, smiling and having a good time. It's what they've been hoping for, and yet. . " He let his voice trail away, carefully planning his next phase, "it doesn't settle their consciences. Quite the opposite, because now they get the added guilt of not being happy for Yamashita."

"Well, Jin's going to be jealous, that's the plan. But why wouldn't Chiyako be ecstatic? Unless of course she's worried she won't be able to hold onto her newly acquired boyfriend."

"Correct," Youji agreed reluctantly, adding. "But also, because she's worried for Yamashita. You said yourself that Hirokazu's a playboy. Chiyako knows this, and that Yamashita's has had a very limited dating experience. She doesn't want Yamashita's heart broken again."

"Boy," Fukutami said sarcastically, "so everyone is good and decent and all the troubles are just misunderstandings? Kind of naïve, aren't you Youji-kun?"

"Koishikawa-san and Chiyako are fundamentally good people, Fukutami," said Youji firmly. "They didn't want to hurt anyone; it's just the way it all played itself out."

Fukutami looked unconvinced. "They hurt Rumi-chan. They hurt you. You can't deny that."

Youji signed. He wasn't comfortable having this conversation with her, but he knew he was going to keep talking anyway.

"What we're doing isn't upstanding or noble either, Fukutami-san. If this works out, we will have manipulated and deceived two people who care for each other. We will have deliberately lied to them, caused them to doubt each other, and hurt them. It's not something I'm proud of." He dropped his eyes, not wanting to see Fukutami's reaction.

"So why are you doing this?" she asked, sans sarcasm.

"Because Yamashita still loves Koishikawa. Loves him very much. Chiyako and Koishikawa are still very new into their relationship. At this point, I think Yamashita has more claim to him. And I think she deserves him more. And . . I don't know, I'm just rooting for her."

"Wow." said Fukutami with reverence, "are you for real?"

Youji grinned, "My sister says I'm chivalrous and that I can't stand to see a woman unhappy."

"Hmmph." Fukutami returned her attentions to her spy hole. "So what's the next step of the plan? Arrange for another accidental double date?"

"No, that would be too suspicious. We lay low for the next two weeks. Let Rumi and Hirokazu be seen in public a few times so they're officially known as a couple. You and I need to get our stories straight, in case Koishikawa or Chiyako come asking us."

"You don't think that's moving too slow?" asked Fukutami, "The plan requires that Jin be jealous and worried enough that he'll go back to Rumi-chan when they visit home over break. That's only three weeks away."

"Don't worry," Youji assured her, "more than enough time. I just need to talk to Yamashita first to explain what we need her to do."

*****

"And I've been tennis captain president ever since," concluded Hirokazu. 

Silence descended once again around the table. Rumi added ginger to the remaining piece of sushi on her plate. It was a waste not to eat it, but her nervousness had vanquished any appetite. Even the after dinner green tea she ordered made her feel queasy.

Why, oh why, couldn't they leave. Call the whole plan a failure and just give up.

She was such a bad actor; there was no way Chiyako or Jin could believe this evening was anything but a set up. Throughout dinner she'd kept mostly quiet, letting Hirokazu keep up the conversation. It had been very one-sided, as Jin and Chiyako's replies were mostly monosyllabic. 

They kept giving Rumi these questioning looks, as if to implore her why she was doing this. No, they weren't fooled, couldn't be. 

She forced herself to look up. Jin was staring back at her, a searching look across his open face. _Probably wondering how I could have sunk so low_, Rumi accused herself. Jin, who always valued honesty, must be so disappointed with her, so glad to realize how right he was to end their relationship. 

And Chiyako, who was eyeing Hirokazu in a scrutinizing manner, she must be wondering if Rumi had chosen him to deliberately remind her of their short unsuccessful date. But she hadn't! She had thought that Chiyako had dumped him up until recently. 

So, from that sin, at least, her conscience was free from guilt. Pity she couldn't excuse herself from the rest. It had all seemed so straightforward and simple when they'd come up with the strategy, Yayoi's idea, Matsuura's implementation, and Rumi's contribution, small but significant.

"The way I see it," Yayoi had initiated the planning, "If we can make Jin-kun realize that he still loves Rumi, then he'll drop Chiyako and Youji-kun can pick her up on the rebound."

"I think you're oversimplifying things," said Matsuura, who Rumi suspected, might be slightly miffed by Yayoi's flippant evaluation of his and Chiyako's roles in all this. Or maybe it was her insistence of calling him by his surname.

"It shouldn't be too difficult," countered Yayoi, "Koishikawa dated Rumi for forever, his feeling for her must run deep. Guys want what they can't have. If he thinks he's lost Rumi, he'll realize just how much she means to him. The key, my friends, is jealousy."

_She means well_, Rumi reminded herself. Yayoi had a way of trivializing people when she spoke about them without intending to. But now was not the time to start defending Jin's character, no matter what her impulse. She glanced over to Matsuura, trying to project mentally her disagreement with Yayoi's seeming universal condemnation of men.

The corner of Matsuura's lips turned up, as if sharing her observations about her roommate. He returned his attention to Yayoi and said:

"It's conceivable that if Koishikawa were to see Yamashita-san involved with someone else, he might recognize that he still loves her. Arrange a few dates for Rumi, make it appear that she's serious, it might work. I seem to recall my sister Emiko having a series of books along this line, I'll get in touch with her and see how they set it up."

"Great," said Yayoi, nodding at Rumi, as if to indicate her agreement as well, "So Rumi goes out on a few dates with you, Youji-kun, and -"

"What?"

"Wait a second!" interrupted Rumi and Matsuura simultaneously and with equal indignation.

"What?" asked Yayoi, "I assumed you'd have no problem pretending to date Rumi, Youji-kun."

"Well, I suppose I could," admitted the flustered Matsuura, "But, it isn't, I -"

Rumi jumped in, ashamed for Matsuura's embarrassment and bewilderment, "I don't think that's a good idea. After all, if Jin comes back to me because of Matsuura-san, then I don't think Chiyako will look favorably on him. And part of the plan is to get them together as well."

"That's not the highest priority," said Matsuura, "What we-"

Yayoi threw up her hands.

"Whatever." She said, giving up, "So whom should we get to fill in as rival?"

She looked at Matsuura, who looked at Rumi. The name came to her unbidden and she spoke it without thinking,

"Well, there's always Hirokazu Nabishi."

So in the end, it was her suggestion, her idea that got her here tonight.

Something nudged her foot, drawing her back into the present. There it was again. She looked at Jin, old instinct and old habit reasserting themselves. But it was Hirokazu who was watching her, smiling with complete self-confidence. Another nudge, and he winked. This last was witnessed by Chiyako to judge by the way she flinched.

"This has been a delightful evening," Hirokazu said suavely, all the while eyeing Rumi, "But I'm afraid we have a movie to catch."

"Oh, well we wouldn't want to keep you." replied Chiyako primly.

"Yeah, have a good time," added Jin, sounding unsure.

Polite nods and short bows were made as Rumi and Hirokazu stood. Oddly, because she'd been waiting for this moment all evening, Rumi paused. Etiquette required her to say at least something; she'd been terribly quiet throughout the meal. 

"It was nice to see you again." 

She really did mean it. Yayoi and Matsuura were becoming good friends, but she'd known these two much longer, trusted herself with them even now.

Desperately she searched their faces, sure that she'd see only disgust and disappointment in their faces. Their faces were impartial, too tasteful to condemn her in such a place. Or maybe now she didn't even rate such consideration

_I'm sorry,_ she wanted to cry out, _forgive me, I miss you!_ But before she even opened her mouth, Hirokazu spoke:

"Yes, it has been delightful. Shall we go dear?" and with that he caught up her hand and swept her out of the restaurant. 

At the door, she glanced back, to see the couple one last time. No lofty scorn, no subtle relief to be rid of her, the was some other expression on their faces. Confusion, surprise, disbelief, what could it mean? She pondered as they walked down the street.

And then understanding dawned. 

"They actually think we're dating," she said in awe, part of her still disbelieving it. "They bought it."

"Hook, line and sinker" replied Hirokazu, confident as always.

"But I was sure they'd see through it, sure they'd know."

"Nonsense. We were very convincing. Especially you, had 'I've-run-into-an-ex-how-embarrassing' written all over your face." 

It was a nice compliment, and Rumi felt herself relaxing for the first time all evening. She glanced up at Hirokazu, and felt her cheeks flush.

"Umm, Hirokazu-sempai, you can let go of my hand now."

"What? Oh, of course."

Smile as charming as ever, he let go. Rumi wondered if he might not have given her hand a quick squeeze at the last moment, but she must have imagined it.

"Say," he said, turning to her, "How about I treat you to dessert? There's a great French pastry place not far from here. I noticed you didn't eat much, you must be hungry."

"Oh no," said Rumi, against her stomach's protests, "I couldn't ask you do that. You just paid for dinner."

The tennis captain chuckled, "I'm afraid you'll have to come up with a better excuse. My weekly allowance is more than enough to take young women out for sushi and pastries every day of the week."

"Well, I guess I can't argue then," said Rumi, she always had a weakness when it came to sweets.

The place was a bit of a walk, but Rumi didn't mind. It was nice to be outdoors; the sushi bar had been stifling psychologically and physically. Now that she knew it had been at least a partial success, she could let her mind float. She was vaguely aware of Hirokazu talking in the background, about his family or something. If it was important, Rumi was sure he'd repeat it.

The shop turned out to be an adorable café on the eight floor of a department store. It had a marvelous view, and smelled delicious. Hirokazu insisted on ordering a large sampler plate, containing at least one of every available confection.

"But we can't eat it all," Rumi protested.

"If the plan continues to be this successful, you'll be back to dating Koishikawa and I won't have a chance to take you here again. I insist that you enjoy all the fine delicacies this place has to offer. It's not like I can't afford it."

"When you put it that way, I can't say no."

The desserts were even tastier than they looked. And Rumi finished far more of them than she should have. 

"I'll probably pay for this later," she said afterwards, her pants fitting more snuggly than earlier in the evening, "but everything was so delicious."

"It was my pleasure." And Hirokazu smiled again.

"I do feel a little guilty."

"I've already explained that I have more money than I know what to do with." He certainly brought up his wealth a good deal, Rumi noted.

"It's not that. I mean that you could have been out on a real date. Everyone has the same amount of time."

"Would you believe me," said Hirokazu, leaning towards her in a conspiratorial manner, "That I've had more fun this evening than I could have with any other girl on campus. And I speak from experience."

Rumi blushed, "I. . ."

Hirokazu shushed her, "Never fear, I know my place. But until you get Koishikawa-san back, I am going to enjoy hanging out with you. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Rumi shook her head.

"Oh, and I was thinking, to strengthen the illusion of us dating, we should be more informal. How's about you call me Nabishi and I call you Rumi? That okay?"

"It make sense." Rumi agreed, and it did. Besides, he had been so gentlemanly about everything this evening, she'd feel badly to turn down this request. She noticed her stomach was discomforted, probably protesting all the sweets she'd just eaten.

*****

The clock's second hand never moves so slowly as in the last five minutes of class, Youji observed. But thankfully it did move and at long last, the bell rang. 

"About time," he observed to the woman next to him. Seeing that she was sleeping, he poked her.

"Wha - Huh- Oh, your class is over. You know, college math classes aren't as bad as high school ones I remember." She yawned and stretched.

"You slept through it all, Yayoi" Yamashita pointed out.

"That's how I spent my high school math classes," said Fukutami defensively, "I just never brought my pillow along back then. Makes it a lot more comfortable."

"You know, Yayoi," Yamashita's voice was level, but with a slight edge, "you didn't have to come sit in on our class, we could have met you somewhere afterwards."

"No way. One, I'd never be able to get up this early if left to my own devices. Two, Rumi would have already divulged the juiciest bit of her third Hirokazu date by the time we met up. Even if you repeated the info word for word, it would loose its strength and passion. And three, this way I can honestly report to my father that I attended class this week."

Youji made a mental note to keep his little sister, Emiko, away from Fukutami. There are certain role models that an impressionable teenager didn't need.

"Well, Yamashita-san and I are done with classes for the day. Lets head somewhere discrete so we discuss Rumi's latest date, and plan the next step."

They decided on Youji's apartment. Conspirators, Fukutami pointed out, always failed because of stupid mistakes, like letting the wrong parties overhear them. That made the girl's place a very dangerous spot. Also, Hirokazu and Yamashita were the hot new couple on campus and the rumors were flying. It was great publicity, but Youji was glad for the upcoming summer break, which should mark the successful conclusion to the scheme. 

He was also fervently gratified he had cleaned up his apartment somewhat. The kitchen contained about a week's worth of dirty dishes, but at least there was no underwear lying about the place. The sitting room, until now an unneeded luxury, suddenly seemed quite practical.

"Wow." said Rumi, looking about, "You live here by yourself?"

"Yeah," he replied. It really was embarrassing how large the place was. But his grandmother had insisted on a non-rat-infested abode in a respectable neighborhood, and only this place, out of the twenty or so they'd looked at, satisfied her. Well, she and his father were footing the bill.

He slid the coffee table closer to the couch so he could set up the folding chair. Good thing there were only three people in on the plot.

"So does this bachelor's place have any food?" Asked Fukutami.

"There's some chips and drinks in the kitchen. I'll get some-"

"Oh no," she insisted, "It's good to practice being domesticated every so often." She disappeared from site, but continued her monologue. "I remember when I had an apartment with a kitchen."

"When was that?" asked Yamashita.

"My first two years, then my father cut back my allowance when I changed my major from law to communication arts. Turned out for the best, though. These new complexes are so high up that it's difficult to throw things out the windows when you need to vent emotions."

Youji made another mental note about Yayoi, who was emerging with several bags of processed food and a six pack of soda.

"Well, let's begin." he said opening a can. "I heard from my tennis partner yesterday that Yamashita-san and Hirokazu-sempai made quite the impression at last week's tennis social."

"We're calling him Nabishi now." corrected a smirking Fukutami while elbowing Yamashita, who nearly choked on the chips she was eating.

"Really?" asked Youji, at a loss for words.

"Well," explained Yamashita after she cleared her throat, "he asked me to, so it would look more serious. It certainly surprised Jin when he heard Nabishi address me by my given name."

It made sense. Youji himself had been going to suggest Rumi address Hirokazu less formally, but first names still seemed extreme.

"Calling someone by their first name is just so more modern." commented Fukutami, "You should try it, Youji-kun. I'm getting tired of being called Fukutami-san. I've always hated my last name."

Yamashita met Youji's eyes with one of her please-excuse-my-roommate expressions she so often gave him.

"And you know what else," Fukutami added, catching their exchange if not its meaning. "You two should be able to use each others first names. It's not like you don't see each other all the time. Besides, it clears up confusion."

Youji raised his eyebrows to convey an unspoken shall-we-humor-her.

"Youji." Rumi said, extending her hand, western style.

"Rumi." Youji replied, taking her hand and performing the shake. It was a nice name, and fit her well.

"Okay, now that that's settled, tell us about the date." Fukutami commanded. Mentally, at least, Youji couldn't think to call her by her first name. "I can't believe, after I waited past one for you to get home you went straight to bed."

"One? AM?" Youji asked, confusedly, "you were only going to make a short public appearance."

"I, well, it got complicated." Rumi took a deep breath and started her narrative:

"Nabishi picked me up after my tennis match. Chiyako saw me leave, as per the plan. She looked really uncomfortable and Nabishi suggested this karaoke bar for dinner. There were some mechanical problems with the subway. So we walked and didn't get there until past seven. Nabishi really wanted to do karaoke, but there was such a long list by that point that we had to wait until almost nine." She took a sip of pop, obviously uncomfortable with what she was to say next. "Nabishi had been drinking, it was a bar, and well, he really enjoyed the singing and wanted to stay. I suppose I should have gone then, but I didn't feel comfortable leaving him. He had had a bit too much to drink by that point."

"Not surprising," said Fukutami, "he's a pretty cheap drunk."

"It got to be pretty late before he was willing to leave. Lucky for me the trains were back in service by that point, but I wanted to make sure he got home okay. So it was quite late when I got home. I was so tired, I just wanted to fall asleep, that's why I didn't want to talk then." She smiled, "Good thing I'm not really dating him, huh?"

_She's hiding something_, thought Youji. Carefully he phrased his next question, "So Hirokazu just got drunk and needed to be looked after? That's all?" What a romantic.

Rumi gulped "He threw up a few times," she admitted, dropping her eyes," and, and he tried to kiss me."

"What?" exclaimed Youji.

"Not surprising," said Fukutami.

"What?" Youji turned to stare at her, "You knew Hirokazu was like this?"

"I've heard stories." she replied nonchalantly, "Having Rumi date someone rumored to be dangerous will give Jin even more reason to take her back."

"But we can't let Rumi go out with someone like that!" 

"Hey, calm down, calm down." Soothed Yayoi, "Hirokazu's a puppy dog, perfectly harmless, if you want him to be. I dated him myself once, back when I was in second year. He was drunk, that's all. Keep him away from the booze and everything's fine. Right Rumi? He's never done anything like this when he was sober, has he?"

"No." The reply seemed unsure.

"You're sure, Rumi?" asked Youji.

"I . . ." she paused, "He's sometimes implied things about Jin. Like that he's too poor to treat a date correctly. Or that he has poor bloodline."

"He's just being a snob, Rumi. Think nothing of it." Fukutami assured her, "He's from a rich, lower nobility family. It's the way we talk I'm afraid. I can't remember a single family reunion where my uncle and father didn't spend a good hour complaining about the nouveau riche and how they were all descended from lowly fishermen."

"It is true," admitted Youji, who listened to his grandmother's diatribes on much the same subject. "They're even more vehement if they think the commoners are actual rivals."

"Oh," Rumi looked more relaxed.

"I still don't like that he tried to kiss you, Rumi," Youji said, "I'm thinking we should change the final date."

"No, we can't," said Fukutami, "Your idea is brilliant, Youji."

"But I don't think Rumi should be alone with him." he protested, "You wouldn't be comfortable with that, would you Rumi?"

"Actually," she looked back and forth uneasily, "I wouldn't, sorry Yayoi."

"You just have to appear to be alone," Yayoi insisted. "Jin will never know. Listen, here's what we'll do . . ."

*****

Rumi's heart was racing, her palms sweating, and it was way too hot in her apartment. She wished she'd never agreed to this part of the plan, or maybe she regretted her role in the whole scheme. But there was no backing out now. And even if she could, Rumi wasn't sure she would. Hadn't she said she'd do anything to get Jin back? If this was the price she had to pay, then she should suffer it willingly.

She gave a small, embarrassed smile at her guest, the source of her consternation, sitting opposite from her at the low table. He returned it with a smile, dazzling even in the room's dim lightning.

"Umm, the tea should be ready any moment." She said quickly, trying to hide her unease. "Would you like another cookie, Nabishi?"

"You know," Nabishi replied a shade darkly, "When most girls invite me up for tea and cookies, they don't deliver."

Rumi gulped, fighting the urge to inch back. What was he expecting from her? True, her motives for inviting him up had not been purely culinary in nature, but it wasn't like Yayoi hadn't explained it all to him earlier.

The teapot began its frantic whistling, allowing Rumi to spring up and cross the room. She could feel Nabishi's eyes on her as she fussed with cups and spoons, but the distance at least gave her the illusion of having escaped. Moving slowly and methodically, she steeped the tea, a stalling tactic while she got her thoughts in order.

Where was Youji? He had promised to be there when she brought Nabishi home. She'd given him the keys and everything. Hopefully, he was just running late.

The tea was almost ready. Rumi placed the pot on the small platter and returned to the table. Sitting opposite from Nabishi, she began arranging the cups. She pretended to find the act quite fascinating as an excuse not to meet his eyes. 

"You've had traditional tea ceremony training," Nabishi said as she poured his tea.

"Oh, this isn't tea ceremony at all," said Rumi, glad to converse on a lighter topic.

"I know that," he said, "But it's obvious from your manner and poise that you were trained."

Rumi laughed at the memory. "It was all my mother's idea. Her grandparents were samurai and mom's kind of stuck on the traditional instructions for daughters. I had to take flower arrangement, haiku composition, and calligraphy too." What she had really wanted was to join the soccer team, but her mother had been mortified. How would being able to kick a ball get Rumi a husband, she used to ask. As if that was all that could be expected from a daughter.

At the thought of marriage, Rumi began to feel worried again. Could Nabishi think those skills a qualification for wife-hood? Would he think she was bragging about them to impress him, the way he bragged about his family's wealth and lineage? 

I should have told him I was descended from fishermen and rice farmers, she thought. Where was Youji?

It wasn't quite so bad. Nabishi was perfectly sober tonight, and had apologized for the previous date several times already. And after tonight, she'd never have to date him, never even have to see him again.

When had she begun to loath him, and why? True, he'd been a horrible drunk, and he was conceited and boring. But she'd known people like that before. One of Jin's uncles was renowned for his drunken stupors, and she'd never had a problem with it.

It's because of the deception, she knew it was. At first it had only been lying to Jin and Chiyako, pretending to be happy and in love. But that was okay, hadn't they lied to her? Then it was pretending to the whole school that she and Nabishi were an item. That had been okay as well, it was their choice to gossip. But last week, she'd as much told Yayoi and Youji, who still wasn't here, that she was comfortable around Nabishi, which she certainly was not. And she'd omitted several details of their previous date. Now she was lying to Nabishi, telling him that the other night was forgotten. She hadn't even told her mother that she had broken up with Jin, even agreeing that this summer break they should find out how much a good friend recently spent on her wedding, because it was never too early to plan, just in case.

Was there anyone she wasn't lying to? Herself? _I keep saying the plan will work, that when it's all over Jin will come back to me and we'll be just like we were._ But they wouldn't, because she could never tell him about the plan. There would always be this deception between them.  
"Ouch!" cried Nabishi, snapping her out of her self-flagellation. 

"What?" Rumi asked, jumping up.

But she could already see. Nabishi 's teacup was overturned and the liquid was running over the edge. He was clutching his lower arm, and she could see a brown stain on the cuff.

"Spilled the tea," muttered Nabishi through clenched teeth, "Bloody klutzy of me."

"Happens to everyone." Rumi assured him and leaped quickly to the other side of the room where she kept the first aid box. Fortunately, her mother had agreed to first aid training. Considering the death rate in Akira Kurosawa films, it seemed a lot more useful than calligraphy.

"Here, let me see," she said as she knelt beside him.

Rumi unbuttoned the cuff and rolled it back. His wrist was slightly pink; probably not even a first degree burn. Regardless she thoroughly coated it with salve, twice, just to be sure and wrapped it with almost an entire length of bandage.

"There, that should hold it. Although you should probably see a doctor about it, and soon."

Nabishi nodded and Rumi started to stand, but he took her hand with his unbandaged one, and looked into her eyes. She froze. Where was Youji?

"Rumi," he spoke with a soft voice she hadn't heard before, "thank you. You're a truly good person, you know."

Rumi nodded, agreeing to another lie, wishing he'd let go of her hand. But she really couldn't yank it away now, could she? Nabishi continued:

"I knew you were a good person before we started this charade, but I didn't . . ." he paused and looked to be collecting his thoughts. "I know you'll get Koishikawa-san back. He was a fool to let you get away in the first place. But, but if it doesn't work out, would you, would you consider me a second choice, a consolation prize?"

Rumi was stunned. Nabishi had said something along these lines when he was drunk, but she had put it up to the alcohol. He was dead sober this evening.

"Nabishi," she said, thinking fast. Where was Youji? "You seem like a nice guy. But I'm in love with Jin. I always have been." 

She meant the words, and yet they felt hollow, like one more lie told for convenience sake, to get her out of trouble, once again.

Nabishi's eyes were glistening; was he crying? Great, now she could add breaking a man's heart to her list of ever growing offenses. She wanted to scream, to vomit, and to scrub away at her skin with lye. Where was Youji?

"But he's not as good for you as I am." Nabishi pleaded, holding even more tightly onto her hand so that she couldn't remove it if she wanted to, "I have more money, I can give you so much more. I'll be taking over my father's company some day. It's huge. And even before that, we'll have a big house with servants and we'll go on trips. You'll live a life like you've never had, I promise you."

"Nabishi - " her hand was starting to hurt. Where was Youji?

"You can't love him romantically, you only think you do because you've been together for so long. It's not a passionate love; it's just friendship. Don't you see? That's why he broke up with you. He just loves you as a friend. I'll love you like a boyfriend ought to. I've been trying to tell you that all along, don't you see?"

"Nabi - " she started to say, but he interupted her with a kiss.

It was a hard kiss, unlike any she'd shared with Jin. She could feel his teeth pushing against her lips almost like a bite. He still held her hand, and with his other hand he held onto her sholder, effectively capturing her.

Where the hell was Youji?

"Bleep-bleepity-bleep. Bleep-bleepity-bleep. Bleep-bleepity-bleep. Bleep-bleepity-bleep." Something rang shrilly, electronically and without mercy.

"What the?" Nabishi looked up, relaxing his grip, and Rumi pushed herself back.

She rose shakily to her feet and walked quickly over to Yayoi's desk. It wasn't hard to spot the noise's source, a day glow green key chain ornament in the shape of a misshapen monster with an enormous head and goggle eyes. Rumi pushed his bellybutton and the din stopped.

"It's the signal from Yayoi. He's here." she explained, holding it up for Nabishi to see. "Time to move."

"But-" This time she cut him off.

"He'll be here any second," she snapped, and opened the door.

Sure enough, she could hear sounds from the entryway, and then footsteps on the stairs. 

"Just make it look good," she hissed at Nabishi who had come to stand beside her in the hall. He nodded, and leaned over to kiss her.

Rumi unclenched her teeth. This had to look natural. Natural so that Jin, coming home, would think it was real, and draw whatever conclusions his imagination could devise about what Nabishi was doing, or had been doing, that late at night.

And then, afterwards, when she was alone with him on the train ride home, she could choose whatever lie she wanted to, pull any trick necessary to get him back. 

The sound of steps halted. Rumi and Nabishi finished the kiss. 

"I'll miss you," he said on cue and started out. 

Rumi was supposed to say, "Me too," but the words didn't make it out. Instead she was looking down the hall, at Jin, and past him at Chiyako, returning home with him at this late hour. Nabishi was looking back and forth, confused. Rumi didn't care.

Slowly she stepped back inside and closed the door. Only then did she realize she was crying. When had the tears started?

And why hadn't Youji come?

copyright Kim Smuga-Otto July 2000


	9. Rumi's Bad Day

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 9: Rumi's Bad Day

"What was she doing? What was he doing? You don't think - " Jin stopped pacing in the room and looked at Chiyako, as if willing her to provide an answer.

She could only shrug and shake her head. 

"They probably just wanted to spend some time alone together, to talk." _Just like we were going to_, Chiyako thought ruefully. "Rumi's leaving Sunday too."

"But their clothing was all disheveled, and more importantly, Rumi was crying. You saw that." He returned to walking his path through the room, a difficult process under normal circumstances made even more challenging by some large black boxes Jin's roommate had recently smuggled in "For the vacation."

"Yeah, so they kissed a bit and now she's sad he's leaving. We were planning to do the same. I know I'll probably bawl my eyes out when your train leaves."

Jin halted again, looking over at her for the first time since they got home. His eyes were tender and full of longing. Quietly he sat down beside her at the table and gently took her hand in his.

"I'm sure I won't be dry eyed either. Don't worry, I'll convince my folks to let me come back early. There's no way I'm staying away from you for six weeks, even if it is prime tourist season."

He bent down and kissed her ever so lightly that it felt like mist. She kissed him back, marveling at the tenderness, the pleasure of it all. Never before, not with any of her old boyfriends, even the nice ones like Youji, had kissing been this exquisite. Even two or three weeks away would be unbearable.

She opened her eyes and saw him smiling at her. I want to memorize each feature of that face, she thought, burn it into memory.

Sighing, she nuzzled her head onto his collarbone while he put his arm around her, drawing her in. Their proportions were perfect.

"I know," Jin said softly, stroking her hair, "Why don't you come with me? It's not like we don't have extra rooms."

"Really?" she asked, surprised and excited. 

"Absolutely." His voice echoed her enthusiasm. "I'd love to show you around my town. The mountains are beautiful and I know some hidden hot springs -- hardly anyone ever goes there." 

"It sounds wonderful!" 

"We'll leave together. I'll pick up an extra ticket. Will you have time to pack?"

"No problem I - Oh no," she sighed with disappointment as she remembered, "I have a meeting with our accounting professor on Monday. I need to convince him I'm an ideal candidate for the internship next spring."

"Later in the week then?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure, Tuesday, or even Monday night."

"Excellent, then I can brag about you first."

"Oh, Jin, don't."

"They're going to love you, Chiyako. And then they'll understand why I don't want to hang around all summer."

Chiyako giggled and Jin kissed her quickly, or at least tried to. It extended and might have gone on for some time, if not for the crashing sound heard through the wall. 

It was followed by muffled shouting, a female voice tinged with hysteria. Instantly Jin was up, his head pressed against the wall.

"That's Rumi, I'm sure. But it's two doors down, I can't make out what they're saying."

Chiyako went over beside him. The voice got louder and she almost thought she caught a word or two. Then there was a slam. Jin was moving to check the hall, but Chiyako held him back.

"I don't think she wants to see you right now," she said.

"But -"

"No Jin, not right now. She'd be embarrassed and overly emotional. She needs some time. Later, on the train ride home, you can have a long talk." Was she getting through?

"Alright," he agreed reluctantly. "I just wish she could have gotten involved with someone decent, like Matsuura, or even my roommate. Well, maybe not him. But not Hirokazu-sempai."

Chiyako sighed. "Jin, come, let's sit back down."

He complied, but she could see he was still agitated.

"I mean, what can she see in a guy like that? He's boring, pretentious -"

" - Handsome, rich, and interested in her." Chiyako finished, "He's her rebound. Don't worry too much Jin, I'm sure Rumi will lose interest soon enough. After all, Hirokazu-sempai has some large shoes to fill." She squeezed his had as she said this, and he returned it, distractedly.

"It just that Rumi's incredibly loyal. What if she feels obligated to date him because she feels sorry for leading him on? What if he's one of those clinging guys who never lets go of a girl?"

"That isn't Hirokazu's track record." Chiyako replied.

"So you think he won't get hung up on her?"

"The Hirokazu I dated wasn't interested in long term commitment," she said, putting her arm around Jin, trying to recapture that comfortable position.

At least he wasn't interested in a long-term commitment with her. She remembered their conversation to the word; it had been so humiliating. Hirokazu was wife hunting and she, Chiyako, hadn't made the cut. Oh, but her roommate was another story. Little country mouse Rumi came from a now defunct, formally elite family and so she was ideal. How that had stung. Originally, she'd planned to tell Rumi so that together they could set a trap and make Hirokazu suffer, but a cascade of other events had pushed it from her mind. 

She should have at least warned Rumi, back when they were roommates and friends. But now, how could she? And Jin, she couldn't even tell him. If she did, he'd rush in to protect Rumi. _Would that be so bad?_ Asked a voice in her head.

Maybe not, but what if Rumi gave Jin an ultimatum: Hirokazu or him? What if she tries to get Jin back? 

It was a private fear of Chiyako's, to lose Jin back to his old girlfriend. It was silly and irrational, or so she told herself. But those two had been together for so long, were such good friends. Even if Jin loved her more amorously, as he often told her, would that win out over an old comfortable love from his hometown blessed with appropriate social standing?

Jin took hold of her again, resting his face in her hair.

"You know," he said, his voice no longer strained, "you're so good for me. You relax me and make my troubles go away."

Chiyako swallowed, trying to reciprocate. Willing the doubt and fears back to their hidden spot. She'd need them tucked far away, especially with Jin leaving soon, with Rumi. Somehow, they wouldn't stay put.

*****

Ring.

Click.

"Hello?" It was Fukutami's voice.

"Yayoi-san, is Rumi there?" Youji asked impatiently.

"Youji-kun! Where were you? Rumi just left here in a huff. Boy, I've never seen her so mad."

"She left? Where? When?" he asked.

"About thirty minutes ago. So what happened? She said you never showed up."

"I - I'm really sorry. My sister called. There's a bit of a family emergency." It was an understatement, not quite a lie. "I lost all track of time. Do you know where she went?" 

"Not a clue." She sounded unworried, but it gave him no comfort.

"Why'd she run out?" He had promised to be there Had something happened between her and Hirokazu?

"I can't be sure, but I'd bet money it had something to do with Jin bringing Chiyako home with him."

"He what?"

"Yeah. They showed up at about 11:30, together."

"You don't think Chiyako was going to . . ." Youji's voice faded out. If Jin and Chiyako were this close, then the plan could never succeed.

"Spend the night together?" finished Fukutami, "Possibly. But I think the spectacle of Rumi and Hirokazu making out in the hall dampened any heart fires. She left about five minutes ago."

Youji sighed with relief and felt instant guilt. Rumi had left before Chiyako. She was probably out wandering the city, thinking that, that - his mind blanched from the image. He had to go find her, had to let her know it was all right and that the plan was still on track.

He was about to ask Fukutami again if she had any idea of Rumi's whereabouts, when there was a knock on his door. Youji crossed the room, stretching the telephones cord to its full extension. Peering through the peephole, he saw an enlarged view of Rumi's face. Her eyes were red behind her glasses and her lips set in a tight line.

"Rumi's here, Yayoi-san," he said as he opened the door, "I'll talk to you later."

"What? No, let me talk to Rumi, I want to -" was what Youji heard as he returned the phone to its receiver. Fukutami's presence was not needed. He unplugged the phone, just to be safe.

"That was Yayoi-san," said Youji, "I was just going out to look for you."

Rumi removed her shoes and crossed the room to stand by the window. She drew a deep breath and gave him an accusatory look.

"You weren't there," she said, "You never showed up. You promised me you would."

"I know, I'm sorry," he said. "My sister called, and I know that's no excuse, but she really needed to talk to me. But don't worry. Everything's okay. Yayoi-san said that Chiyako just left the apartment building, so nothing happened."

"Just because nothing happened doesn't mean it's all right, Youji."

"It will be all right, Rumi. The day after tomorrow you and Jin will take the train home and Chiyako will stay in Tokyo. You have all of summer break to convince him that he loves you."

He smiled weakly, hoping he'd reassured her. But she merely snorted and turned away to stare out the window.

"And what if he doesn't love me? What if he really loves Chiyako?"

"Rumi, of course he loves you. How can you doubt it?"

"Like he loves Chiyako? Like a girlfriend? Someone you'd bring home to your apartment at night? I'm not sexy or charming or sophisticated like she is, Youji. I can't compete with someone like that!"

Rumi's back was still to him, but Youji knew from experience what a crying female looked like. In some previous situations he had just held the girl and let her sob until she felt better, but the idea of embracing Rumi right now made him feel uncomfortable. He took a step closer and said:

"You can compete, Rumi. You're pretty. You're smart. You're kind and deep and honest. You just have to have confidence in yourself." He wished she'd turn around so he could see if any of this was getting through to her.

"Do you really believe that, Youji?" Her voice was pleading.

"Of course I do. Why do you think I've been orchestrating this whole scheme if I didn't think you could do it? If I didn't believe that you and Koishikawa were made for each other?"

"There's Chiyako." 

"Yes, there's Chiyako. Who likes me as a friend. Maybe with Jin gone she'll come back to me. Knowing my track record, I'll be supportive and she'll think of me as a brother." He found himself getting angry, for some reason he didn't want to think about his old girlfriend right now. More calmly, he continued, "I'm not doing this because of some unrealistic, romantic hope that Chiyako's going to fall into my arms. I'm doing this because what you and Koishikawa have doesn't happen to everybody, Rumi. That's why it's so special."

"I never asked you to do this for me, Youji."

"Of course you didn't. You're not like Yayoi-san. Truth be told, I started this mainly because I needed a distraction. Something to get my mind off Chiyako. But as it went along, I came to know you, Rumi. You remind me a lot of my sister, of all her good qualities. You're the type of person I hope Emiko grows up to be. And I hope that Emiko can find someone like Koishikawa. I'm probably - what's that psychology word, projecting - but I remember when we four were on that double date, you and Koishikawa were so in synch with each other, so perfectly matched, so truly happy together. The world has far too many unhappy people in it. You can't fault me for wanting to shift the balance, even if it's just by a little."

After a long pause, Rumi turn to face him. Youji's heart skipped a beat; she was smiling. Thank the gods, it couldn't be too bad if she was smiling.

"That was quite the speech."

"Well, saving other people's relationships is my specialty," he said. 

"I can see that. But you should work on getting one of your own, Youji. You're too nice of a guy to be single."

"That's what all my female friends say."

It was a mildly amusing one liner, and they gave it a half laugh, which quickly faded to silence. It occurred to Youji that he had a girl in his apartment, and it was well past midnight. It was a first for him. Rumi dropped her eyes, and stared at the floor, which only made him feel more uncomfortable. He backtracked to a less personal part of the conversation.

"So why were you doubting yourself? Did Hirokazu say something?"

"I don't put stock in what Nabishi says." She replied, evading his question. What wasn't she saying?

"What happened with Hirokazu?" He tried to convey mild curiosity, but he could see her defenses go up immediately.

"If you had been there, you would know."

Guilt surged. "I know. I feel so badly. There's a bit of a family emergency-"

"Emergency?" Rumi's angry tone disappeared and her face took on a concerned look, "Not your sister Emiko?"

"No, no. It's my grandmother. She's . . . " he didn't want to bother her with the details. "She's sick."

"I'm so sorry, Youji."

He shrugged. "My father's out of the country right now, so I need to return home and get things in order. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? But what about Jin? I can't-"

"Don't worry, it's a 4:00 PM train. You can meet me at the station, say quarter to, and we can go over any last minute plans, okay?"

She agreed, although her confidence seemed to have faded. He wanted to ask her about Hirokazu, to find out what had happened. It was obviously the reason she'd left her apartment and the source of her anger.

And that was precisely the reason he didn't bring it up as he walked her part of the way home. There was no denying that had he been in her apartment as promised, nothing would have happened. And while he had a good reason, the explanation would take far more time than they had. Besides, she'd end up feeling pity for him, something he very much loathed. 

Rumi was going to be on her own soon. Away from him, and thankfully away from Hirokazu. Maybe a little anger was what she needed.

*****

When Jin left home for college, the last thing he thought he'd miss were the chores, especially the backbreaking ones like splitting wood to heat the sauna. But just now he found himself longing for some activity that involved pounding, tearing and destroying. 

He had gone to the tennis courts to gather information on Rumi's new beau, hoping to find out that tennis captain was a great guy. A safe, responsible and sensitive sort of fellow who would be perfect for Rumi. But each response he got seemed more disturbing then the last.

"President Hirokazu? We went out twice when I was a freshman. He may be a flirt, but he certainly can choose some good restaurants."

"I don't know what's so special about the guy. If he weren't so rich the girls wouldn't be half so interested in him."

"Just keep your girlfriend away from him. He stole mine, and dumped her not more than a month later."

"All I'll say is, dating Nabishi was a learning experience, a real learning experience."

Rumi was too smart to fall for such a guy, wasn't she? Surely she'd wise up soon enough on her own. But doubts kept nagging him. She's on the rebound, he told himself, and she's never dated anyone else. 

According to the schedule, Hirokazu should be starting a match soon. Jin headed to the locker rooms to have a chat with the guy. He had hurt Rumi, that was true. But he wasn't about to stand by and let some other guy do the same. There were times when Jin didn't worry about the logic behind his actions.

So intent was he on his reasoning that he almost walked past the young man gathering together tennis supplies in the hall.

"Matsuura-san." Jin said.

Chiyako's ex-boyfriend jumped, spilling racquets every which way. "Koishikawa-san. You startled me. Do you have a match today?"

"No, just some errands." As Jin bent down to help gather the tennis equipment, a thought came to his mind. "Listen, Matsuura-san, can you do me a favor just now?"

"Umm, possibly. What do you need?"

"Well, I need to talk to someone right now, and I'd appreciate it if you'd come along," said Jin.

"Well, sure." Matsuura looked relieved. "Do you want me to do anything else?"

"Just make sure I keep a level head. And maybe stop me from hitting him."

"Okay."

"But only if he doesn't deserve it."

Jin didn't want to explain, and thankfully, Matsuura seemed content not to ask. They proceeded into the locker room, where Jin was glad to see Hirokazu almost immediately.

"Excuse me, captain," he said with a politeness he didn't feel.

"Ah, underclassman Koishikawa and underclassman Matsuura, good to see you both."

"Captain Hirokazu," said Jin, "I have a question for you."

"Oh, well, ask and I'll try to do my best to answer it."

"What are your intentions towards Yamashita Rumi?"

"Yamashita Rumi?" Hirokazu paused as if considering. "Why, I plan to marry her."

"What?" cried Jin and Matsuura together.

Hirokazu looked from one to the other. "Only if she'll have me," he said. "I'm still working on that part."

"You can't be serious," said Matsuura.

"Completely. I'm a senior, it's time for me to find a wife and Rumi-chan is a perfect choice."

Jin was barely listening, his head still whirling from Hirokazu's reply. Images of Rumi horribly misused and abandoned were replaced by a pregnant housewife Rumi surrounded by children of various heights. Not that Rumi wouldn't make a excellent mother, someday. Not yet, though.

"But she's still a freshman," said Jin. 

"There's no law against a married woman attending school."

"But, she won't have time to do housework or cook." Odd, that was precisely the argument Jin had used on his mother when she had suggested he start saving up for an engagement ring.

Hirokazu looked offended. "Do you think I'd have my wife doing housework? We'd have a maid, I assure you." 

"But, but," Matsuura-san kept glancing at Jin, "There will be so many disappointed young women."

"I'm afraid they'll have to get over it, Matsuura-san," said Hirokazu. "I'll admit, I wasn't that serious when I started dating Rumi. But she's a remarkable woman, very cultured and beautiful. When I realized what a marvelous wife and mother she'd make, well, I would have been a fool to let her go. Wouldn't you agree, Koishikawa-san?"

"I-" his mind was racing. Could Rumi marry such a man? So quickly after meeting him? Relationships take time, he had always thought. But didn't his own experience with Chiyako prove differently?

"You're serious?" he asked.

The tennis captain nodded once.

"When, when are you going to propose?" Jin asked.

"After summer break, early autumn at the latest. Like I said, I still have to prove myself to her. I suppose I should be rather angry at you Koishikawa-san; you set some fairly high standards for me."

"Rumi deserves the best," was all he could think to say.

"I won't disagree." Hirokazu turned on his trademark smile, showing off his perfectly straight, sparkling white teeth. "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss with me? If not, I do have a tennis match scheduled."

"No, that fine," said Jin, and the tennis captain took his leave.

No one spoke for a good minute. Finally, Matsuura broke the silence.

"I wouldn't have stopped you from hitting him," he said.

"Really? He sounded quite sincere," said Jin, feeling unnerved.

"I'm sure he was, but, didn't it seem to you like he was talking about Ru- I mean Yamashita-san like she was a piece of furniture? Someone to marry because she'll host good dinner parties and raise well behaved children?"

Thinking back on the conversation, Jin could see Matsuura's point. He nodded.

"Of course," Matsuura continued, "that's what a fair number of women want out of a relationship."

"Not Rumi," said Jin.

"Really?"

"Of course not. She never wanted to be just a wife and mother. She came to college to become a chemist, not to find a husband."

"Well," said Matsuura slowly, "I suppose she thought she already had found a husband." He jerked his head up suddenly. "I- Koishikawa-san, pardon me, I didn't mean to imply . . ."

"It's okay," Jin said. "It's something I'll have to consider. Rumi and I will be traveling home tomorrow. It will give us a chance to talk. I think there's some things we need to get straight."

"That sounds good. Now if you don't mind, I have an appointment I need to get to."

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Said Jin, "You're having lunch with Chiyako today, aren't you?"

"Just a quick tea, really," said Matsuura, "I'm catching a train later on today, and still have a few things to pack."

"Don't I know that feeling." 

Matsuura turned to go and was almost gone when Jin spoke again.

"Matsuura-san. Just a minute. Umm, you've been spending a lot of time with Rumi recently."

"Yes, a bit." Matsuura replied, not turning around.

"I was just wondering, do you think she could actually be serious about Hirokazu-san? I mean, he is rich and handsome and all."

There was a pause, and then Matsuura turned to face him. "I think Yamashita-san's smart enough to see Hirokazu's faults behind his outward charms. But, it's been my own personal experience that girls can easily overlook a lot in their boyfriends. It all depends on what they really want."

Matsuura finished with an apologetic shrug, and, seeing Jin had nothing more to say, left.

_It all depends on what they really want._ Jin repeated the phrase. What did Rumi really want. A few months ago he would have known without a doubt, but now. . . Did Matsuura know? Had there been some subtext to Matsuura's odd reply? He tried to remember the exact phrasing but couldn't. It only made him more sure he'd missed something vital.

Sighing, he headed off for home; he hadn't even begun to pack. His watch read quarter past twelve. Twenty-one hours. He hoped it was enough.

Summer had definitely arrived in Tokyo, and Jin bet it would be scorching soon. No wonder everyone vacationed in the country. Of course, it meant that summer was firmly entrenched in his brain as a time of extra work, not relaxation. One of these days he longed to experience the other side of the hospitality. Maybe when Chiyako came to visit they could take a vacation of their own.

It was a pleasant thought, but his mind kept going back to his recent encounter with Hirokazu. The guy was a pompous idiot, that much Jin was sure of, almost. Matsuura, had felt the same. He was a non-partial observer, and, Jin suspected, probably far more intelligent about such things.

How come some guys were so observant, when Jin felt like he had to get hit by a two by four before he picked up on even the most obvious things? He remembered Matsuura mentioning having a sister and grandmother; could that be the difference?

It made Jin wish he had had a sister, or at least some female influences in his life. Out of his multitude of cousins, there was a single girl, and Himeko had been such a tomboy, she put the rest of them to shame. There were his mother and aunts, but they seemed to keep any brilliant feminist insight to themselves. Or maybe he should have had hung out in the kitchen instead of playing baseball at family reunions.

Odd that a guy like Matsuura shouldn't have a girlfriend. Jin would have thought they'd be standing in line, which was just more evidence that he didn't understand women. 

Too bad Rumi couldn't fall for Matsuura. It would be a good match, he figured. Besides his intelligence, he was witty and sincere, all the things Hirokazu wasn't. Maybe on the way home Jin could plant some ideas in Rumi's head about such a possible relationship.

He almost laughed out loud; he'd screw it up for sure. Still, the idea itself was sound. Maybe if Chiyako helped him out. . . He'd have to mention it to her tonight. It could be a team effort, maybe he'd even be able to rope Yayoi in on it. It made him think of some of the TV shows he'd seen.

He spent the rest of the way home spinning out episodes, each less feasible than the last, but all entertaining. As he entered his apartment building Jin was in quite good spirits. It was particularly noisy around here today he noted, probably due to all the students leaving on holiday. 

"Koishikawa-san," said a voice behind him, "Just the kind, caring, and helpful man I wanted to see."

He turned to see Fukutami Yayoi, her small frame nearly doubled over under the four suitcases she was carrying.

"I have to catch my train in half an hour. It's the only one that will get me to the airport in time to catch my flight to Hawaii. I've never been to Hawaii before; I may never go again. Please, oh please, help me."

"I'd love to Fukutami-san, but I've got to pack still. I'm leav-"

"Save your breath, Jin," said Rumi, appearing behind her roommate, another three suitcases in hand. "I tried the same excuse. She claims it's our duty as underclassman to assist her."

"I bribed you as well," said Fukutami. "Jin, help me out and I'll bring you back a coconut. They're all the rage."

Without waiting for his reply, she handed him two bags and strapped another to his back. They were suprisingly heavy.

"What did you pack?" he asked.

"Everything," said Rumi, shuffling bags with Fukutami while slipping into her shoes. "The apartment's practically empty."

"For the next month," said Fukutami, "I will be creative. And as I don't know what turn my creativity will take, I have to be prepared. Photography, writing, painting-"

"Sunbathing, nightclubbing, and shopping," finished Rumi. "I swear I saw her pack the feather duster."

Being late was almost Jin's second nature, but the mad dash across most of Tokyo was the most surreal experience. Fukutami, by sheer determination alone, managed to dive through the crowds creating eddies of commuters in her wake. It took all of Jin's swiftness and dexterity to keep up with her.

He alternated between cursing her under his breath, and practically gasping in awe as she led them through the twists and turns of the Tokyo subway system, every few minutes calling off the time remaining until her flight departure. 

Other than these reminders, she made no acknowledgement of them. Jin almost didn't make it onto one of their subway connections and wondered what Fukutami would do if she found herself minus her entourage when she reached the airport. But she must have been paying more attention than he thought as she was first to Rumi's side when she tripped and fell.

It was a most spectacular tumble and with luggage somersaulting everywhere. The largest piece sprung open, scattering embarrassing feminine undergarments every which way to the delight of a crowd of junior high school boys. It turned out that Fukutami had a thing for polka-dots.

Fortunately, Rumi was unharmed, Fukutami had packed duct tape and after a bit of stuffing and repair work, they were on their way.

"I just know one of those prepubescent twerps made off with my good bra," Fukutami complained as they waited for the airport shuttle. "Don't roll your eyes at me Koishikawa, those things are expensive."

"I'm sure it's going to a good home." Jin replied, keeping a straight face. "You sure you'll be okay from this point on?"

"Of course, that's what porters and large tips are for. Jin, Rumi, thanks again so much. You're each getting two coconuts for this."

"Do you think she'll have enough room to bring them back?" whispered Jin as Fukutami boarded the shuttle.

"I don't even want to imagine," said Rumi out of the side of her mouth while she waved goodbye to her roommate.

Despite it being almost two, Jin felt almost no stress as they started for home. It was amazing how easy it was to step onto even a crowded subway when your hands were free of luggage.

It was more than the lack of baggage. Jin was with Rumi and, for the first time in ages, he wasn't feeling guilty or embarrassed. Perhaps it had something to do with their manic rush across the city. It reminded him of the mishaps they used to get into as kids.

"I hope we don't cut it that close tomorrow." Jin said.

"It will probably be worse," said Rumi. "We're leaving at 9 am. And I think Yayoi packed my alarm clock by accident."

"Shall I knock on your door?" 

"That would be appreciated," she said, "although, you're such a night owl these days, I'm not sure I can rely on you."

There was a teasing tone in her voice, and Jin couldn't help but reply:

"You're the one who was out to past one last night."

Her head snapped about to stare at him "How would you know?" She asked, all amusement gone.

"I-" Jin paused, unsure what to tell her. Might as well go with the truth. "I waited up for you. There's a window up on the third floor, by the stairs. It gives a good view of the front pathway."

Rumi nodded, but still looked tense.

"I didn't mean to," Jin continued, "but I overheard you leaving. It was so late, and your father swore he'd hunt me down with the family's old samurai sword if anything happened to you."

"If he could find it. Mom hid it well after that time she caught us playing honorable suicide with it," she said, slowly relaxing. "Both my parents are so certain that Tokyo is filled with muggers and deviants, lurking behind every bush in the park, ready to jump out at any unaccompanied female. I think they watch too many police dramas."

Rumi smiled, and Jin gave a polite chuckle; they turned to stare out the window at the passing tunnels. Jin's mind was elsewhere, trying various ways to phrase the questions that came to mind. Had Rumi been wandering the around the park? Had she been unaccompanied? Did she know Hirokazu intended to propose to her? He couldn't ask Rumi that, but maybe he could subtly guide the conversation. Offhandedly he said;

"It must have been chilly last night. If you were out walking the whole time."

Rumi gave him a measured look. "Did my father also request you to give him detailed reports?"

"No, of course not." He cursed himself for being so obvious. "But I am allowed to be concerned for you, right?"

Rumi's eyes narrowed to slits. The hairs on the back of Jin's neck went spiky and, old childhood reflexes coming into play, he took a step back.

"You dumped me. You started dating my roommate. Maybe you're allowed to be concerned for me, Jin. But I don't think I have to be impressed by your concern." 

More than the words, it was Rumi's tone that started air raid sirens screaming through Jin's brain.

"I-"

"What makes you think you can act all considerate now?" Rumi had taken a step towards him and was looking furiously into his eyes. This time Jin held his ground and in a fierce whisper , replied:

"I don't know. I was hoping we could go back to being friends."

Rumi didn't blink, and just to spite her, Jin didn't either. If it was a staring contest she wanted, then a staring contest she would have. It was all a matter of self control, of keeping one's mind on track and ignoring the outside world. When Jin, age 11, had figured that out, he had been undefeatable, especially against the easily distractible Rumi.

Their competition was not going unnoticed; Jin could feel the other passengers' attention on them, obviously forming their own opinions of the arguing couple. Let them think what ever they want, Jin thought brashly.

It was all Rumi's fault, anyway. She had certainly started it with her outburst. Where had that come from anyway? If she was really that mad at him, then she would have brought it up earlier. Maybe she was just stressed about the trip tomorrow, or maybe something had happened between her and Hirokazu. A flashback of last night's scene danced through his mind and it was all he could do to ignore the thought and concentrate on not blinking.

"Next stop, Kuzehome plaza. Please be prepared for the car to stop." the recorded voice singsonged cheerfully. Almost as soon as the announcement was over the train lurched most ungracefully. Jin, holding tightly to the upper bar held his ground and his stare.

Not so with Rumi, who staggered, blinked and even looked away. Jin smiled on reflex, regretting it immediately as Rumi scowled and took off out the door.

"Wha- Rumi!" Jin called, barely making it through the doors as they closed.

She ignored him and walked quickly up the nearest stairs, leaving Jin to follow.

"Rumi. Rumi, where are you going? Rumi. Rumi. Rumi!"

It had nearly broken the soccer coach's heart when Mrs. Yamashita had forbidden her daughter's joining the school team. Without a doubt, Rumi had been the best sprinter in the middle school, and, as Jin barely kept up with her, it was evident she hadn't slowed down with age. She took another staircase up and continued to speed-walk through a narrow passage way.

"Rumi," Jin said as he continued to try to stay with her without breaking into a run, "Rumi. Yamashita Rumi. Ru-chan!"

The sound of her hated childhood nickname brought Rumi to a sudden stop. She whirled around and stomped her foot. 

"You promised never to call me that again, Jin! You're a big liar!"

Jin had a retort, but found he couldn't catch his breath and so Rumi continued her rant.

"Nothing but a big liar. You told me you'd always like me, too!"

"I never stopped liking you!"

"Yeah right, that's why you've been completely avoiding me."

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone. You can't have it both ways, Rumi. Do you want to be friends again or not?"

Rumi's lips froze, holding back her retort. Jin, his breathing returning to normal, waited.

"I don't know if people can go back to being friends after they've been dating."

"Why not?"

"Because they've built up relationship roles that act contrary to the roles required for a friendship and stuff. I read about it in Cosmo."

"What roles?" Jin asked, feeling confident. Even with his limited experience, he could beat a Cosmo article's logic. "How are our relationship roles different from our friendship roles? We can still talk, still argue, still have fun together."

"Still kiss?" she shot back.

"Do you want to kiss me?" Jin asked, perhaps a tad to cocky.

"I'd rather kiss Captain Hirokazu."

That image waylaid Jin's next thoughts. Rumi's also, he noted as they stood in silence.

"Well," he said finally, "If that's the case then there really isn't any problem, is there? Rumi?"

Rumi was looking slightly dazed.

"Uh, Rumi?" Jin waved a hand in front of her face. "Earth to Rumi."

Rumi blinked a few times and then shook her head in a peculiar manner, like she was shaking water out her ears. She looked up at him, an almost manic smile gracing her face.

"You're absolutely right, Jin." When he gave her a look of incomprehension, she added, "Let's be friends."

"Yes, yes. Let's be friends. And let's talk, there's-"

"Why do we need to talk Jin?" Rumi asked quizzically.

"Well, I mean we've obviously been miscommunicating and," Rumi was still giving him a look of incomprehension and it was derailing his logic, "so we should . . .talk." he finished lamely.

"Let me think about that for a while, okay?" and before he could reply, she rushed in with, "But first, do you have any idea where we are?"

He looked around at the completely unfamiliar station. He couldn't even remember what the announcement had called it.

"Guess we better try to find a map, huh?"

Thankfully, that proved fairly easy.

"We can take the green line for a few stops to get back to the red line and then straight to the apartment. Simple, right Rumi?"

"Yeah, but I'm taking the orange." Rumi said, "I'm meeting Youji before he goes home. Orange will take me to the main train station fastest."

"Youji? You mean Matsuura-san?"

"Yep," she said in a chipper voice. "Yayoi insists that we call each other since we're partners."

"Oh, you mean study partners. For you math and chemistry classes."

"Yeah, that's right," said Rumi, sounding slightly pensive to Jin's ears. "Well, green's that way. See you tomorrow."

And with that she was gone. Jin eyes wandered lazily about the station, until his eyes caught sight of the clock. 3:13. 

He was never going to have time to pack.

*****

"One of my mother's many rules for an uncomplicated life is to never date anyone you live near to. For," here Chiyako's voice took on the preachy lilt of a Buddhist monk, "The nearness will only be a convenience when you are in love. Afterwards, when the relationship has ended, it will turn into, at best an irritating reminder of your foolishness, and at worst an all consuming distraction to your future happiness. I didn't believe her, but I bet Jin spent the entire night with his ear pressed to the wall, waiting for Rumi to come back. Looks like mom was right again."

"Got to hate it when that happens," agreed Youji as he finished his tea. He tried to sound sympathetic, all the harder, considering what he had just heard. 

The staged kiss had worked even better than he anticipated. By Chiyako's account it had upset Koishikawa to the point of distraction, thoroughly disrupting their late night plans. 

No wonder Koishikawa had been so keen to talk to the tennis captain this morning. Hirokazu's marriage act, which had surprised even Youji, had thoroughly rattled him. Add in Youji's own subtle hints and there was no doubt the plan would succeed.

Tomorrow on the train, Rumi and Koishikawa would have a heart to heart talk. And when he objected to Rumi's relationship, she'd give him the ultimatum. Come back to her, or she'd marry Hirokazu. Youji had no doubt which Koishikawa would choose when Rumi put it to him like that. True love would win out, Chiyako would be hurt, but might come out the wiser and he himself. . .

He supposed he could pursue Chiyako, but the desires that had burned so strongly a month ago seemed past rekindling. Friendship seem a nicer alternative now. He was content with the plan's success, and his role as master orchestrator, unnoticed by most of the players. He'd get to tell his sister, Emiko, at least.

Still, one part of Chiyako's story hadn't made sense.

"You said something about Yamashita-san crying. Are you sure?" he asked, hoping he didn't look overly interested. Could this have been what upset Rumi so much last night?

"Yeah, can you believe, crying over upperclassman Hirokazu? Boy, I thought Rumi was brighter than that."

"Well, like you told Koishikawa-san, rebound and all." Youji said.

"I'm sure Hirokazu has made his intentions clear by this point. If Rumi is still with him then she must be open to marrying him."

"Ma- Marrying?'

"Yeah, can you believe a man in this modern day, searching out a woman based purely on her ancestors? What a loser."

"When did you hear this?" Youji's surprise was real _How long had Hirokazu been spreading those rumors?_

"Ages ago, that one time I dated him. All he did was try to pump me for information on Rumi. For the life of me I don't know what Rumi sees in him. Besides being handsome and rich. . . Oh, did I just answer my own question?"

Youji wasn't even pretending to listen. His mind was racing. If this was true, then Hirokazu hadn't been acting this morning, and the evaluation Youji had invented to spur Koishikawa on had been quite correct.

What was to stop a traditionalist like Hirokazu from sending a matchmaker straight to Rumi's parents and requesting their daughter directly? And Rumi's parents, what would be their response? If Rumi's descriptions weren't too exaggerated, then they'd probably seriously consider the suitor. Especially if Koishikawa was clearly out of the picture.

The plan had suddenly taken on a new urgency. He glanced at his watch, if he left now, he'd get to the station a good fifteen minutes before Rumi, but if she was early-

_Yeah, right, Rumi being early._

__So he ended up listening to Chiyako recall even more damning rumors about Hirokazu. Some, including the one involving two home economics teachers, couldn't possibly be true, but plenty were plausible. And Fukutami Yayoi had felt Hirokazu would be a good fake boyfriend. Youji would have sworn never to forgive her, but he knew he had been just as much at fault for not checking out the guy personally.

Thankfully, he was soon able to excuse himself and head for the station. He had packed light and it was quite easy to get to his platform. Rumi was standing there, making him feel even more guilty, if that was possible.

She spotted him immediately, slightly skipping as she ran to meet him.

"Youji."

"Rumi." they spoke simultaneously. Youji motioned for her to go first.

"I, um, saw Jin today. And we talked, and I, I realized, um, um. . ."

"Yes?" Youji prompted. Say that you set up to have a heart to heart with him tomorrow on the train, he silently pleaded.

". . .and I realized, I'm not in love with him." She finished, her eyes gleaming.

"What!?" Today was obviously Spring-Surprises-on-Youji day.

"Funny huh? I don't know why I didn't realize it earlier, or at least I didn't at the time. But I've been thinking about it and I-"

"Rumi, you can't be serious."

"Of course I'm serious. I don't know why I didn't-"

"Rumi, I don't believe what I'm hearing."

"Well, Youji," she said a bit tartly, "Maybe that's because you keep interrupting me."

"This isn't a joking matter, Rumi. Did you know Hirokazu's serious about marrying you?" He tried to keep his tone even, and succeeded, barely.

"Yes. And you should have figured it out too, Youji. He isn't too subtle."

"If he isn't subtle now, imagine what he'd do if he heard you now."

"So. I don't care."

"You should," he snapped, annoyed by her flippancy, "If you throw away your chance with Koishikawa, you'll have no excuse to avoid his advances."

"I'm sure we can find another excuse." She was almost smiling.

"Do you think I spent all this time helping you out so that you could screw it up when we've all but got you and Jin back together? Are you that stupid? Why do think I was doing this?" 

A shocked look had replaced Rumi's near grin. Youji felt instantly sorry for his insult, but her juvenile attitude had been so frustrating. Did she really have so little regard for all he'd done this last month?

"I had a theory," she said levelly, "But I guess I was wrong."

"What theory?"

"Oh, you're so smart about relationships, Youji," she snapped, "I'm sure you'll have no trouble figuring it out."

"What are you talking about, Rumi?" he tried to ask, but his voice was drowned out by the entering train.

"You better board, Youji."

"Wait, Rumi. Tell me what's going on here."

"Nothing, obviously," she said, "I'm just so sorry that the way things stand you won't get Chiyako back."

"I don't want Chiyako back. I told you."

"I'm not dumb enough to fall for that a second time. Goodbye, Youji."

With that, she spun around and walked quickly away.

The intercom was calling for passengers to board, and more confused than ever, Youji yielded to the polite request.

*****

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Rumi repeated the condemnation to herself as she headed up the stairs that led to the station's exit. She needed air. She needed time to think. She needed to bash her head against the wall for being so stupid. No, stupid wasn't a good enough insult. For being a . . .stupid-head, couldn't she even think of a better insult for herself?

How could she have misread Youji so pathetically? Of course he was in love with Chiyako. Who wouldn't be? 

Earlier today, when she brushed off Jin, she had been convinced that Youji had cared. So many things had pointed to it. The way he'd helped her out that night in the karaoke bar, the time he'd devoted to planning out their scheme, the fact that he'd put up with Yayoi, never once complaining about all the time the three had spent together. Obviously, now, it was just wistful conjuncture on her part.

But what about the previous night, argued one last small voice of resistance, at his apartment when he'd given her such self confidence. He'd said she was kind and honest, and pretty. And the look he gave her, the one that had made her heart beat faster, surely she hadn't imagined it.

Big stupidhead, he'd just been using her. Yayoi was right, men were jerks.

No, she found she couldn't raise a good anger against him. Look at how she'd been willing to deceive Jin just because she had convinced herself that she really loved him. 

And she had no sooner realize that, than she fixated on Youji. Better watch it, at this rate she'd convince herself she was in love with Hirokazu Nabishi.

"Hah," Rumi tried to laugh, but it emerged a hoarse gasp. She wouldn't cry in public. But already she could feel her eyes start to water.

Big, big stupidhead.

Head up, she made her way out of the station. There was a park just down the way and across the street. Just get there, sit down and she'd be okay. No, she wouldn't be okay, but she'd be better. 

Her cheeks were wet now. People were probably staring at her, making her thankful her vision was blurring. There was a mass of green ahead of her, almost to the park now.

She was the idiot cat in the cartoons. All this time she'd been holding up this lie of her love of Jin, carefully deceiving even herself so that she could be close to Youji. And now when she figured out her own feelings, he felt nothing for her. Big, big, big stup-

"Hey watch out!" she heard and she jerked her head up from her musings.

Blurred objects resolved themselves into a scooter, rider and a number of tied down boxes, all just a few feet from her. Even as she stepped back, she could see the driver turn the handlebars to force the vehicle behind her. Too late to dodge further, she heard the brakes screech, saw the bike swing about, and felt the force of it slam into her, knocking her backwards. Pain shot out from the back of her head as it slammed against the pavement and silver gray triangles raced out across her field of vision.

_I wonder if I'm going to die?_ she thought serenely. It was an important idea and she realized that she should really try to concentrate on it. But instead, her thoughts turned to the driver of the scooter. He seemed familiar, very familiar.

Then she lost consciousness.

copyright Kim Smuga-Otto July 2000


	10. Scenes from the Hospital

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 10: Scenes from the Hospital

"May I help you?" The nurse's voice was calm, controlled, suggesting she dealt with people whose loved ones were possibly dead or dying every day.

Which, Jin realized, was almost certainly the case. _I'm not thinking straight._ But how was he to think straight, with Rumi possibly de -- No, he couldn't think that, wouldn't think that.

The nurse was looking at him expectantly. Her professionalism asserting that this was real, not the nightmare that he so desperately wished it to be."Excuse me," he wanted to say, "I know you're busy, but, you see, my ex-girlfriend, her name's Yamashita Rumi, she was hit by a motor scooter and brought to this hospital about an hour ago. I know you want immediate family, but hers don't live in Tokyo. They're coming, but in the meantime, can you tell me anything about her condition? You see she's more than just my ex-girlfriend, she's more like a sister. I mean, I can't remember a time I didn't know her and it's true we went through some rough times recently - most all of it being entirely my fault. But I think we have finally worked through it, and I just really have to know if she's going to be alright. Because if she isn't . . .if she . . .if . . ."

No, that wasn't the impression he wanted to make. Jin took a breath. And, while he ordered his thoughts for a competent and intelligible response, his companion stepped up to the counter, commanding the woman's attention.

"Miss Nurse, Miss Nurse. We're here about the girl who was hit by a scooter. Her name is Yamashita Rumi and this is her boyfriend, or was, and I'm Toshio Okada, the guy who hit her with my scooter, only its not mine I just borrowed it. And I'm not that good at driving it, which was why it hit her; I didn't realize who she was until afterwards. I told the paramedic that I was her ex-boyfriend's roommate and they said that I should find one of her relatives and leave them to do their job. So I brought Koishikawa-san here, who's as close to a relative as I could find because they're not from Tokyo. So tell me, is she alive? Please don't say I killed her!"

The nurse's smile held, but just barely. Jin could tell by twitching of her forehead. She turned to him, speaking hesitantly, just in case he was a basketcase as well.

"There was a young woman brought in about an hour ago who had been hit by a vehicle. You know her?"

"Yes, ma'am" Jin said, hoping he sounded rational and responsible. 

It appeared he did, as the nurse nodded and whipped out a clipboard complete with forms and pen.

"Could you possibly fill these out? You can take a seat over there." Indicating a waiting room down the hall.

"Uh, yeah. But what about Rumi? Can't I see her?"

"I have to ask her doctor first, I'm sorry." The nurse dropped her eyes.

Panic seared through Jin's brain. "At least tell me if she's okay," he begged.

"I can't -""Please." _Why the secrecy? Why can't they tell me? Unless . . . unless something's really wrong._

The nurse bit her lip and there was a long pause before she said, "She's unconscious, but we think she'll be okay."

Okay. Okay. Okay. She'll be okay. Jin repeated the words, savoring them. He'd been so afraid for the last half-hour. Afraid Rumi would be dead or worse yet, a vegetable. Afraid that he'd never be able to talk or laugh or argue with her again. But she'd be okay. Okay.

"Did'ja hear that?" his roommate practically squeaked, "I didn't kill her."

"Now if you could just fill out those forms and return them," the nurse was saying," then I'll get the doctor and see if we can let you in to see her."

Jin nodded, "I'll fill them out right away."

He marched over to waiting room, hoping his eagerness and resolve would impress the nurse enough to get the doctor right away.

"This is just so great," Toshio said. "I mean I shouldn't have been so worried. People don't die from being hit by a moped. A motorcycle yes, especially one of those enormous American ones, you know, the pigs."

Jin grunted, only half listening. Toshio could carry on a completely one-sided conversation for quite some time. Once, as an experiment, Jin had timed him. Two hours and fourteen minutes on the role of the American Soviet Cold War and its effects on the occupation.

"Man, I am so glad Koinosuke didn't loan me one of those things. Not that Ako has a pig, or that he'd lend it to me if he did. Good thing, mopeds are dangerous enough, I've learned my lesson. I'm never driving that thing on the sidewalk again. I swear . . . "

_I can't believe the cops only let him off with a ticket_, thought Jin. Of course, if they had hauled him off to the station, then Jin might not have known anything was amiss until he was ready to leave the next morning.

Time to get these forms filled out. The first section was all general information. Name - Yamashita Rumi.

" . . .glad I was only going about 15 km per hour. But at the time of the accident, Koishikawa-san, you know, I really thought I might have killed her."

"So you said, numerous times." Jin muttered. 

Address - did they want her parents or her Tokyo one? Jin decided to wait and ask them.

" . . .cause there was just blood everywhere. And Yamashita-san wasn't moving. She was just lying there . . ."

Gender - Female. Occupation - Student. Age - 20. _I'm concentrating so hard on filling in the blanks, I'm not hearing a word he's saying. Really._

" . . .and then this woman started getting hysterical and started screaming that I was a hit and run driver. I wasn't running, I was standing right there . . ."

Birthday - June 8th. Three weeks ago. Jin had bought her a card, but hadn't been comfortable enough to send it. When Rumi got out of the hospital, he would give it to her. They'd be real friends again.

" . . . and this old guy grabbed my arm and said he was making a citizen's arrest and not to mess with him because he was a high judo master or something. Crazy coot, I bet I've seen enough Jackie Chan movies to take him on . . ."

The next section was entitled medical background. Blood type - B. He'd done enough of those personality tests with Rumi to know that one without thinking.

" . . .and he took on the whole gang with sports equipment. The hula-hoop move was the greatest. I don't know why he doesn't make an American movie. He'd be cheap too, because they wouldn't have to hire a stunt double . . ."

Operations, types and date - hadn't Rumi gotten her tonsils or appendix out in third grade? Skip for now. Allergies - hayfever, he thought. Vaccination record. Jin flipped through the pages; there were four more.

_A good man admits when he is defeated_.Jin sighed and started digging in his pocket for quarters; he was going to have to call for help on this one. Maybe he could handle finding a phone. 

" . . .Pow. And then -"

"Toshio-san," Jin said as he stood up and scanned the room, "I've got to make a call."

"Huh? Why -"

"Koishikawa-kun." said a female voice behind him.

It was Fukutami Yayoi, sans luggage but otherwise unchanged from this afternoon when he and Rumi had bid her goodbye. _All that work, and she still missed her flight?_

"I just heard from the landlord." she said, "Is Rumi-chan okay?"

"Fukutami-san?" said Jin, "but I thought you were on your way to Hawaii."

"Oh, I got the days confused." She fluttered a hand in the air absentmindedly. "I don't leave until tomorrow. Lucky they agreed to check in my bags. I almost stayed at the airport hotel. Good thing I didn't. Was Rumi-chan really hit by a truck?"

"No, a motor scooter."

"My motor scooter." said Toshio as she stood up. "It was all my fault. I take complete responsibility."

"Do I know you?" Asked Fukutami, finally noticing Toshio.

"I'm Koishikawa's roommate," he said, looking slightly dejected.

"Really?"

"Yes. I'm Toshio Okada."

"Good for you. Koishikawa-san," she said, turning away from Toshio, "details. I'm an impatient person. Is Rumi alright?"

"She's unconscious right now, and they won't tell me much."

"Did she loose much blood? Did she break any bones? Does she need an organ transplant? Come on Jin, this might be a matter of life or death."

With a sinking feeling, Jin realized that there were worse things that Toshio's monologues. At least they didn't have the spine chilling drama of Fukutami's questions. 

"I don't know. Listen, Fukutami-san, I need to make a phone call. Toshio should be able to help you."

Before she could protest, he was out of his seat and across the room.

"Did you hi t her hard? Like, what was your speed at the time?" Was the last thing he heard; he really didn't want to hear Toshio's response.

*****

"Did you hit her hard? Like, what was your speed at the time?"

Chiyako sunk deeper into her seat behind Toshio, praying that Fukutami wouldn't recognize the back of her head. 

She'd been sitting there for almost an hour, trying to work up the courage to approach the nurse on duty and ask about Rumi, or, failing that, to go home and try to pretend she'd never come. When she'd heard Jin's voice, she's almost stood right then. But he would have wanted to know why she was there, how she'd known about Rumi.

"Well," she'd have to say, "Rumi never changed her address card she kept in her wallet. So the hospital called me. Of course I gave them Rumi's new landlord's number. And then I ran out of the apartment and caught the first subway here because. . .because. . "Because why? She still didn't have a good answer. Curiosity and her impulsive nature were the obvious culprits, and what evidence was there to the contrary?

Not much. According to the rumors flying around campus, after she'd seduced her roommate's almost fiancée she'd kicked Rumi out of the apartment. Recently, she'd been accosted by a gaggle of sophomores asking if she'd indeed pawned the engagement ring that Jin had been supposedly been going to present to Rumi. Chiyako could tell that the ringleader, a mousy tennis player she'd beaten thoroughly the previous week, had made up the story on the spot. Chiyako had almost laughed it off — as far as gossip went, it was pretty tame — but there were the looks the rest of the group was giving her.

They bought it. Chiyako was sure of it. Every word, every detail. After over a month the hearsay had been accepted as fact. It hurt to have acquaintances, and even friends, believe that she was capable of such action.

She told Jin she didn't care. And she didn't, not much, really. Not enough to give up Jin, not enough to make her regret confessing her love to him.

__And it was worth it, every last smirk and sneer they gave her, just as long as he was with her. As long was Jin knew the truth, as long as he knew the real Chiyako. Sometimes she thought he knew the real Chiyako better than she did. He always saw the best in her, assigning her such qualities as nobleness and courage and honor.

If she had stood when she heard his voice he wouldn't have questioned her presence, wouldn't have demanded explanations. She knew that, and still she'd remained seated.

Because just as there was an impulsive Chiyako who acted without thinking, there was a Chiyako who thought without acting. And that Chiyako thought, _only fools believe a single rumor heard once, but if it's repeated and repeated with new lies added each time, only a fool won't believe._ And Jin was no fool.

It was even worse now that was Fukutami here. Chiyako just knew that Rumi's new roommate had it in for her. Chiyako was grateful she was wearing a hat.

"You don't remember me at all?" Chiyako heard Toshio ask. He'd run out of accident recollections. "We were in the same intro art class two semesters ago. Human form and anatomy."

"Oh, you mean the nude model class?" Fukutami replied. "Are you a real art major, or did you just sign up to look at naked girls?"

"No, I took it for legitimate reasons. And I'm going to get into the art program, soon. I want to work for the animation industry."

"Uh huh, naked girls."

"There's a lot more to it. Animation can be this incredibly powerful medium. You should see some of the things the Europeans are doing with it. There's-"

"Yeah, spare me. Naked girls, giant robots and big explosions. It's there to make money and sell toys." Rumi could hear the contempt in Fukutami's voice.

"All art has commercial value to it, it doesn't make it less legitimate. Lots of people buy paintings to match their sofas and carpet."

"Humph. Maybe." Fukutami's voice was a bit less contemptuous. "I'm going to look for a vending machine. I debate better on a full stomach."

Score one for the fanboy, thought Chiyako. She didn't mind to see Fukutami taken down a peg, and by Jin's roommate no less. 

Not that Jin ever said Toshio was stupid, jus t a bit strange. Apparently he was a political science major, but took, or sat in, on any class that interested him. Still, a girl could do worse, look at Rumi's taste in men.

She heard the sound of Fukutami's shoes clicking away, followed by Toshio's trademark shuffle. Now was her chance. She could escape and pretend she'd never even come. No embarrassment, no rumors, no one to know what she'd done.

Or that might have been the case if she hadn't run into Jin as she was exiting the lobby.

"Chiyako?" "I -" she started to explain, but he was already holding her, burying his face in her hair.

"Thanks for coming. I don't know how you knew, but thanks. I've been so worried about Rumi, and I . . ."

Chiyako put her arms around him, not caring about the spectacle they were making. She could feel the tension in his back. He needed her, wanted her. All her worries seemed pale and outlandish. _If only I could believe in myself the way he believes in me._

"It's okay. I'm here." She whispered in his ear.

"I'm glad." He gave her one last squeeze and straightened up. "I just met with Rumi's doctor. She's woken up."

"Is she okay?" Chiyako asked, although she could already read the reply in Jin's smile.

"Apparently. Her left wrist is broken, and she's got a badly sprained ankle, but her vision is okay and she seems alert. She didn't know who the current Prime Minister is, but I guess there was a recent scandal and so we've got a new one. The doctor just thinks she's out of touch with current events. He said it happens all the time with college students."

"Will you be able to see her?"

"Soon. First I need to find Fukutami and Toshio. They'll want to see her too."

Fukutami's name was like a splash of cold water. Chiyako stepped back from Jin, letting go of his hand."That's great," she said, "I should be going then-""What? You're leaving?"

"Well, I don't think Rumi wants to see me." Not to mention Fukutami. "So, I think I'll just cut out now."

Jin gave her a measured look. "No." He said simply.

"What?"

"You're coming to see Rumi. This whole thing with you two not speaking is silly. I didn't tell you this yet, but today, before Rumi got in the accident, we had a talk. Well, actually we had an argument, but it ended with us talking. If Rumi can forgive me, then she ca n forgive you." He said it with the confidence of a movie actor, and Chiyako almost agreed with him. Almost.

As if reading her thoughts, Jin added, a bit less self-assured, "I'm seeing disagreement in your face. Am I getting something terribly wrong here? It wouldn't be the first time."

"No, you're right. Rumi and I need to stop this not speaking. But this might not be the place."

"Why, because she's doped up on meds? Seems like a perfect time to me. Listen, the doctor says we can only stay a few minutes. Just enough time to say hello and to wish her well. You'll break the ice and make it that much easier later on. Trust me."

And before she could protest, he took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. But still she felt unease. And Jin must have sensed it.

"You do want to see Rumi, don't you?"

Did she want to see Rumi? 

Rumi? Of course she wanted to see Rumi. And why not, she hadn't stolen Jin from Rumi, she hadn't kicked Rumi out the apartment. _I'm the one who started to believe the rumors, _she realized with a start.

"Yes, Jin. I want to see Rumi, I think I've wanted to see her for some time."

_And,_ she thought, _I want to find out what Rumi believes of me._

*****

The painkillers were starting to kick in. Rumi could tell because it didn't hurt to breathe. If this was only from a scooter, she gave silent thanks that Jin's roommate hadn't been driving a car. She was sure that it had been him, although the doctor told her memories might be confused from the concussion she was suffering. She could believe that; she had the worst headache of her life.

"Yamashita-san?" There was nurse in the doorway; Rumi recognized the white headdress. "There are some people who want to see you. They'll be here in just a moment."

Rumi nodded weakly, wondering whom it could be. Youji - her heart leaped at the thought. But no, Youji had gone home today, and even if he hadn't, they'd parted badly_. He doesn't love me, _she thought, _not like I loved him_.

What a day. Youji didn't love her, she'd been hit by a scooter, and she still wasn't packed for her trip home tomorrow. Well, the last thing wasn't important, she doubted she'd be out of the hospital in time to catch the train. She was almost grateful for this; she had a justification for feeling lousy.

Why couldn't she have realized her true feelings earlier? If she hadn't agreed to the plan in the first place, if her friendship with Youji hadn't been based on deception, would he have liked her more? He'd seen her at her worst, seen what lengths she could go to - was it any wonder he didn't want to get involved with her romantically?

No. She wasn't at fault. Or, she was. She had tried to break up Chiyako and Jin, and that wasn't a good thing. But the whole thing with Youji had to do with him being in love with Chiyako. 

_Guys always want what they can't have_, that's what Yayoi had said. And Youji couldn't have Chiyako. But what if Rumi were unavailable, then maybe . . . It was a pleasant thought and she couldn't help but savor it, knowing all the while she wouldn't resort to such a trickery. It hadn't worked before; it wouldn't work now.

On the bright side, she had no motivation to date Hirokazu Nabishi ever again. That brought a smile to her face. _Ouch._ Even smiling hurt.

"Rumi?"

"Jin?" She turned to the door where three or four blobs of people crowded together."Is that you Jin?"

"Yes." He sounded concerned. "Is there something wrong with your eyes, Rumi? The doctor said -"

"My eyes are fine, but my glasses got broken. So I'm blind as bat."

"I'm so sorry, Yamashita-san." said another blob, "I'll buy you new ones, even if I have to sell my limited edition MSZ-006 Zeta Gundam. It's a collector's item."

"Is that Toshio-san?" Rumi asked, recognizing the subject if not the voice. "So it was you on the scooter."

"Yes. I'm really sorry." Even Toshio's voice was cringing.

"Everyone makes mistakes." Rumi said with more benevolence than she felt. "Yeah, but most people's mistakes don't put people in the hospital with a broken arm, a hairline leg fracture, and a concussion." Blob number three, female this time.

"Yayoi? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your way to Hawaii""Got my days confused. I don't leave for Hawaii until tomorrow."

Rumi would have shaken her head if not for the pain it would bring. Yayoi was a fine person for criticizing others mistakes. The blobs moved closer and Rumi could make out a fourth form, standing just behind the Jin blob.

"Who else it there?" she asked.

"It 's Chiyako," said Jin, and Rumi could hear the slight concern in his voice.

Rumi squinted, trying to make out something of Chiyako's expression. They had barely spoken this last month not since Rumi had moved out of their shared apartment. But she had been aware of Chiyako the whole time, what with all the scheming and planning. 

And she missed Chiyako. Yayoi was a great roommate, but Chiyako had been a true friend. _Until she stabbed me in the back by stealing my boyfriend!_ No, until Chiyako and Jin had started dating about a month after Rumi and Jin had stopped. And until Rumi and company had set about breaking up the couple.

_So we're both at fault. Which means we can both start over._

"Thanks for coming." Rumi said, hoping she sounded as sincere as she felt.

"Well, I had to make sure you were okay." Chiyako sounded pensive. "So, how are you feeling?"

"I've felt better."

"Did I say I'm really, really sorry?" said Toshio.

Before Rumi had to reassure him again, Chiyako broke in.

"Enough with all that. I'm not sure if you realized, what with your glasses broken and all, but your doctor is one major hunk."

"Really, he's got a nice voice, but I wasn't sure. What's he look like?"

"Well . . ."

And it was alright. It felt more like a reunion than a make up apology. But then, Chiyako and Jin knew nothing of the plan. Knew nothing of the steps Rumi had taken to break them up. Rumi felt a twinge of guilt. _I'll make it up to them,_ she promised herself, _and they'll never know what for_, 

The fifteen minutes allotted for visiting went by far too fast. They all, with the exception of Yayoi, promised to return the next day. It seemed like a long way off, but then the nurse blob brought her the next set of meds, and Rumi was fast asleep in no time.

*****

"So, you promised to tell me how the whole "Get Chiyako Back" plan worked when you got home, Youji." Said his sister, Emiko, "Last night you were too tired, and all this morning you were talking to Grandma's doctors. I'm only fourteen years old (author's note, check if I've listed Emiko's age anywhere), and I just can't wait anymore."

They were sitting in the old tea house overlooking the garden's pond. It wasn't more than five meters from the house, but the artfully grown trees gave it the feeling of privacy; not that privacy was an issue when there were only three members to the household. Youji had chosen this spot to talk, although he hadn't thought that Emiko would broach this subject first. _I suppose when you've just become a teenager, the subject of romance outweighs everything else._

The "Get Chiyako Back" plan. Had he really ever called it that?

"It didn't work out. Turns out that both Rumi and I are woefully bad schemers. Or maybe in the end, we just didn't want it badly enough."

"Didn't want it badly enough?" Emiko repeated. "When you and Chiyako broke up you were all 'I'm so miserable' and then, when you were planning to get her back, you were like so much happier." 

"I-" How did one explain such things to a teenager? Or, as he thought about it, to himself. "Breaking-up puts you in a bit of a funk."

"Funk?"

Youji said nothing for a while, searching for the way to describe real life romance to a girl who owned every Ribbon comic published in the last ten years. Across the pond, Youji could see a dark shape approaching them. It had to be Hitchcock, the pond's only carp. He started digging in his pocket for the crackers he'd brought.

"When you're in a relationship," he said finally, "you tend to arrange your life around this other person, to plan everything with them in mind. And suddenly, you're not together anymore, and you have all these empty spaces — both time wise and preference wise. All of your old activities feel wrong, because you're doing them alone. Doing new things helps. And, eventually, you get use to doing things on your own, even old activities. I think the whole plan was really just a new thing that kept me from being depressed."

Emiko gave him a wary glance. "So, if it was just a distraction, then were you the bad guys?"

"I, I guess so. Are you disappointed?"

"Are you kidding?" Emiko stood and spun around to face Youji. There was a wicked gleam in her eyes. "The bad guy is always the sexiest character. The one who says," here she dropped her voice, "If I can't have you, no one will. Bah hah hah hah! I mean, all through high school, you were just too nice. It was always, 'Emiko, why can't you be more like your brother?' It's a big relief to know you have a selfish side."

"All my secrets are coming out." He laughed along with her and handed her the crackers.

Emiko stepped over to the teahouse's ledge, and on cue, Hitchock raised his head. In all the shrines and temples, Youji had never seen a carp as large as this one, or, in Youji's opinion, as ugly. It was a solid gray with long whiskers. On several occasions, Youji had tried to stock the pond with the color varieties, but they always disappeared within a week, leaving only Hitchcock with a satisfied look on his face.

"And Rumi's great too." Said Emiko, her back to him as she tossed cracker bits at the fish. "The woman scorned, who plots her rival's downfall, who will stop at nothing to get her man back."

Youji stopped laughing, "No, that's not Rumi at all."

"Huh?"

"She's not like that at all. If Chiyako had suddenly come back to me, I don't know what I'd have done." Probably been very grateful, he had to acknowledge. "I think Rumi was close to getting Jin back, and she knew it. But it would have hurt people, and she knew that too. It's really noble that she called it off." Funny how he hadn't thought about it that way at the time.

"To stop doing something is easy." Emiko said dismissively, brushing the final cracker bits from her hands. "I've seen that happen, lots. One of my girlfriends last semester was totally gaga about this guy. She even wrote him a love letter and put it in his locker. But when he didn't respond, she found someone else pretty quick."

"I think Rumi's going to have a much harder time than your friend. For starters, she's going to have to deal with Hirokazu's advances."

"Hirokazu?" His sister's attention was once again focused on him. "You mean the tennis captain?" 

"Yeah. Turns out he's serious about Rumi. I'm afraid he's going to propose marriage."

"How romantic. Marriage. The deception that's revealed to be true love."

Youji snorted, "Rumi does not like Hirokazu, no way she'd marry him."

"Really? He sound's like a catch. Let's see, you've told me he's rich, and handsome, and a bit of a playboy."

"A lot of a playboy. Not to mention snobbish, conceited, and extremely possessive. Trust me, Rumi sees him for what he really is." But as he spoke, he felt his conviction waver. Rumi hadn't seemed too disturbed by thoughts of Hirokazu at the train station. What had she been saying? There had been something . . .

"Okay, Youji. I'm only kidding. You take it so seriously."

"Well . . ." Surely he hadn't meant to sound so forceful, "It's just, marrying the wrong person, or marrying for the wrong reasons, can really screw you up."

His sister sighed in the practiced way of teenagers, "I know, Youji. I do remember a bit of Mom and Dad's marriage. You don't need to keep warning me."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply." He shook his head, "I was thinking . . ."

"About what?"

"I was trying to remember my last talk with Rumi. She told me I was interrupting her. And I was."

"I don't believe it. I've seen you on the phone for hours with girls, not saying a word while they go on and on."

"Yeah. But that time . . . She was telling me that she didn't love Jin anymore, that she was giving up on the plan. But instead of respecting her for it, I got rather angry."

"Wow, Youji." There was no sarcasm in her voice, "That's really not like you. She must have done something really annoying. I mean, really, really annoying."

"No, I think it was just me. I was worried about Hirokazu harassing her, but that's silly. I mean, Rumi's pretty modern, there's no way she's going to get married against her will."

He paused, trying to recapture his mood from the previous day. Emiko waited patiently for him to continue.

"It's totally unreasonable, but I think I was mad at her for giving up on the plan. Or, the way she was giving up on it. She knew how much work I put into it, she had to know, but she wasn't the least sorry or apologetic. It was like she thought I'd be pleased"

"Maybe she thought you'd be glad not to have to work on it anymore."

"Why would she think that? Working on the plan was, was-"

"A distraction?"

"A dis - No, I mean it was, but it was a kick too. Getting together and scheming with Rumi and Fukutami was great. Well, Fukutami could be a bit of a pain, but Rumi knew how to handle her. She always seemed to have a good time, or so I thought. I don't know, maybe she was getting tired of it all. Or maybe she thought I was getting tired of it . . . I hope I didn't give her that impression."

"You can apologize later, Youji."

"Oh, yeah. I'll need to apologize. I was really was out of line."

Emiko shook her head, an odd smile on her face.

"What?"

"Nothing. Or maybe not?"

"What?" he repeated.

"Just a thought. But what would I know, I haven't even had my first kiss."

"Emiko . . ."

"You'll just have to figure it out for yourself," And she dashed out of the teahouse and towards the house. She'd gotten taller this last year, and was surprisingly fast. Youji only caught up to her as she was putting on her house slippers. Before he could press her for details, he saw his grandmother standing silently, hand resting on the telephone. There was a confused look on her face.

"Grandmother." He said softly,

She turned and the look was replaced by her usual steely determination. "Well, you were certainly gone long enough. I suppose you always eat this late at college."

"It's only five." Protested Emiko.

"Don't be fresh, Emiko. It's not ladylike." His grandmother raised the phone, "I just received a call from Chiyako, your girlfriend-"

"Grandmother, I told you, Chiyako and I broke-"

"Youji, I will not be treated as a child in my own house. Now, if you're willing to listen, your current girlfriend, who is not Chiyako, is in the hospital. She was in an accident. Chiyako wanted to let you know."

_Hospital_. The word still conjured forth unsettling memories, which Youji pushed back, concentrating instead on the present problem, or problems. Which misunderstanding should he address first? "What's my girlfriend's name, Grandmother?"

She gave him an ironic smile, "Maybe you should be the one getting all the tests, Youji. Your girlfriend's name is Yamashita, Yamashita Rumi."

There was a hollow tin sound to his grandmother's voice and the name rang in Youji's mind. Rationality called upon him to correct his grandmother about his relationship with Rumi, to press her for exact details, to call Chiyako and straighten up the misunderstanding. But he was already beyond rationality, lost in old memories and nightmares.

"No, I won't allow it." Youji heard his father's voice from his hiding place behind the large potted plant. "Subjecting the children to such a sight. Of all the selfish —"

"Please, Matsuura-san," the doctor pleaded, "She's dying, and she knows it. She could slip away at any moment. Surely she has a right to see them, as their mother —"

"As their mother, she shouldn't be in her current situation. As far as I'm concerned, she's forfeited any right . . ."

Youji didn't wait to hear the rest. Once his father made up his mind, that was that. As a ten year old, he didn't understand much of the conversation, but he did know that Father wasn't going to let him see Mother. But they hadn't seen him, they didn't know he knew. If he could just find the room, find his mother, then everything would be all right, or at least normal. All the grown-ups were acting so strange. Aunt Mikiko had taken Emiko "so she wouldn't be in the way" And Grandma kept saying that Youji had to be responsible now. It didn't make any sense. He had to find his mother; she would explain what was happening, why father was mad at her this time. 

He had to move quickly, Grandma would notice his absence soon enough. He snuck along the hallway until he found just the right type of nurse. She was young and appeared not to be terribly busy.

"I'm lost," he said hoping he sounded forlorn enough, "my mom is Matsuura Keiko. Can you please take me to her room?"

The nurse looked down at him and smiled, "Sure thing, sweetie."

Youji followed her obediently up and down hallways, trying his best to peer into the rooms they passed. In one of those beds was his mother, and he had to find her as quickly as possibly. It was while the nurse was consulting a chart that he caught sight of the familiar green drooping hat, sitting on a chair just inside a darkened room. 

The nurse's back was to him as he slipped into the room and ran to the bed. But it wasn't his mother asleep in the bed. The woman was pale and listless, her face slack and her hair a disheveled, oily mess. No, his mother's skin was never so puffy, nor her lips cracked and bulging. Still, there were traces of familiarity, the tilt of her nose, the bright paint on her fingernails.

His eyes fell to the locket around the woman's neck, so like the one his mother wore. His mother's held a small photograph of the three of them, Mother, Emiko, and him. Very carefully, his hand reached out, brushing against her cold skin. His finger pressed the release, opening the pendant, and he leaned in close to see through the gloom.

Click, and the room was filled with light.

"Youji!" he heard his father's voice behind him. "What are you doing here?"His arm was grabbed and he was pulled back roughly. The locket's fine wire thread snapped and he saw the locket go flying, the image of three figures flashed briefly. 

"Momma." He screamed. And screamed, and screamed, as they dragged him away down the hallway.

Such an old memory, but still it seemed so fresh, so vivid. The hospital smells, patients peering out of the rooms as he was hauled away, the prick of the needle as they administered the sedative. When he woke the next afternoon, his mother was already dead, her body cremated, the funeral, he was told, had be performed that morning.

He was left with the feeling of helplessness. Be strong, he had been told, be strong for your sister, for your family. But how could he be strong, when he had been so powerless for his mother? Time had taken her away while he slept, and he could do nothing.

He checked his watch, twenty minutes past nine, ten more minutes before he would allow himself to try Chiyako's number again. God, the manager must be sick of him by this point, but what else could he do, so far away with such a cryptic message? 

When he pressed his grandmother for more information, she gotten flustered, and then defensive. He'd been afraid to push further, and tried instead to contact Chiyako. But he only got the apartment's manager, who said she'd leave a message. Youji had eaten his dinner next to the phone, much to his grandmother's annoyance.

No phone calls. He tried Rumi's place, no answer. Youji thought briefly of calling information for all the hospitals in the Tokyo area, but while it would keep him occupied, it would also tie up the phone line if Chiyako was trying to reach him. In the end, he'd settled on trying Chiyako's place every half-hour, hoping it wouldn't be too annoying.

"Things will be alright." Said Emiko as she sat down next to him. "Grandma just got the message wrong."

"You mean someone else might be in the hospital?" He tried to say lightly."No, but maybe Chiyako said 'Rumi's in the hospital but she's alright.'" She put her arm around him and squeezed reassuringly.

"I keep telling myself that, but being here, so far away . . ."

"I understand. Sometimes it takes a shock to see things clearly."

"What?" He twisted to look at her knowing face.

"You and Rumi." Said Emiko quietly and seriously.

"I don't —" Youji began.

"Come on Youji, I could see it this afternoon in the tea house. When we were talking it was so obvious, even if you couldn't admit it then. You have feelings for Rumi. You're in love with her."

"What? That's not the way it is between Rumi and me at all, Emiko. We're friends, yes, but we're not romantically attracted to each other."

His sister gave him a reproachful look. "Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Why aren't you attracted to her? Is she ugly?"

"I never said that." Rumi's image came to mind, her long black hair and her expressive eyes, large behind her glasses, "She's actually quite cute. But just because a girl's pretty doesn't mean I have to fall in love with her." He realized he was sounding defensive. "The truth is, Emiko, when I first met Rumi, I was attracted to her. But then I found out she had a boyfriend,"

"Unemoto Tokio had a boyfriend and that didn't stop you from pining for her all through junior high school." Trust a little sister to remember. "And Takahashi what's-her-name, from sophomore year. You helped her get her boyfriend back, and afterwards you confessed to me that you loved her the whole time."

"Emiko, I'm not saying I didn't make that mistake in the past, but at least I'm trying not to screw up that way now. Rumi was dating Jin, and that ended my little infatuation with her."

"But afterwards —"

"Afterwards she was still in love with Jin," or at least thought she was. Too bad she couldn't have figured out her true feelings sooner. _Or maybe not,_ he thought _it's not like anyone got hurt, and we did have fun._

"No, I mean at the train station." Said Emiko, "when she told you she didn't love Jin. Didn't you feel attracted to her then?"

"Of course — Well — I . . ." He had meant to refute her, to end this silly misunderstanding. But . . . Oh_, come now Youji_, he scolded himself, _you've never been impressed with the hero realizing ten minutes to the end of the picture that the one he really loved was his spunky sidekick sort of plot twist. And besides, we know you're not the hero. And —_

__Ring, went the phone. Still in a daze, Youji picked up the receiver. It was Chiyako. There had been miscommunication; Rumi was fine, or mostly so. Chiyako rattled on the particulars, but Youji barely heard her.

Could he be in love with Rumi? And if so, for how long? It wasn't the earth shaking revelation of American movies. It felt more like finding your keys, and realizing you had been looking right past them for the last hour. The foolishness he felt was deterred by his relief. So many of his actions, so many of his frustrations now fit logically into place.

__There was silence on the other end; obviously Chiyako had asked him something. "Sorry," he said, "I didn't catch that."

"I asked if you were coming back anytime during break?"

"Oh, yes I'd been planning to." _For the last five minutes_, he added silently. All this sudden insight wouldn't do him any good until he found out how Rumi felt about him. "Maybe the weekend after next?"

"Sounds good, but you'll probably miss Rumi and Jin."

"What? They wouldn't release her from the hospital by then."

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that. She's getting pretty feisty. The doctor may let her out next week even."

"Oh." He tried to keep the disappointment from his voice. Was there any time this next week to get away? He'd need at least two days including travel, and there just wasn't enough time. He'd have to content himself with seeing Chiyako; maybe she could give insight into Rumi's loyalties. Should he seek her help now? 

No! Not yet. Things were happening to quickly, and if he played the part of the love struck fool, there was no telling what damage he might do. He needed time for cool, rational and logical thought. He excused himself from the conversation quickly and hung up.Emiko was giving him the "tell-me-everything" look. Well, after he filled her in on every single detail, then he'd get around to the business of cool, rational thinking.

Copyright Dec 2000 Kim Smuga-Otto 


	11. Rumi's Decision

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

# Chapter 11: Rumi's Decision

"No, Chiyako! You don't understand how much it hurts. Please, can't we try this later?" Rumi pleaded.

"When we're so close? Never!" said Chiyako in a voice that Rumi thought completely lacked compassion. "Do you know how long I've been itching to do this?"

"But —"

"No talking. Just hold still . . .There." With a triumphant grin, Chiyako sat back. "Well?"

Rumi blinked, surprised to find the pain almost gone. "I . . . I can see!" She peered around, examining her hospital room for the first time since her arrival three days before. It was mostly as she expected, tidy and small. _There's no way I'm spending the whole of summer break here_, she promised herself.

Despite two separate searches, neither Jin nor Chiyako had been able to locate Rumi's backup pair of glasses at her apartment. Rumi suspected they were packed in one of Yayoi's suitcases, probably in Hawaii by now. She'd resigned herself to squinting, when Chiyako discovered Rumi's contacts, purchased with the best of intentions during her final year in high school, but worn only twice because they were such a pain to get in. 

Chiyako was, to put it mildly, enthusiastic about the find, and managed to get Rumi to agree to the hour of misery that ensued as they tried to get the blasted things in. Because of the broken wrist, Chiyako held Rumi's eyelid back and performed the lens application, along with the five-minute contact hunt when Rumi 's reflexes managed a blink. For her part, Rumi played the role of completely grateful patient mostly because she did appreciate all the attention, and to a small extent because it was an easy way to lessen her guilt.

_The cowardly way,_ she chastised herself. She had purposely sent Jin out on errands with her mother and father so she could be alone with her former roommate. The plan had been to come clean, confess what she and Youji had been up to and beg forgiveness. She was tired of watching her every word, of worrying about the consistency of every story, of fearing that she'd be caught out and exposed. If they were going to hate her, fine; she could deal with that.

In theory, at least. In practice, Chiyako was making confession rather hard. They'd settled back too easily into the old friendship, the fluid, silly, and utterly delightful conversations of the time before. If only there could be an awkward pause following some reference to the love triangle so Rumi could begin her confession and apology. 

"Wearing glasses when you have eyes like this." Chiyako fussed, "What were you thinking, Rumi? But this is only the first step of my plan. Next is some makeup," she indicated a large plastic container which Rumi had mistaken for a tackle box. "Then, when you get out of here we're going to get your hair cut and curled. We'll have to put up barricades to keep the guys away. That is, if you ever get tired of good old tennis captain Hirokazu . . ." Chiyako's voice trailed off. "Not to imply anything, you know."

Awkward pause.

"That will come in handy. I'm going to need infatuated guys to carry my books when school starts. Do you think it will work on my male professors?" She shared wicked smiles with Chiyako. 

_Idiot! Moron! Coward! _She couldn't do it. Or rather, she wouldn't do it. _I've lost Youji_, she justified to herself, _don't make me loose Chiyako and Jin._

Chiyako, oblivious to Rumi's torment, began searching through the makeup supplies. Rumi hoped they weren't all meant to end up on her face. 

Maybe she could make it up to Jin and Chiyako in other ways. Ways they might not even notice, over the course of their lives. Running errands, helping with homework, assisting at their wedding, the possibilities were endless.

"Oh, speaking of guys," Said Chiyako, as she started applying foundation. "I talked to Youji last night."

_Youji_. Deeply engrossed in plans to look after Jin and Chiyako's future kids, Rumi tensed.

"What did he say?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"Not much, he seemed a bit distracted. This blush okay? I told him how you were doing and he wished you well, or I think he did. Yeah, he must have. Anyway, he's hoping to come back to Tokyo the weekend after next and we're planning on hanging out together. Too bad he'll probably miss seeing you and Jin."

"Yeah." Rumi agreed.

What had she been hoping for? Message for Rumi — Get well, sorry I was a jerk and by the way I'm in love with you. _Get over him, girl, he doesn't love you_.

"Do you want me to pass on any messages? In case I talk to him again?"

"Yes. Tell him —" _Tell him he's an idiot, and that I have incredible eyes, and if he had any sense, he'd call me._ "Tell him I'm looking forward to seeing him, when I get back, that is."

Chiyako nodded.

"So, will you be able to convince them to let you leave?"

Rumi waited until Chiyako was done with the lipstick before answering. "I should, it's only a broken wrist after all. But the doctors keep harping on the sprained ankle and I can see it worrying Mom. She's afraid that the travel and all the hills back home are going to be too much. They might be willing to transfer me to the Shinguu Hospital, though."

"Is that close to your parents?"

"An hour's drive. But that's part of its charm. See, with it being tourist season, there's no way my Mom's going to be able to visit me every day. Eventually guilt over leaving me alone will win out over the overprotective feelings. Not the most fun solution, but it'll have to do."

Chiyako nodded, applying the eye make; she got a funny look on her face, making Rumi wish for a mirror. "It was weird meeting your folks yesterday. I can't believe you never told them about me and Jin dating."

"Well, I told them Jin and I broke up, but . . ." _I was planning on stealing him back from you anyway, no need to confuse Mom and Dad._ "I didn't want them to worry that I wasn't able handle personal conflicts. And if I told them the whole . . . situation, then they'd feel awful. So I told them we didn't have compatible schedules and Yayoi was in all my classes. A bit of lie, considering that Yayoi often stayed up 'till four or five in the morning, painting - which meant that even with the windows all open, the turpentine smell was unbearable." Rumi laughed, remembering some of the quarrels they had over it, "Sometimes, to get back at her, I'd set the alarm to ring at 10:00 AM, and then hide it."

"Finding a good roommate can be a major hassle," said Chiyako, standing behind Rumi to brush her hair. "You should have met some of the ones I interviewed."

"What? You mean you still haven't found anyone?" ask Rumi.

"No. One girl wanted to know if she could bring her pet, P-chan. Turns out it was a two-meter long python. Then there was one the one who had a funny hexagonal board and said she'd only move in if we rearranged all the furniture because the place didn't have the right chi. I almost signed on with another girl, but then her boyfriend proposed and that was the last I saw of her."

"We worked out okay, though" said Rumi. 

"Yeah, until I stole your boyfriend."

"You didn't steal Jin, or seduce him, or slip him an ancient Chinese love tonic, or any of those dreadful rumors."

"How about the one where I got him drunk, slept with him and am now carrying his love child?" Chiyako said this flippantly, but Rumi thought she detected a shade of distress in Chiyako's voice.

"I hadn't heard that one. I don't see why people are still interested in it. I know I'm not." _It's okay, _she wanted to say, _the past is the past._ They'd both made mistakes, they didn't have to dwell on them.

The hair brushing finished, Chiyako came to sit down on the bed.

"Rumi, you're too sweet, you know that. When people hurt you, you don't have to forgive them. You can be mad at me. I deserve it."

Rumi was silent, praying that Chiyako would go on. But the other girl held off, and the moment of silence stretched out.

"Actually," Rumi began, "I was mad at you, especially at first. I . . ." she took a deep breath, the confession rehearsing itself in her mind. _I did some bad things myself. I tried to hurt you, and Jin, and I think I succeeded a few times. So you see, I'm not so sweet after all. _" . . .was mad at Jin too. And then I got tired of being mad. Staying angry at someone's a lot of work, you know."

She couldn't say it. And with a sinking feeling she knew why.

Chiyako was crying, but there was a dopey smile on her face. 

"You're unreal, Rumi," Chiyako said as she leaned over and embraced her. "You and Jin both. You're good in all the ways I wish I was. When I first met you, you know, I thought you were kind of naïve, and I felt so sophisticated. But, I think I was wrong. I think I have a lot to learn about stuff that you and Jin already know. Kind of funny, huh."  
"No." Rumi clenched her fist, but very discreetly so Chiyako didn't notice. How could Chiyako speak freely, say things so lightly, when the words just froze in Rumi's throat. _Because you think before you speak, _said a not so sweet inner voice. _You are a properly raised young woman, of good breeding and excellent manners._ She knew that voice, it was the same one that kept her from joining the soccer team and made sure she wore skirts that went down past her knees.

"I'm being serious here, Rumi." Chiyako looked straight into Rumi's eyes with an intensity that was almost comical. "Okay, I'm being impulsive, but I do mean it. I'm going to learn to be nicer, to think before I act, to-"

"Hush!" Rumi put a finger to Chiyako's lips. "I don't want you to change. I like your spontaneity. It's what makes you so much fun to be around, it's what I missed since we stopped being friends."

_If anything,_ thought Rumi, _I should learn to be more like you._ If only she could speak her mind before all the doubts, all the what ifs, all the how-would-it-appear worries overtook her, freezing all the things she wished give voice to. 

"I missed you too, Rumi. You know, I think you were my first true female friend."

"I . . . I think you were my first true female friend too, Chiyako." It was true, all though childhood and high school Rumi and Jin had been inseparable, leaving her little room for girlfriends.

Rumi could feel her eyes glistening. She didn't care, and besides, Chiyako was crying buckets by this point.

"I just want us to go back to the way we were. But I also love Jin . . . and with you . . . " 

She gave a loud sniffle and Rumi reached for the box of tissues on the bedside table. Chiyako took one and blew her nose in a most noisy and unladylike fashion, and then repeated once more for good measure. 

Rumi had to smile. The tension had broken. Her feelings of guilt were pushed back by feelings of tenderness and goodwill, and her next words, while not the ones that she had wanted to speak, flowed freely and earnestly:

"Chiyako, you know, Jin and I were friends for a lot longer than we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I just want him to be happy, and if he's happy being with you, then I'm . . ." Rumi paused, gave up trying to be elegant, and said "happy. Everybody's happy. Everybody can be friends again."

"Do you really mean it? Real friends, not just acquaintances? Talking on a regular basis, hanging out together, sharing secrets?"

Rumi laughed, "We can even keep an exchange diary, if that's what you want."

"No, I'd rather just talk over the phone or . . ." Chiyako got serious, "What I'd really like is for us to be roommates again."

Rumi didn't say anything. Ever since Chiyako had visited her in the hospital the first day she'd wished for this kind of reconciliation. To go back to the beginning and forget all the horrible things she had thought and done to her rival. And now, if Chiyako was serious, she could.

"I know for sure this is my impulsive side talking. But sometimes my impulsive side is right, and I really think we should give it another chance. Look, you want out of the hospital, and everyone's against you going home. So why don't you stay in Tokyo? Move back in with me and if it doesn't work out you go back to staying with Yayoi at the end of break. No hard feelings."

Rumi's heart soared. Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded, and, on impulse reached out to hug Chiyako.

"Umm," came a voice from the door, "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

Rumi looked up to see Jin, a bemused look on his face. Rumi sat back and, after a swallow to clear her throat, said:

"Chiyako was just giving me a makeover."

"Running mascara fashionable this year?" Jin asked.

"Rumi's agreed to move back in with me." Chiyako said, turning to face Jin. "For the summer at least, while she heals up. And if we can convince the doctor and her parents."

"Hey," said Jin, a wide smile spreading across his smile, "That's fantastic. I'm really glad. Wow!"

"You don't have to sound quite so amazed." Said Rumi.

"Don't blame me, it's not my fault I'm always out of the room when all the important decisions are made. I think it's a great idea, I'll even see about warming your mother to the plan. You know she can't resist my charms."

"Oh really?" asked Rumi.

"Oh yes. I've just returned from an afternoon of 'Jin, you will still look out for my Rumi, won't you?' And 'Jin, make sure my Rumi ends up with a man and kind as you.' And 'Jin, if you ever want my Rumi back, just say the word, I'll make sure she behaves.' And 'Jin, no matter what happens, you're still my son-in-law, really.' The woman is putty in my hands, I tell you."

"Only because you used to bring her chocolates on Valentines Day. She's a sucker for sweet stuff."

Chiyako remained silent, and Rumi thought she had a pensive look on her face. Jin must have noticed too, because his next remark was directed at them both.

"If Rumi stays, then we have to celebrate. I'm taking you both out. Hirokazu won't mind will he?"

_Hirokazu Nabishi can go soak his head in a bucket of water for all I care._ Rumi almost said it, but there was something about Chiyako's look that stopped her. Jealousy, Rumi had seen the expression enough on her own face, even now, when she thought about how Youji was still smitten with Chiyako. 

_You promised yourself you'd make it up to them,_ she reminded herself. _No time like the present._

"Or we can make it a double date, all four of us. Only it can't involve too much walking."

"I think we can do that," said Chiyako, visibly relieved, although Jin now had a slightly sour look on his face, which Rumi internally shared.

It wouldn't be for long, she promised herself_. Just until Chiyako gets it through her head that she has nothing to worry about from me_. That couldn't take too long. Nothing to worry about . . .but-

"Um, guys," said Rumi, winking desperately with one eye, "I think I've lost one of my contacts."

***

"Well, this has been an absolute pleasure," said Hirokazu, "But I think it best we not overstrain Rumi, at least not on her first full day home from the hospital. Don't you think?"

"Sounds good," said Jin, "We can just head back-"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Jin," interrupted Rumi, "Nabishi can wheel me back home. You and Chiyako enjoy the day. It's lovely here in the park."

"You sure?" asked Jin.

"Goodness, you're taking this looking after me business seriously, aren't you."

"Well, I did promise your parents, and my parents, and probably half our town, come to think of it." It wasn't a lie, he'd even gotten a call from their old science teacher when news got out that he and Rumi would be staying in Tokyo for summer break.

"That's still not very many people," said Rumi. "But I promise, Ill stay put it this wheelchair and not do anything stupid."

"Don't worry, Koishikawa," said Hirokazu, "I'll make sure she doesn't put any weight on that leg." He smiled in what Jin thought was a rather predatory manner.

"Oh, all right. Take care," said Jin, trying to sound positive.

He watched Hirokazu push Rumi away in her wheelchair, smile still plastered on his face. Chiyako put her hand around his arm and leaned on his shoulder as they watched the two figures recede down the street.

"Okay," said Chiyako when at last Rumi and Hirokazu rounded the corner. "Lets take a walk, and you can tell me what he did to irritate you the most."

"What?" asked Jin, as he chose a route that headed into an Izumi shrine, "And here I thought I was wearing my friendly Jin face."

"Mostly, except those times you grimaced. Don't worry, the way those two were staring into each other's eyes, I don't think they noticed."

"That's a relief." Jin took a deep breath before voicing the thoughts he'd been holding back for the last two hours, "I think I came the closest to losing it when Hirokazu picked up the tab for the ice cream, insisted he be allowed to treat us, and made a big show of making sure we didn't see the bill. It was at most twenty-five hundred yen, and he made it out to be like he was buying us a Kansaki dinner. I mean, really."

"Or when he said, 'We don't have to call a cab, I enjoy a good walk, and it's more economical, don't you think.' I was ready to slap him."

"I kept telling myself, he isn't worth it, he isn't worth it. I'd almost be ready to laugh it off, and then he'd open his mouth again. What can a girl possibly see in a guy like that?"

Chiyako held up her fingers as she counted. "Money, good looks, highly respectable family, and oh, did I mention money?"

Jin's smile dropped and he could feel Chiyako stiffen. She tried to hide it by turning and heading though the towering Torii at the Shrine's entrance, but Jin could tell she was unhappy from the way she was walking, tense and determined. Complaining about Hirokazu was okay, but Chiyako didn't like to discuss his relationship with her ex-ex-roommate. He was positive she knew quite a bit about it, girl talk being what it was rumored to be.

"But what does Rumi see in him?" he asked when Chiyako stopped to buy a charm.

"She's on the rebound, that's all." She tossed a hundred yen coin into the offering case, it bounced once, twice off the wooden grate before hitting the bottom with a satisfying thud. Jin waited while she performed the customary clap and bowed her head. Was this her way of changing the subject? But no, she continued:

"You can't rush things like this, Jin. You just have to let her take her time. Rumi's smart, she'll get bored of a guy like that soon enough. As long as she's happy-"

"But she isn't happy with him." Jin said, hating himself for pursuing the subject, but too grounded in his conviction to let it drop. "She acts like she is, but there are moments when she I don't know, she gets this look."

"Let's walk up the hill, under the Torii," Chiyako pointed toward the path, completely obscured by the red wooden gates. "Don't worry, I'm still listening."

"I think you're right about this rebound stuff," said Jin. "But do you think we could hurry it along a bit?"

"What do you mean?"

"Find another guy for Rumi? Accidentally get them alone together. I was thinking we could set up a meeting and then bow out at the last moment, or get separated. Maybe we could get movie tickets and . . ."

"You have someone in mind?" Chiyako stopped by a stone fox and looked thoughtful.

"Well, don't laugh, but I was thinking about Matsuura." Jin said.

"Youji?" Chiyako said in an odd voice.

"Yeah, they're both in the sciences, they both have great senses of humor, they. . .What's that look for?"

"Youji . . ."Chiyako looked unsure. She took Jin's hand and continued walking, "Youji has a fear of commitment. And I'm not sure it Rumi is his type anyway. What if they went out and then he broke it off? It would be devastating for her."

"I know. It's just that I talked to Hirokazu, Chiyako. He's serious about Rumi. What if she doesn't wise up before he pops the question?"

"What if she dates someone else and gets dumped? That might make her even more desperate. No Jin, you just have to let that relationship take its course and hope Rumi gets tired of Hirokazu before he asks her for a commitment."

"And if she doesn't?"

"You just have to hope that it doesn't come to that." She gave a helpless shrug.

They had reached the top of the hill. It was pretty small, not at all like the mountains they had at home, but it did afford a nice view of the shrine, festive in all its summer foliage.

"I'll hope. But Chiyako, I swear, if it looks like Rumi is seriously considering marrying Hirokazu, I will stop her."

"And how do you plan on doing that, if she's serious?"

There lay the difficulty. "I'll come up with something." 

Chiyako said nothing, but her face spoke volumes.

"Okay," Jin went on, "done with Rumi, done with Hirokazu. All my attention is on you. At least for the next," he checked his watch, "forty minutes. At which point you will meet up with Youji and I'll devote myself to learning the fine art of garage model painting."

That seemed to break the tension in the air. Chiyako smiled as she shook her head.

"I still can't believe you let Toshio-san talk you into buying that kit."

"Hey, it's quality guy bonding time. Besides, Toshio says he's sure he can sell it for twice the amount I paid for it. Don't laugh, if you'd let me get the one of the girl in the bunny suit, it would have been four times the price."

She was giggling by this time and they headed back down the path to enjoy the day.

***

"That went well," Hirokazu said as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Hmmp," Rumi grunted in reply. She was loath to admit it, but Hirokazu had been correct to cut the double date short. Her pain relievers were beginning to wear off, and in addition to the soreness in her arm, she could feel a headache coming on.

"I meant to say, it was obvious they thought we were a couple. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?" 

What she wanted was to get out of the wheelchair. It wasn't comfortable, and it jolted her every time it hit a crack in the sidewalk. She wished Hirokazu would take more care.

"Yes," she admitted, "But it's different now. I don't want Chiyako to be jealous of me, so we have to convince Jin that we're happy to be together."

"Then, I'm holding up my end of the bargain most admirably," said Hirokazu. "Except, I'm not acting. You wanted to continue this pretend dating and I agreed to it, though not for appearance's sake. I'm doing it to spend time with you. But you know that, don't you?" 

They had to cross the street at this point, and there was no ramp to roll the wheelchair down onto the street. Hirokazu had to stop speaking as he maneuvered the wheels over the curb. Bump, went the back wheels, sending a shock through Rumi's whole back. She gritted her teeth and they made their way across the intersection.

"You don't have to keep baiting them," she said. They were almost home, where awaited her a cold pack and ice water in the fridge, and industrial strength ibuprofen.

"But it's so much fun. Especially when they try to pretend that it doesn't bother them that I'm rich."

"They're trying to pretend that it doesn't bother them that you're acting like a jerk." Why did everything with Hirokazu come down to money?

He stopped the chair suddenly, causing Rumi to lurch slightly. They were on a down incline and instinctively, Rumi reached to grip the wheel bars. Her cast prevented her from getting a good grip on the left one.

"Would a jerk volunteer to pretend to be boyfriend to impress your friends?" his voice carried an edge she wasn't used to hearing. "Would a jerk lavish you with his money and time? Would a jerk do all this without expecting anything in return? Would a jerk put up with your insults and coldness?"

He started walking again, briskly down the hill.

"I didn't say-" Rumi started.

"No, but you implied it." He said this quietly, but his voice was as cold as ice. 

Had she? She didn't recall any particular incident, but it was easier to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Hirokazu." She said, and continued a bit more sincerely, "Maybe this whole dating thing wasn't such a good idea, considering your feelings. Here's my building now. Help me to the door, and we'll call it quits. Okay?"

"What? I didn't mean . . ."

Hirokazu spun the wheelchair around and squatted so he was level with Rumi. Thankfully the ground was flat here, so she didn't start rolling backwards.

"Rumi-chan, I don't what to call it quits. I don't want to stop seeing you." His arrogance was suddenly replaced with concern, perhaps even vulnerability. "I take back what I said. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, really I am. It's just that I care about you, Rumi-chan.

"No, don't say anything. I know how you feel. And I understand. The way that I see it, we started off wrong. And I was thinking, maybe if we tried to begin again, without the deceptions, it might go better. I just feel like I'm not getting a fair chance here."

"I . . ." Rumi wasn't sure how to respond. He was right, she'd never given any serious thought to him. Could her perceptions, her feelings about him be colored by that? Part of her doubted that, but didn't everyone deserve a second chance?

"All right. Let's start again, Hirokazu."

"Great." He gave a grin that seemed more genuine than usual. "Could you call me Nabishi?" 

He gave her a puppy dog expression and she found herself smiling. It wasn't the open smile she gave Jin or Chiyako, or Youji, but it was a smile.

"I suppose, we do know each other pretty well by now."

"Excellent," he stood up and wrenched the chair and Rumi about, "Listen, you must be tired, I'll get you home and — Heh! Matsuura-san, I didn't know you were back in Tokyo."

Rumi gasped, and looked up into Youji's face. She hadn't seen, or talked to him since the day of her accident. He hadn't even sent her flowers, which had made her both angry, and relieved. Silence was better than a generic bouquet with impersonal get well wishes.

He was giving her the strangest look now, his eyes darting back behind her. What was he — Oh, he must be looking at the wheelchair.

"This is just a precaution," she waved distractedly. "My doctor insisted I ride in this thing for the next two weeks. I don't think I can last that long, but they made me promise before they released me. I'd have agreed to anything by that point. Oh, did you know I'm staying with Chiyako?"

She was rambling, but she couldn't stop. There was a strange, serious look to Youji; it made her nervous. Why did he have to show up now? Why couldn't he at least wait until she'd made up her mind about how she felt about him?

"No." he said, answering her question.

He'd come to see Chiyako then, not her. Well, wasn't that what she'd suspected, even accused him of, at the train station. _This shouldn't hurt me._ But it did.

"What are you doing . . . together?" said Youji, his eyes darting nervously about."We made up, decided to begin afresh. After all, since I'm not in love with Jin anymore, there's nothing to come between us." She said this off-handedly, or at least she tried to. If Youji wasn't aware that she and Chiyako had made up, then he must have been out of touch with both of them. And maybe she still had a chance.

But no, when Rumi looked up into Youji's face she didn't see love, or even kindness. She saw fear. His skin was ash white, his jaw clenched, he wasn't even meeting her eyes_. He's afraid I've told Chiyako about the plan._

"Rumi," Hirokazu's voice maintained its usual silkiness, "I really should be getting you home. It's been a long day and it would be best for you to rest now. Matsuura-san, if you'll excuse us."

Youji grunted what might have been a goodbye, and Hirokazu set off at a quick pace. 

"We should . . ." Rumi began.

"Yes, Rumi-chan?"

"We should have told Youji about the plan. . . You know, that Jin and Chiyako don't know anything, and that you and I are together so Chiyako doesn't feel threatened. I don't think he knows.""Oh, I'm sure Matsuura can put two and two together." Said Hirokazu smoothly, as he pushed the chair across the uneven stone pathway up to the doorway.

***

Chiyako felt vindicated. For once, she was not late to an appointment. Or rather she was, but Youji was already good ten minutes later than her getting to the restaurant. She checked her watch again; waiting was such a bore. Could he have gotten lost? She was trying to remember the directions she'd given him when she remembered something else: she hadn't given Youji any directions because the plan was to meet at her apartment. _Goof._

_At least_, she consoled herself as she caught the subway, _I now have a roommate, so Youji can wait inside._ But as she neared her apartment, she saw a distinctly Youji-shaped-object sitting alone at the bus stop. There was a pronounced droopiness to his slouch.

"Youji, I'm sorry, I got the meeting locations confused." Starting with apologies was always a good idea, "But why are you sitting out here like this?"

"Oh, this bench and I are old friends." Youji said, not looking at her.

"Okay," said Chiyako, sitting down beside him. 

She didn't want Rumi overhearing their conversation, and here was as good a place as anywhere. Youji continued to stare straight ahead. There was mournful quality to his face, every time he breathed out, it sounded like a miniature sigh.

"Is there something wrong Youji?" she ventured. Secretly, she had been counting on him being the sympathetic ear this time.

"Nothing important," he said dismissively, "What's up with you?"

If he didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't push the subject.

"Well, I have a new roommate," Youji didn't seem surprised, so Chiyako added, "and she's stolen my boyfriend."

"What?" He was looking at her now.

"Just joking, mostly. Rumi and I are living together, and today, Jin as much as t old me that he'd start dating Rumi to keep her from marrying Hirokazu."

"He said that?" Was he smiling? No, it had to be just a twitch.

"He said, if Hirokazu proposed, and Rumi said yes, he'd figure out some way to convince her not to go through with it. I can't think of an easier way, can you?"

She'd been planning on confessing all this to Youji, albeit not so bluntly.

"And if Yamashita doesn't want Koishikawa back?"

"Jin versus Hirokazu?" Chiyako was shocked by the thought. "There really isn't any contest, even if Rumi's acting all gooey-eyes over the tennis captain right now. All you have to do is listen to Rumi and Jin together. They sound like they're married, they know each other so well. They even finish off each other's thoughts. And their parents would be ecstatic if they started dating again."

"Is she really serious about Hirokazu?"

"Seems like it to me. She'd not gushing over him, but she never complains about him either. What am I going to do, Youji? If Rumi gets serious with Hirokazu, then I'll lose Jin, but if Rumi stays single, I'm not sure if that's so good either. That sounds awful, I know. I'm happy to be friends with Rumi again, really I am. And I trust her, and Jin too. . .just not the two of them together." 

Chiyako buried her face in her hands. Her fears, when spoken, sounded so irrational. But two weeks of watching Jin and Rumi interact had had their effect."Maybe you should be having this conversation with Koishikawa." Said Youji, softly. He didn't sound nearly as sympathetic as he used to, Chiyako decided.

"I can't," she tried not to sound whiny. "I don't want him to think I'm jealous, or that I don't like Rumi."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" 

"I was hoping you'd come up with a plan."

"What, like get Yamashita hooked up with someone less offensive to Jin?"

"Yeah, like that," Chiyako did her best to make this sound like a novel idea. She was rather proud of Jin for thinking it, but having him spend that much time planning things for Rumi left he feeling unsettled. Better to keep Jin in the dark and have Youji set things up.

"It wouldn't be too difficult," said Youji. He seemed interested, and not nearly so despondent as before. "I mean with it would be natural for you, Jin, and Rumi to go out as friends, and then —"

"We just invite some other guy along, get separated, instant date set up. We just need to choose the right guy. Someone funny, and personable, and kind, all the things that Hirokazu's not."

"Do you have someone in mind?" Youji asked, almost sounding excited.

"Yes, and I know it may sound odd, but hear me out. I was thinking Jin's roommate, Toshio Okada." Youji's face fell, obviously skeptical. "Granted, the guy's a bit eccentric, but he is smart, at least he seems to know a lot of interesting stuff, like science, or science fiction. He can be charming, in a bumbling sort of way. And I think Rumi might like him a bit already."

"I didn't know Yamashita even knew Toshio-san."

"Who do you think hit her with his motor scooter? Not the best introduction, I'll grant you, but it does make an impression. He came to see her in the hospital several times; I think he felt it was his fault. Which it was, I suppose, but she forgave him for it. It could turn into one of those Florence Nightingale romances." It sounded even better when Chiyako said it aloud. Toshio-san was definitely the right choice, despite Youji's obvious reluctance.

"I think you're reading too much into Yamashita's generous nature. Even my sister's romance comics require more compelling relationship devices. I mean, what's so special about Jin's roommate?"

"Plenty. Like . . . give me a moment here." Chiyako scowled. "Okay, he's honest. He's not pretending to be what people want to see. And yes, it makes him look a bit goofy, but I think that Rumi would appreciate honesty in a boyfriend. She needs someone she can count on to tell her the truth and not try to manipulate her emotions. Jin did that, even if he didn't mean to, and Hirokazu must be promising her all sorts of things."

"You may have a point." Youji didn't look too happy about this.

"He's a good person. Jin would vouch for him, or at least, if he knew what we were planning. We can't let him or Toshio-san know about this. I don't think we could keep Rumi from figuring something was up if too many people know."

"Then how do you know you can get Toshio to fall for Yamashita?" Youji was certainly playing devil's advocate, Chiyako noted.

"Oh, that's the least of our problems. I've got Rumi wearing contacts and make-up. You'd be amazed at how good she looks. Not only that, but next week I'm taking her out to get a haircut, and maybe a perm. She's not going to have any problem attracting Toshio's attention."

"In that case, do we even need to set her up?"

"All the more reason, Youji. What if she hooks up with an even bigger jerk than Hirokazu? See, we have to move fast, before school starts again."

"If you say so, Chiyako. But I'm only here for the weekend." He stood up and started to cross the street.

"Wait, I was counting on your help, Youji," cried Chiyako. Hadn't he heard anything she said? "Don't you want to help Rumi?"

That evidently struck a nerve. Youji's back straighten, and slowly he turned to face her. She had never seen him angry until now. It did not go well with his features. He looked a bit like the dishonorable warriors of certain woodcuts. His voice was likewise hoarse: 

"Why does it always fall on my shoulders to untangle people's love lives? I don't remember putting our any advertisements. I'm not even sure why people keep coming to me, it's not like I've any success in the area." Turning away from her, he continued in an quieter voice, "I'm sorry, Chiyako, I have a lot of other things going on in my life, and I just don't have the time or desire to devote myself to your scheme. I'm sorry."

With this for justification, he started down the street. Chiyako almost called after him, but in a rare bout of self-restraint, remained silent. Rumi had said something about his grandmother being sick. It was selfish of Chiyako for not considering Youji's situation. Still, he'd been so keen in coming up last weekend - but then he hadn't known about Rumi being in town.

Had Rumi and Youji had an argument? If so, it was just as well that she'd nixed Jin's idea about setting them up together. 

This was only a temporary setback. She could carry out the Rumi setup by herself. How hard could it be? And in an absolute pinch, she could always call on Jin's help, although she hoped it wouldn't come to that.

***

The phone was ringing again. Youji lay in bed and counted the rings. Eight, nine, ten, eleven, just in case she'd counted wrong, twelve, because she was sure he must be home, thir — no, she hung up.

It had to be Emiko. He doubted Chiyako would show that much patience, or persistence. It had been the fourth telephone call since he returned to his apartment.

He should probably answer it, his sister must be getting worried by now. It wasn't as if he hadn't confided in her all the previous times he came down with a broken heart. Considering all the women who had stomped it to tiny pieces over the years, she had a lot of expertise in consoling her sibling.

And there had been some good stompers. Yuriko-chan was his third grade love with the magnificent voice who one day announced to the playground at large that she didn't want to date him anymore because he still slept with a night light on. Or Tomomi, back in eighth grade, who went through his life savings in three weeks of lavish ice cream desserts before moving on to greener pastures. Or Sharon O'Reilly, the Australian exchange student, who, as she later told half the school, didn't even realize they were dating because her Japanese was so poor, she just assumed he was showing Japanese hospitality.

In comparison, a two week crush on a girl who made it very clear that she wasn't interested shouldn't affect him at all. As he hadn't explicitly made a fool of himself by confessing his unrequited love, there was no humiliation this time or even awkwardness. He could even go back to their old friendship. Really, he should count himself lucky.

A week, two weeks top, and he'd be completely over this. Just a brief crush brought on by the shock of Rumi's hospitalization and his sister's overactive imagination. With things happening back home, it was no wonder his feelings got mixed up.

Not that Rumi wasn't a great girl. She was sweet, and funny, and maybe if the circumstances had been different... If she hadn't been so flighty, so quick to change her affections, if she could have just waited two weeks! Was that too much to ask?

But if it was meant to be, why hadn't he rushed back to Tokyo that night when he realized his feelings about her? It was what any lead male in a romance would have done. He should have barged into her hospital room, a dozen roses - bought hastily at the train station - in hand, hair disheveled from his sprint across town, and a look in his eyes that revealed his desire, dedication, and passion in such a way that the girl would have no doubt that he loved her, that he was the only one for her. The image made him chuckle, even in his current state. More likely, he'd stumble into her room, panting and sweating, bruised and wilting flowers clutched in his fist, only to find Rumi and Hirokazu gazing intently into each others' eyes. 

What could she see in a guy like that anyway? Had he forced himself on her? Blackmailed her with revealing the plan to Chiyako and Jin? It almost raised his spirits, but no, if that were the case, then she would surely have said something earlier. Unless he'd sworn her to secrecy. _Nice delusions, Youji. Come back to reality sometime soon._

If Rumi was with the tennis captain, it was because she wanted him. And Youji only had himself to blame. If Hirokazu convinced her to marry him, he'd expect her to be a perfect Japanese housewife and mother. Submissive, respectable, appearing not to notice his flings and betrayals. She'd be trapped, unhappy, with no way out but —

He was projecting. But he might be right.

Chiyako was right, even if her motives weren't ideal. And he shouldn't have brushed her off. Her current insecurity was proof of his success in the relationship manipulation game. And didn't his involvement with Rumi's plan help him get over his Chiyako crush?Tomorrow, he'd call Chiyako. Apologize profusely, and help her come up with a working strategy. He didn't like Tokyo summers.

The phone started ringing again. He ought to answer it. Emiko would be worried. Despite himself, he began to count the rings. Fifteen before she gave up.

He'd answer it next time. After all, Emiko had experience in dealing with his failed lovelife. And this last failure wasn't any different. If anything, it was trivial, wasn't it?

Copyright Kim Smuga-Otto Feb 2001


	12. Too Many Suitors

Tangle Skein - Chapter 12: Too Many Suitors

Inspired by Yoshizumi Wataru's Marmalade Boy

Chapter 12: Too Many Suitors 

"Best I can tell, we're here. See, just passed the giant pink elephant" Chiyako pointed to the glossy map, "and over there is the cotton candy stand."

"You sure?" asked Jin "then wouldn't the Triple Twister of Death's entrance be in front of us?"

"Jin, you couldn't find your way out of a paper bag," said Rumi. She grabbed Jin's shoulder as best she could with her arm in a cast, and rotated him 180 degrees. "Now tell me what you see?"

"Triple Twister of Death entrance." Jin admitted.

"How you passed Junior Tanuki scouts is beyond me."

Jin looked ready to respond, but Chiyako cut in. She heard enough back-home-when-we-were-seven stories to last a week. "We've found it, so who's up to take a ride? Toshio-san?"

Toshio had been standing off to the side during the orientation debate. Hearing his name he started and his face, pallid from spending the summer inside painting film cels, took on a greenish sheen.

"No," he said, "I think I'll sit this one out. You guys go on ahead."

"Are you not feeling well?" asked Rumi.

"Uh, well, you know . . .I don't think I should have eaten that second chili dog."

"You should sit down to let your stomach rest," advised Rumi. "I'll wait with you."

"Oh, you don't have to." Toshio protested, rather feebly in Chiyako's opinion.

"No, it fine. I've had so many people acting nice to me when I was sick. Got to pay back all that karma."

They sat down on a bright plastic bench advertising Pocari Sweat, while Jin and Chiyako went on ahead, passing through the empty cue. But then they rounded the corner and came to a crowd ending at the "Just 30 minutes more" sign. 

Chiyako couldn't help smiling, "This is perfect."

"You think so?" Jin cast her a dubious look.

"Absolutely." She took hold of his arm and nuzzled her face into his sleeve, "It will give those two some time alone."

"Which two?" He was smiling now.

"Rumi and Toshio-san," said Chiyako. 

"Huh?" Why were cute guys always so dense?

"Jin, why do you think Rumi decided to sit this ride out?"

"To be nice to Toshio-san?" Jin ventured.

"Precisely. There's some chemistry there, I'm sure of it."

"Or Rumi could just be acting nice. You know, a friendly, completely non-chemistry related act of kindness. Or maybe — Hey, wait a moment, " sudden comprehension dawned on Jin's face, "you didn't invite Toshio-san along just to set him up with Rumi, did you?"

"What?" Why were cute guys never dense when you needed them to be? "Of course not. I just didn't want to go as a threesome. It feels so awkward. And I think Toshio's a much better choice than our mutual irritation of a tennis captain."

"I guess. Still, Matsuura-s an would be an even better choice, don't you think? Isn't he back yet? Classes start tomorrow."

"Youji's returning today at four." Chiyako admitted.

"Really? Are you meeting him?"

"Well, briefly. I gave him one of my over-break assignments to proof-check and he's bringing it by this evening." Chiyako repeated the cover story Youji had invented for such an occasion.

"You're so studious, Chiyako. I still need to get that one done." Said Jin, changing the subject, for which Chiyako was grateful.

Things were working out. Not only was Rumi with a potential suitor, but she had Jin to herself for the next twenty minutes. Now, if only she hadn't drunk that 500 ml can of soda.

***

"And then, Toshio-san wasn't feeling good because he'd eaten too much popcorn, so Rumi sat out another ride. But when Jin and I got back, he'd mostly recovered. Enough so that the three of them went to grab a bowl of ramen noodles for dinner. Making it convenient for me to slip away and meet up with you here. Pretty smooth, don't you think, Youji?" 

"Yeah, I suppose." Said Youji, trying to hide his discomfort. 

When he set off for Tokyo today he'd been sure, or at least mostly sure, that he'd gotten over his Rumi infatuation. He'd barely thought about her at all these last few days. And he'd help Chiyako set up the amusement park date, which should count for something. 

It was probably just the location. Rumi moved into Chiyako's apartment less than a month ago, but her stuff was littering the place much as it had been when she shared a place with Fukutami Yayoi. There were her chemistry and math textbooks piled high on her desk next to a framed photo of Jin and Rumi when they were kids, and taped in the corner, was that the photo he, Rumi, and Yayoi had taken at the video arcade? His heart leaped, then promptly sunk; it was just one of Rumi and Yayoi.

"So, what's next? We could do a nightclub. Maybe get separated? Oh, and do you think you could come along? I think Jin's getting a bit suspicious."

"I'm not so sure, Chiyako. We should wait a bit. Otherwise it will be too obvious, and not just to Koishikawa-san. I think Rumi might catch on."

"Are you sure?" asked Chiyako. "Nothing against her intelligence, but Rumi's not the suspicious sort."

Perhaps, but she'd been primed to this whole set up date idea, not that he could bring that incident up. Still it gave him an idea.

"Best to lay off the set up dates. W e need to work a bit on the Hirokazu aspect, point out his weak points, open Rumi's eyes.""Good thinking, Youji. That's just what we need to do. Or rather, you, because I don't think it would look good coming from me."

"Uhh, actually I was thinking of recruiting someone else for the job. You know Fukutami Yayoi, right?"

"Rumi's old roommate?" Chiyako looked like she had eaten a piece of sashimi gone bad. "No offense to your strategy, but the girl kind of hates my guts."

"But she likes Rumi, and she knows what Hirokazu's like," and it's mostly her fault Rumi's with him in the first place. "She doesn't have to know about your involvement. Only that I don't want Rumi with Hirokazu. She'll believe me, it's true enough."

Slowly the uncertainty on Chiyako's face drained away, and then she started smiling. She put her hand on his.

"You're one really sweet guy, Youji. If I wasn't head over heels in love with Jin I'd-"Youji didn't get to hear what Chiyako would do, because they were interrupted by the door opening. It was Rumi. And the look on her face . . .

What might she have heard? The walls were thin in this place. But then, if she'd been eavesdropping, wouldn't she have kept quiet to hear more? Rumi looked surprised and then, as she saw Chiyako remove her hand from his, her face clouded over with suspicion.

"I see you're back, Youji," she said curtly.

"Just got in." Her hair was shorter, and curly, and there was something else different since the last time he'd seen her. No glasses? No she'd been wearing contacts last time. She'd been wearing make-up too, he remembered.

"Youji's been proofreading my economics homework. See?" Chiyako waved the assignment a bit too conveniently.

Rumi stared at Youji, her eyes narrowed, and said:

"How helpful of you Youji. Don't let me interrupt you."

"Oh, I was going anyway," Youji stood and made his way to the door. "We've got that early physics class tomorrow, after all."

"I switched to the afternoon one," said Rumi, not longer looking at him.

"Oh . . .Well, enjoy sleeping in." It was all he could think of to say. "Bye all."

"Bye Youji" said Chiyako. 

Rumi said nothing, and Youji left. Halfway down the hallway it struck him; Rumi had bangs now. They looked good on her.

"Matsuura-san?" Koishikawa was standing at the bottom of the stairs. He looked expectant.

"Hi." Youji waved. "Going up to see Chiyako?"

"Just dropping off Rumi. I have some last minute homework to do."

_Which didn't explain him waiting at the foot of the stairs_, thought Youji. But surely, if Rumi hadn't heard anything from behind the door, then Koishikawa couldn't . . . Best to say nothing. Chiyako had made it more than clear she didn't want Jin in on the plan.

"Is this the first time you've seen Rumi since the accident?" the question came out sounding forced, and Youji stiffened.

_He couldn't blame me for Rumi's getting hit_, Youji wondered. Though it was partly his fault.

"I saw her briefly, back when she was in the wheelchair," he admitted.

"Oh," said Jin. "So, you didn't see her with the new hair style?"

"No." said Youji. What did this have to do with anything?

"Looks good, doesn't it? I didn't think she'd look good with curls, shows what I k now."

"Yeah, if it's not done right it can get all frizzy." Youji had plenty of experience talking pros and cons of hair treatments, just not with other guys. 

Youji's brain hurt. He'd only meant to see Chiyako today. Not Rumi, who was apparently mad at him for some reason, nor Koishikawa, who was looking far too nervous.

"I need to be getting home," Youji said weakly.

"Sure," said Jin, "I was heading out myself." He joined Youji as they left the apartment building, and apparently he had more to say. "Rumi will be getting the cast taken off before October, did you know?"

"No, that's great."

"She's got the doctor's okay to play tennis again. She just has to be careful.""That's great." Youji repeated."Knowing her, she won't. I mean, she'll try and all, but she can be pretty competitive. I'm kind of worried about her, to tell the truth."

"Oh?"

"I was thinking, maybe she'd put less stress on the arm if she played doubles for a while. What do you think, Matsuura-san?"

"It might help." said Youji. This had to be lea ding up to something.

"You don't suppose you could be her partner? I'd do it, but Rumi's and my schedules don't match well. And Hirokazu-san would probably be too busy, being captain and all."

"I suppose I could," _Yes!_ It would be a perfect way to spend time with Rumi. But hadn't he been telling himself he needed distance to get over her? This was almost a month away, he rationalized, it would be a great way to renew their friendship. And if J in brought it up . . .

"Great," said Jin. He looked visibly relieved. "I'll suggest it to Rumi. She'll probably take some convincing, but I'm sure I can do that. Umm, I need to get back home. See you Matsuura-san. And thanks again."

He headed back in the direction they'd come from.

Youji looked around, in case anyone else wanted to make an appearance. Hirokazu, Yayoi? But no, the street was free of any familiar faces. Good. Only one last thing to do tonight before he could relax. He continued on to his apartment, and the phone call he had to make.

***

"Great seats," said Toshio.

"Yes," Rumi had to agree. They were in the fifth row, just far back enough so she didn't have to crane her neck to see the whole screen.

"I feel sorry for Chiyako and Jin, stuck so far back. Too bad Fukutami-kun couldn't get the seats closer together."

"Speaking of which, where is she?"

"Fashionably late," said Toshio. "I wouldn't be surprised if she shows during the opening credits."

Conversation lulled as it had so often when they were alone on these outings. Not that Rumi minded Toshio tagging along with the three of them, in fact it seemed to put Chiyako at ease to make the outings a foursome or more. Toshio was an agreeable enough fellow, if somewhat introverted. And it made it easy to give Jin and Chiyako time alone when Rumi sensed she was being too much of a third wheel. Bringing Nabishi along was certainly not an option, he even made Rumi uncomfortable, and she was the one dating him. 

It surprised her sometimes how easy it had been to become his girlfriend in actuality. But then, it wasn't quite a normal sort of relationship.

"First off, I won't require your presence more than twice a week." Nabishi had said on their first real date. "I don't want you to feel pressured. If you wish to see me more often, of course, you need only say the word."

Rumi nodded hesitantly. Nabishi had told her he was going to make her see him as a legitimate suitor, and that he was willing to modify his behavior to do so. As they'd rarely seen each other more than once a week on the old arrangement, this first item didn't seem much of a change. But she'd promised him another chance, so she said nothing and let him continue.

"No physical advances without your express permission. And no excessive amounts of alcohol. What do you say to that?"

"That sounds . . . promising." She'd hoped he would say something about his bragging, or that he wouldn't bait Jin so much. The no kissing or getting drunk promises were a good start, though.

"-and that relativity book you lent me was just great, Yamashita-san."

Hearing Toshio speak her name roused Rumi from her thoughts. 

"I'm glad to hear it." It turned out that Toshio was quite the science fan, or rather science fiction fan. Some of his theories were a bit baked, but he was quite keen to hear Rumi's interpretations. Last weekend, when they were waiting for Jin and Chiyako to meet them for dinner, he'd asked her to explain some of Einstein's and Schrodinger's work, which left her floundering, so she loaned him one of old physics teacher's notes.

"I was kind of wondering if you knew much about biology, specifically immunology?" Toshio asked.

"Not much. Is this for your story too?" Toshio had plans to write a comic book, or movie screenplay. He'd summarized the major plot points when they'd been at the amusement park. It involved school girls saving the universe; Rumi thought it needed more romance.

"Yeah, I was thinking, what if the universe-"

"-were all the product of some giant organism's digestive tract?" said Yayoi, sliding into the empty seat by Rumi, "Don't let him get started on this. He cornered me in the hallway yesterday when I was waiting for the washing machine to free up."

"And you said it would make a great movie script." Said Toshio, sounding more animated now that Yayoi was here.

"I said it sounded like plot for an Ultraman movie," countered Yayoi.

"There's no reason giant robots can't —"

"Toshio-kun, I do not want to get into another giant robot discussion. I came her e to celebrate Rumi getting her cast off and to enjoy the student film society's movie night. Tonight's show won one of those American award thingies. Have either of you seen it?"

"No," Toshio seemed loath to admit an area of nonexpertise around Yayoi. "I wanted to, but I refuse to watch dubbed foreign movies. The Japanese voices never sound right."

"You like foreign films?" ask Yayoi dubiously.

"I like all movies, especially Hong Kong cinema.""Somehow that doesn't surprise me." 

In front of them, one of the student organizer was talking about the movie schedule, but Yayoi ignored him.

"It's this America Yakuza movie, set about a hundred years ago in New York I think, right after the time the Americans could start drinking alcohol again. And it's all about two guys who set up this serious deception. I think you'll really like it Rumi-chan, Chiyako-kun too."

"Really, why?" Rumi tried not to squeak. Yayoi wouldn't bring up the old plan in front of Toshio, would she?

"Because the actors are major hunks." Yayoi gave a wicked smile.

"I don't know why females are so gaga over that Redoford-san, I can never distinguish him from the other white actors." Said Toshio. "Numanu-san is far more interesting looking."

"Well, that's always been my opinion," Yayoi sounded both defensive, and surprised.

". . .and without further ado, we'll start the show. For the enjoyment of those around you, we ask that you remain quiet for the duration of the film" The speaker directed this last point at Rumi and company.

It didn't seem to make much of an impression on Yayoi, or Toshio-san. Before the main character's partner was killed, she had switched with Yayoi so she wouldn't have them whispering across her. It was hard enough to read the subtitles without the distraction.

It was a good movie, though slightly confusing, Apparently the lead actors were setting up the Yakuza boss, but she wasn't completely sure that the younger, and in her opinion, more handsome guy wasn't going to doublecross his new partner.

That was the problem with such scheming. Everyone had a ulterior motive, and could only be trusted up to a point. She'd learned that the hard way with Youji.

He'd been so nice, so supportive. And that night in his apartment, when she'd been feeling utterly worthless Youji had said all the right things, and said them in such a way that she truly believed him. 

Shows what she knew. In fact he'd been after Chiyako the entire time. She didn't want to believe it, but hadn't she seen the two of them holding hands in the apartment last month? Chiyako told her Youji was helping her with math, which was probably what Chiyako thought was happening. Youji was smart, he could worm his way into anyone's heart through "friendship," even those confidences that he planned to use and discard.

On screen the girlfriend turned out to be a hitman, but the younger guy was saved before she could shoot him. Pity, thought Rumi. 

"I saw that coming." She heard Toshio-san.

"Oh yeah?" snorted Yayoi, "Well, what do your powers of foreshadowing tell you about-"

"Ssshh!" from some patron behind them. Rumi was grateful. The movie was getting more complicated, and she wasn't sure who was on who's side anymore. She was sure someone was going to betray them to the Yakuza boss.

Would Youji tell Chiyako their plot? No, he couldn't do that without exposing himself as well. But maybe if he let slip a fact here, and observation there . . . Just enough to feed Chiyako's fears, to confuse her, to get her to break up with Jin and then Youji would have his chance.

How could she have let herself fall for a guy like that? Even Hirokazu Nabishi was better. At least he was up-front about what he wanted — a wife and mother to his children. And he didn't pretend to be her friend, didn't confuse her with words of encouragement, or believable lies about her charms. _Probably because Nabishi wouldn't be intelligent enough to come up with such a deceitful plan, much less carry it off,_ she admitted. But if that's what intelligence and interpersonal skills were used for, then maybe they were overrated.

Bang, went the gun of one of the con-artists, shooting down the one who betrayed him. The plan was in ruins, cops were coming to arrest them all, and the Yakuza boss was getting away. This was supposed to be a comedy? But then, everyone was laughing. Turns out the shooting had been faked, they'd gotten the money after all. Rumi's head was spinning trying to put the pieces together.

Fictitious characters were so lucky. They had writers twisting plots, adding details, devising last minute revelations, all to make the characters' lives turn out happily ever after. Meanwhile she had to live with her bad luck, and the consequences of her mistakes. It just wasn't fair.

Still, it had been a neat movie.

Both Yayoi and Toshio-san demanded they sit through the ending credits while they tried to recognize names and see how many camera crews were involved with the filming. Consequently, they were the last ones out of the theatre. Jin and Chiyako were nowhere to be found at the theatre.

And they never showed up at the bar afterwards, either. It would have been another long evening with Toshio-san if Yayoi had made good on her promise to head home early to finish an art project. But she and Toshio got to talking, or arguing in Rumi's opinion, first about the plot, then about movies in general. In the end, Rumi was the first one to leave; she hadn't really been in the mood anyway. 

Her way home brought her by the backside Youji's apartment. She counted up to the fourth floor and over three. The light was on, Youji was in, probably correcting more of Chiyako's papers. More than anything, she wanted to go up and confront him.

_I'd let him know I was onto his little plan,_ she told herself, _and I'd let him know he wasn't getting away with it! _But deep down, she longed for the old Youji and the night before summer vacation when he thought she was pretty, smart, kind and honest.

It wasn't going to happen, though. She should know that by now.

Rumi reached into her purse and drew out her wallet. It bulged, mostly from the various photographs in the picture sleeve. There were her parents, her younger brother and sister, old classmates, Jin and her at various ages, Chiyako, Yayoi, even one of her fifth grade teacher who she once had a crush on . She really should clean thing out, at least of the people she didn't know anymore. Youji's photo was cropped slightly. Originally it had included Yayoi, but it wasn't a good likeness and so Rumi had cut it so only she and Youji showed. It made them look like a couple out on date. Maybe that's why she'd been loath to toss it.

Even now, it was hard to remove it, to tear it to pieces, to let them fall through the grates into the sewer. It didn't stop her though. And afterwards, she feel better, or so she told herself.

***

"Twenty minutes late," said Youji as he checked his watch, "I'm guessing they aren't going to show."

Rumi shrugged and went back to ignoring him.

It had been obvious from when he met her on the courts that she wasn't happy to be his partner for the doubles match. Was it because she didn't want to play doubles or was it because of him? Either way, this wasn't going the way he wanted.

"You know, it's not like we don't have enough people for a game, Rumi. Would you like to play one on one?"

Rumi gave him a look of distaste. "I thought the whole point of this was that I not overtax myself."

"We'll take it easy, just one or two sets?" Anything to keep her here a bit longer. Ever since school started it had felt like she was avoiding him in class. And without the break-up-Jin-and-Chiyako plan, it hardly felt like he saw her at all.

"Okay." She grabbed her racquet and headed for the other end of their reserved court.

Youji meant to play an easy game; Rumi seemed to have other ideas. From her first return, she was aggressive; her swings were swift, decisive, and punctuated with loud barks, just like the professionals. This did not translate to control over the ball. Half of her returns fell outside the foul lines, and some didn't even make it over the net. It did nothing for her temper, or her playing.

Consequently, the sets took almost no time, and Youji won them easily. Across the net from him, Rumi stood, panting and glaring.

"Don't worry," Youji tried to reassure her. "You're just out of practice -"

Before he could say more, Rumi had spun about and dashed for the locker rooms. Youji made no attempt to chase her. He wouldn't know what to say to her, and besides, she was a very swift runner.

Youji was better at waiting. The locker rooms had a second door that opened on the main hall, and it was most likely where Rumi would emerge. From there, she could take either the large double door exit by the front desk, or sneak out through the door that led past the outdoor pool. Youji placed his money on the smaller exit, just our of sight. If she wasn't out in thirty minutes, he'd assume he guessed wrong and would give up, but until then, he had time to think of what to say to her.

Rumi was out in less than ten minutes, forcing Youji to go with his first, and only, plan.

"Hey, Rumi," he said, stepping out behind her. "Want to join me for coffee?"

She froze at the sound of his voice.

"Rumi, please, don't run. I think we need to talk."

"About what?"

"About . . .things." Youji fumbled, "Like, I owe you an apology for the way I acted at the train station. I was out of line. I'm sorry."

This seemed to be the right thing to say, he could see Rumi visibly relaxing. He took a few steps forward so he could talk to her directly. He gave her a reassuring smile and continued:

"I should have been glad you realized your feelings for Jin were based on friendship. The last thing I'd want to do is force you into a relationship to someone you didn't love romantically. And perhaps . . ." His voice trailed off. What was he doing? At this rate he'd end up confessing his feelings to her, and he couldn't do that now, if ever. She'd end up seeing him as some sort of lovesick fool, and then she'd never take his opinions on Hirokazu seriously.

"What I mean, is that I'm really glad you and Jin are friends again." Said Youji, switching tracks. "Even if it isn't romantic love, it's something special. Chiyako's been telling me about you two and it seems —"

"How much time are you spending with Chiyako, Youji?" interrupted Rumi. She took a step towards him.

"A bit," he said. "I'm helping her with some assignments. There's this professor she wants to impress-"

"That's so good Samaritan of you Youji." Rumi said coldly. "You're such a great friend to help her with class work. And you're such a wonderful listener to all her worries, aren't you? Especially when she's worrying about Jin, right?"

"No," he lied reflexively, "I mean, yes. But she's not worried about Jin, she's worried about you, Rumi." He'd have to be careful not to give away Chiyako's plan, but really, Rumi needed to see that dating Hirokazu wasn't a good idea.

"She needn't be, I'm not going after Jin anymore." 

"No, it's not that. Can't you see, she doesn't like you dating Hirokazu, and neither does Jin, and neither do I. I mean, I don't want you dating Hirokazu."

Rumi looked shocked, and then her face went back to being guarded. "I'm so glad you're taking such an interest in my social life. And what's the consensus on who I should be dating? Toshio-san perhaps? You?" She sneered and glared.

Youji held his breath. There were probably worse times to confess your love, but he couldn't think of any at the moment.

"I could do a lot worse than Nabishi." She said after a bit. "I could pine after someone who didn't love me, or someone who didn't care about me. I could build up this elaborate fantasy about me and this person, and take every bit of second-hand sympathy he showed me as a token of his unspoken love. I could even go so far as to let someone use me to further his own goals."

Youji said nothing, but inside he cringed. Was that the way she saw him, as some clingy, love-struck, loser, never getting a hint? Was he that irritating to her?

"Nabishi is going to propose to me in the next month, he's as much as said so. And when he does, Youji, I'd appreciate you not interfering. And not pushing Chiyako to interfere, and not pushing her to push Jin to interfere. I'd like you to mind your own business, can you do that?"

_She's going to marry Hirokazu?!_ Youji's head was spinning. He might have nodded, he wasn't sure.

"Good." Did she seem a bit dazed too? "I'll hold you to that, Youji. And if you don't, I'll tell Jin and Chiyako everything about our plan. I will too, so you better behave."

Her voice seemed to crack at the last of this, but he couldn't be sure because she didn't wait for confirmation from him. She strode past him, her arms swinging purposely. Youji noticed she didn't seem to favor either of them, she must have made a full recovery from her injuries.

Copyright Kim Smuga-Otto Feb 2001


	13. Rumi's Proposal

Tangle Skein - Chapter 13: Rumi's Proposal Chapter 13 

"It wasn't too hard to get Jin to leave the theatre early, or to go to the wrong bar afterwards. We stayed there for about an hour and then, Youji. Youji. Youji!"

"Huh?" Youji's eyes focused, and he gave Chiyako his most attentive look. She didn't buy it for a second.

"Look." She didn't try to hide her irritation, "You invited me over to talk about the date, but you've been zoning out since I got here. What gives?"

"I . . .I didn't get much sleep last night." He said dismissively.

"You're a college student. You never get enough sleep. Tell me what's really bothering you."

Youji cringed slightly and said in a more earnest voice, "It's just that, I don't think the Toshio-san set up is working."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. Rumi and I are planning on cooking a dinner together, and she said to make sure to invite Toshio-san along with Jin."

"That only proves she's being polite," said Youji, "They are roommates after all."

"It's one of the those deeper meaning things," said Chiyako. Why was she the only one who believed that Rumi and Toshio would make a good couple? "A girl doesn't cook for just any guy, you know."

"She's still dating Hirokazu, isn't she?" Youji's voice was a lower serious monotone. And his eyes made Chiyako want to shudder.

"Well, maybe, yes, I suppose she is." She dropped her gaze to her hands.

"Then she can't feel deeply for Toshio-san, can she?"

"I . . ." Chiyako hated loosing an argument.

"Do you really want to break up Yamashita and Hirokazu? Are you really serious about this?"

Chiyako felt her cheeks go red. "Of course I'm serious," she snapped and gave him her best defiant glare.

"Then you need to find a better candidate than Toshio-san."

"But, but . . ." Numerous denials sprang to Chiyako's mind and died on her lips. Fact was, Toshio wasn't right for Rumi. "But who then?"

"The problem is," said Youji, a crafty smile now on his face, "you're starting from the wrong end of the problem, Chiyako. Instead of evaluating men, you should figure what qualities Rumi's wants in a mate."

"Oh, that's no problem."

"Really?"

"She wants someone who's kind, down to earth, modest, funny, outgoing, honest, and cares about her. Someone she can talk to, who's adventurous, and doesn't mind carrying shopping bags when she goes on a spree. Oh, and he should be a good listener, and be able to keep track of time."

"That's a rather complete list." Youji seemed impressed. "Did she tell you all that?"

"Of course not."

"But how . . ."

"Oh, really, Youji. A relationship mastermind like yourself should be able to figure this out." He continued to give her a confused-guy look. "I was describing Jin."

"But Rumi's not in love with Jin anymore. You can't believe-"

"No. I know Rumi's not in love with Jin anymore. I've heard it from Rumi, I've heard it from Jin, and I've certainly heard it from you. You can't know how glad I am to be so well informed." Chiyako paused, trying to collect her thoughts. "Don't worry, Youji, I'm not harboring some deep-seated fear that Rumi's trying to steal Jin back. But Rumi wouldn't have been in love with Jin for so long if she wasn't attracted to that type of person. And if there was some other guy like that around, believe me, I'd be trying to set her up with him. But, and this is coming from someone who's dated a lot, there aren't that many guys like Jin around."

Chiyako tried to establish eye contact with Youji. He had to see that she wasn't being paranoid or insecure. She really wouldn't expect another guy to understand how unique and special Jin was. Even she hadn't realized it when they first met, or when they first started dating, or even last month. She just kept finding more aspects of him to love.

Just before her thoughts completely faded into abstract waves of happiness, she snapped back to reality. Youji seemed to be paying an incredible amount of attention to his hands.

"Deep down," she continued, "I always knew that Toshio wasn't Rumi's Mr. Right. But the way I figured, he only needed to be Mr. Better, and not by much, if the competition was Hirokazu Nabishi. Besides, he does have this helplessness quality. I was kind of hoping Rumi would feel sorry for him."

"Have you ever dated a guy you felt sorry for?"

"Briefly." Chiyako admitted, "but never for too long."

"Did you feel sorry for me?"

_Mental whiplash._ Chiyako opened her eyes wide and gave Youji a once over. He looked guarded, but more curious than anything else.

"No, Youji, how could you think you were a mercy date? I mean, I know I was going on about Jin like he was the center of the universe; I'm rather biased, on account of my being deeply and madly in love. But I thought you rated a nine out of ten on the cuteness scale the first time I met you. And you don't lack in the personality department either."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

They exchanged pleasant smiles. The moment stretched into an uncomfortable silence, broken finally when Youji cleared his throat.

"Um, Chiyako," he said, "have you ever thought, I mean, considered . . .Well, we could try setting up Rumi with me."

"With you? I wouldn't want to impose, Youji-"

"You wouldn't be imposing," he said quickly. "I mean, I'm already helping you to set things up, right?"

"Well, yes," Chiyako agreed reluctantly.

"And we're in several classes together, and it would make sense for the four of us to hang out together."

"True, but . . ."

"But what?"

"Youji, don't take this the wrong way, but, you're not the best liar. What I mean to say is, a girl can tell if you're serious about her or not. I . . ." she was digging herself in deeper here. _Be tactful, Chiyako,_ she reminded herself. "Like when you broke up with me. Not that I'm not completely grateful for it, but at the time, even before you said the words, I knew something was up. I could tell even before you started speaking. And, Rumi would be able to tell too. She'd see that you weren't really interested. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

Youji seemed to consider her words. Several times he started to say something, each time catching himself. Chiyako waited. He'd soon realize she was right, even if it hurt his ego a bit. Guys liked to believe they were as confusing to women as women were to them, and it always hurt their pride to admit how transparent their motives could be.

"Chiyako," Youji began, "Do you see-"

And then he was interrupted by the telephone. Chiyako gave him a understanding smile and he got up to answer it.

"Hello?" He paused, and then rolled his eyes, "Emiko, listen this isn't- You're where? Tokyo? But how? Isn't today a school day?" His face quickly cycled through expressions of surprise, disbelief and anger, and as he continued to listen, settled on concern. "No, it's okay. I'll come and get you. What station are you at? Ueno? But how did you end up - never mind. Don't worry, just stay put. I'll be there in half an hour, maybe sooner, okay? No, don't worry, it's okay, really. I'll be there soon, okay? Stay put. Bye."

He hung up the phone, looking only slightly unnerved now.

"Siblings," Youji said simply.

"Your little sister's in town?" hazard Chiyako.

"She packed her book bag full of underwear, skipped school, and used her weekly allowance money to get a ticket to Tokyo. Your younger brother ever pull a stunt like that?"

"He's actually my cousin," corrected Chiyako. "But not really. I was the one that pulled all the stunts."

"I could believe that." He laughed. "Emiko misread the Kanji on the map, so I need to go halfway across town and pick her up. I have to apologize . . ."

"Don't worry about it," said Chiyako, already rising. "We'll finish this conversation later. In the meantime, I'm going to give some serious thought about the things you said about Rumi.

"Likewise."

As she headed out, she turned to add, "And Youji - the things I said, about you. Honesty's a good quality in a guy. When you seriously fall for a girl, she'll be able to tell. And," she gave him a big smile of encouragement, "she'll find that irresistible."

Not wanting to intrude anymore, she dashed out, only briefly wondering what Youji had been going to ask her. If it was important, he'd surely remember.

***

As soon as she got home, Rumi vowed, for what must have been the tenth time that day, that she was going to throw these high heels into the farthest back reaches of her closet. What ever had possessed her to wear them in the first place?

She sat down in one of the train station's benches and tried to wriggle her toes. Should she just take them off here? She made a quick scan of the area. There was no one she recognized, although the girl sitting across from her looked oddly familiar. With no undue amount of glee, she whipped off her shoes and sighed contently. What would Mr. and Mrs. Hirokazu think if they could see her now?

Not that she disliked Nabishi's parents. She didn't know them well enough to even have an opinion about them. Even after meeting with them for over three hours today. Everything had been so formal; Nabishi's mother had even worn a genuine kimono, and not a precut one like her mother sometimes wore to town.

She realized the girl she noticed earlier was watching her. _Probably staring at my stocking feet._ No, she was staring at the large bouquet Rumi still held clutched in her hand. One dozen long stemmed red roses, plus a thirteenth white one - the "Hirokazu special," as Rumi and Chiyako called it.

"Would you like them?" Rumi held the roses out to the girl.

"What? Huh?" She jumped.

"The flowers, would you like them?"

"I couldn't," the girl said, but she came over to sit by Rumi and inhaled deeply. "They're so beautiful. Why don't you want them?"

"I have two other bunches sitting at home."

The girl's eyes went wide, "You have that many boyfriends?"

"What? No, they're all from the same guy. He always gets me the same bouquet. I'm beginning to think he has a permanent account set up with some florist."

"Wow," the girl didn't seem to pick up on Rumi's irony, "He must really love you."

"I suppose."

"Are you engaged?"

"Not yet."

"Is he going to ask you?"

Rumi nodded.

"Lucky!" the girl squealed and then added in a confused voice. "You don't seem that excited. I'd give anything to have a boy propose to me."

Rumi half laughed, half sighed. "When I was your age, I thought much the same. Then I found out things don't work out like in the romance novels."

"You sound like my brother. He's always saying, Emiko, real life isn't like Ribbon comics. Especially after he gets dumped. Youji gets dumped a lot."

Youji? Wait, wasn't Emiko the name of his little sister? But what would she be doing in Tokyo, especially in this district? Trying not to be overt, Rumi gave the girl a more careful look. There was something familiar about the shape of her jaw line, and her eyes were very much like Youji's, lively and bright.

"Did your brother ever get a girlfriend?" asked Rumi, trying to sound casual. 

"He's currently pining after someone, but she already has a boyfriend." 

"Maybe that's his problem." It had to be Youji.

"That's only one of his problems," asserted Emiko. 

"Really?" Rumi was experiencing some serious guilt pangs, but she decided to ignore them. She'd need some ammunition if she was going to stop Youji from stealing Chiyako away, and Emiko seemed only too pleased to provide it.

"You wouldn't believe. First off, he's just too nice. He lets girls walk all over him. And he's too nice to their ex-boyfriends too. He once purposely stood a girl up so that her ex could "accidentally" run into her and get a chance to apologize. It's not like the girl didn't like Youji. She did. He can be so frustrating."

"I can imagine."

"Personally I think it's a great idea to get this new girl away from her boyfriend. He sounds like a class-A jerk. But even if my brother succeeds in getting her to see that loser for what he is, I don't think Youji will admit his feelings to her. He'll probably say something like 'she needs space,' or that he 'wouldn't want to catch her on a rebound.'"

Rumi's head was spinning. How dare Youji say such things about Jin to his little sister. But the situation sounded off. What was the chance of there being two Youjis, with little sisters named Emiko, with love lives in such disarray? Tokyo was a big place.

"Maybe your brother's just clueless about love."

"He's been called a relationship mastermind." Scratch the coincidence theory. That had to be Youji. "No, he's afraid."

"Afraid? Of what?" Rumi held her breath - this could be good.

"Your boyfriend," said Emiko, changing the subject, "when he proposes, what are you going to say?"

"I'm going to say yes," said Rumi with more confidence than she felt. It was the right thing to do, at least that was the conclusion she always came to when she argued it in her mind.

"Because you love him, right?"

"Well, not exactly," said Rumi. Wasn't she trying to get information about Youji? "But, we've reached an understanding about what we want out of life and our marriage. That's better than a lot of couples. And love's not something that happens all at once, not for everyone. Over time, we'll become closer, probably." At least that's what Nabishi always said. There were the other reasons for the marriage, but Rumi wasn't going to confess them to a middle-schooler.

"Youji would say, those aren't good enough reasons. He would say you need to be completely sure that the other person is right for you, otherwise it's not a good relationship, and you'll live to regret it. Our parents didn't have a good relationship." Emiko took a deep breath. Her earlier enthusiasm had faded. "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but it's not like you know me or anything. And I kind of want to tell someone. I was going to wait to tell Youji, but you seem really kind, and I just can't keep it inside anymore. You don't mind, do you?" 

Rumi gave a hesitant nod, which was all the encouragement that Emiko needed.

"I don't know much about it. I guess there was this girl who my father really liked, but they got into a big fight, and he ended up marrying my mother, instead. My grandmother was against the marriage, and she didn't like it when my mother moved to the house. I guess they fought a lot too. At first, my father took Mother's side, but then later, he'd take Grandmother's side. I don't remember it much, because I was really young. But I remember a lot of yelling, and my mother crying, and then she . . .died." 

Emiko was clutching her skirt, bunching up and wrinkling its fabric. Feeling very uncomfortable, Rumi reached out to take the girls hand.

"I'm very sorry. It's must have been hard to grow up without a mother."

"It wasn't too bad. I had Youji. And he was great. Whenever I got in trouble, and Grandmother would send me up to bed without supper, Youji would sneak up his dessert. And he always looked out for me at school. And he'd take me shopping for clothes and fun stuff. All my girlfriends were so jealous that I had such a cool brother. 

"But, since he went away to college, it's been just Grandmother and me. Grandmother isn't so good with girls, because she only had sons, and . . ."

Rumi dropped the flowers freeing her other hand for Emiko to hold and said softly, "You missed you brother, didn't you. Are you waiting for him to pick you up? "

Deep into her monologue, Emiko nodded.

". . .and Grandmother's always been kind of crotchety at times, and she's forgetful too. She never remembers when I have Saturday school." Emiko's voice had been getting progressively softer, it was now just a whisper. "But, then she started getting the days mixed up, like she thought I had skipped class, but it was a Sunday. And I tried to explain to her, but she just got mad. Later, she didn't remember what had happened, or maybe she pretended that she didn't, and told me I shouldn't bother my brother about it, that it would disturb his studying. So I didn't.

"It was kind of neat, because I could cover for her. Like if we had guests over, and she forgot their names, I'd say stuff like, 'Would you like some more tea, Mrs. Mariko Takashi?' so Grandmother wouldn't look confused. And she liked that. She'd say that maybe it was good to have another female around.

"But then one day, just before Youji came home for summer break, she got really confused. And she didn't recognize me. She kept calling me Keiko, which was my mother's name, and telling me I was a bad wife and mother. And she said it was my fault that Father was gone so much. And then she started complaining about the Americans and the Russians, she seemed to think it was still during the war."

Rumi knew she shouldn't be listening to this. It was wrong, an unforgivable invasion of Youji's privacy. She'd only meant to get information about Youji, not about his family's problems.

But this explained so much. No wonder Youji had broken his promise to be at her apartment the night Nabishi was to come over. No wonder he had to leave almost immediately for Nara the day afterwards. And his long absence over summer break made perfect sense now.

"I called Youji, and he called Grandmother's doctor. And then she really got angry. She thought he was the doctor who had let Grandfather die. They had to hold her down to give her a sedative. 

"The doctor thinks she's sick. He thinks she has a disease that's eating away her mind, and she'll never get better, just worse and worse. But Youji says she'll be okay for a while, just a bit confused at times. Kind of like before. He hired a nurse to help us out.

"Only Grandmother doesn't want anyone to know she's sick. So she tells people that the nurse is her sister's niece. And she sends her out when we have company, like we did last night."

Rumi put her arms around Emiko and pulled her close. The girl was trembling.

"Whatever happened, Youji will straighten it out. He's coming to get you, right? You brother will make it all okay." Youji was good at fixing things. Rumi hoped he was up to fixing this.

"Some of Grandmother's friends were over for dinner. And she was complaining about my mother and how my father is never around, and how she shouldn't have to be raising children at her age. I should have seen there would be trouble, but she used to complain about this when she was healthy. She was going into a lot of detail, saying stuff I'd never heard before. About mother getting pregnant before they got married, and about father having a mistress. None of the guests stopped her or even said anything. They were all so shocked, or maybe they knew already. They never told me any of this."

Emiko let out what sounded like a sob, and Rumi held her tighter. It must have been so humiliating, so shameful to hear such things about one's family. Little wonder Emiko had run off to Tokyo, to talk to the one person who could understand her pain. But she'd probably gotten the stations confused, and she needed to confide in someone, anyone, so she chose a perfect stranger. Or rather, someone she thought was a stranger.

"They never told me anything. Never. Like that Mother used to take pills, lots of them. And before she died, mother took a whole bottle, and that's why Grandmother refuses to have a photo of Mother in the shrine cabinet. And that's why father can never get married again, and . . .and . . ."

"Shh, shhh" whispered Rumi. "Everything's will be okay. You'll see. Your big brother knows what to do. Shhh." Did Youji know all this? Would he be able to help?

_He has to!_ This was Youji, the mastermind of the break-up-Jin-and-Chiyako plan. He'd think of something. But, poor Emiko, how horrible it would be for her when she realized Rumi's identity. She should leave here now, so that neither of the Matsuuras would know.

But she couldn't leave Emiko now. The girl was sobbing loudly and holding onto Rumi as though she had no intention of letting go, ever. For what might have been an hour, or merely minutes, Rumi whispered platitudes and rocked Emiko gently.

By the time Youji came running down the platform, Emiko had loosened her grip and was down to the occasional dry heave, and Rumi had come up with a plan. Now if only Youji would have the sense to play along with it.

"Emiko." He said, running forward. Then he recognized Rumi and a shocked look replaced the relief on his face.

"Big brother." Emiko rushed into his arms, giving Rumi a chance to put her shoes back on. Her feet screamed in protest.

"You must be Emiko's brother, Youji-san," said Rumi. _Pretend you don't know me_, Rumi pleaded via telepathy. "We just met. She's told me a lot about you. I think you should take her back to you apartment, she's had a long day and there are things you need to discuss."

It might have been the telepathy, or maybe just uncertainty, but Youji nodded and said:

"Thank you very much . . . miss." Youji spoke the words jerkily, Rumi hoped Emiko wouldn't notice. "I apologize for imposing on you like this."

"Don't worry about it. It was nice to meet you both."

Rumi turned to go, when Emiko spoke up.

"Wait! I wanted to thank you. I didn't even ask your name."

"Yoshumori," lied Rumi smoothly, she was glad she'd prepared for this eventuality, she even got to use one of her favorite names. "Yoshumori Miki."

"Thank you, Yoshumori-san. Oh, you forgot your roses." She pointed at bouquet where it had fallen on the tiled floor.

"Oh, these?" Rumi held them out to Emiko. "Why don't you take them? Flowers always make me feel better."

"Thanks, Yoshumori-san."

Rumi nodded, waved, and made her getaway. Youji's little sister was unaware of it, but he had been staring at Rumi the entire time. His expression had been the same one he wore after their tennis match, but now Rumi wasn't so sure she knew what it meant.

***

It was Chiyako's birthday next week, and Jin was determined to get her the best gift he could. Rumi's opinion was that you couldn't go wrong with jewelry, and she'd given him the name of Chiyako's favorite store. Now if he could only find something here that he could afford.

Most of the cases were devoted to engagement and wedding rings. It was too soon in the relationship to give Chiyako one of these, but still . . . Briefly, Jin let himself imagine presenting Chiyako with a beautiful diamond ring like the one displayed in the case before him. Then he took a look at its price. He had better start saving now.

The sales attendant came over and unlocked the case, removing the very ring he was looking at.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not buying, I was just looking," explained Jin.

"No sir, this is for the gentleman over there." She pointed, and Jin's heart sank. It was Hirokazu Nabishi, flashing one of those fake smiles of his.

_Breathe Jin, breathe, _he told himself. Last time he talked to Hirokazu about Rumi he'd been unprepared to hear the tennis captain's intentions and Hirokazu had talked circles around him. Not this time. Jin had been planning on seeking out the guy for a while. This time he was prepared.

Purposely, he strode across the store.

"Upperclassman Hirokazu, I was wondering if I could have a word with you, in private." There, that was formal and polite enough.

"Certainly, underclassman Koishikawa, but as you can see, I'm in the middle of a transaction here." He smiled with clenched teeth.

"It can wait. Come with me." Jin wondered if he'd have to physically drag Hirokazu from the store; that wouldn't look good. Fortunately, Hirokazu seemed willing to follow him.

Once outside, Jin said:

"That ring. It's for Rumi, right?"

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock-san." No two ways about it, Jin hated this guy.

"There's nothing I can do stop you from proposing to Rumi." Jin said in his best movie-samurai voice; there were certain advantages in having an otaku for a roommate, "I said before that Rumi only deserves the best. And as far as I'm concerned, you're not the best, upperclassman Hirokazu. But there's nothing I can do to stop her from accepting if she wants to marry you."

"Is that your way of saying congratulations?"

"Not exactly. I want you to know, I will always be close to Rumi." He took a step closer to Hirokazu. "And I'll always know how you're treating her." Another step. "And if you ever hurt her, or ever treat her badly," they were now standing eye to eye, with Jin having at least three centimeters on the tennis captain, "then let's just say, I know where the Yamashitas keep the family sword, and Mrs. Yamashita has told me she'll teach me how to use it. Got it?"

Jin gave his best menacing smile, and he was almost sure Hirokazu might have gone a shade paler.

"I don't-" He dropped his voice and started again, "I don't think Rumi will have any cause for complaint, underclassman Koishikawa." He tried to make his step back look unintentional.

"She'd better not. Oh, and Hirokazu-san," Jin added as the other man was turning to leave.

"What?" Hirokazu snapped.

"If Rumi were to, say, turn you down, I trust you'd be enough of a gentleman to abide by her decision and stop your pursuit of her. Correct?"

"I am never less than a gentleman." Hirokazu had regained most of his composure. "But Rumi-chan is going to say yes. As her closest childhood friend, I'm sure you'll be the first to receive the good news."

Jin simply waved his hand in the air as he walked away. He had planned to let Hirokazu get in the last word rather than be dragged into a series of snide remarks.

Besides, depressing as it was, the guy was probably right. He'd propose, Rumi would say yes, and Jin would have to rent himself a tux for the wedding.

His plan to pair up Rumi with Matsuura had faired no better than Chiyako's attempt to pair her up with Toshio. Worse, really. Chiyako had gotten Rumi and Toshio alone together several times, while all he'd managed was a single doubles tennis match two weeks ago, and afterwards Rumi had announced she was going to let her arm rest until next season.

So Jin turned to good old intimidation, and he hadn't done too badly. Now all he had to do was sweet talk Mrs. Yamashita into telling him where she'd stashed that old samurai sword. He hoped she hadn't made good on her threat to throw it into river.

***

Hirokazu Nabishi arrived five minutes early with flowers in hand, twelve red, one white. Rumi put them in an empty biscotti tin; she'd long since run out of vases. Nabishi told Rumi and Chiyako that he was taking Rumi out to a five star Kaiseki cuisine restaurant, the finest in Tokyo, and that even he had to make reservations almost a month in advance. Chiyako said it sounded quaint and Nabishi acted oblivious to the sarcasm.

They arrived at the restaurant ten minutes late; the one thing Nabishi hadn't planned on was parking difficulties. The host at the entrance assured them that it was no problem, but Rumi noticed he seated them in room mostly overlooking the street, although she could see a corner of the outside garden.

Dinner was a three and a half hour affair, and worth every minute of it. The waiters brought out servings in the most exquisite porcelain dishes that reminiscent of the ones Rumi's mother kept locked in her display cabinet. The portions were never more than three bites, but there were so many of them; Rumi lost track around fifteen.

She had pufferfish for the first time and was a bit disappointed that her fingers didn't tingle more. They had several mushroom delicacies because, as Nabishi explained, they were in season. There was also an amazing asparagus dish, which Rumi knew wasn't anywhere close to being in season. The sake was unlike any Rumi had ever tasted, and Nabishi partook of it sparingly.

During the meal they made small talk. Nabishi told her three times how pleased his parents were to meet her. Rumi replied that they seemed nice. Nabishi asked Rumi how her classes were coming along. Rumi tried to tell Nabishi an amusing anecdote about how she and her lab partners had confused the pH and pI of the compound they needed to isolate, but Nabishi gave her a such a look of complete incomprehension, that Rumi let it drop. A waiter came in to tell Nabishi that he was illegally parked, and Nabishi had to rush out before they towed his car.

Rumi noticed that the waiter temporarily suspended serving the dishes until Hirokazu returned. It wouldn't be such a bad life, she thought. The food was good. And, she wasn't having a bad time out here with Nabishi. He had proven himself. He'd kept all the promises he made to her, and they turned out to be the right promises to make. She no longer dreaded seeing him, no longer feared to be alone together with him.

And Nabishi was okay with a long engagement. He was going to be working quite heavily for his father's company in the few years.

Nabishi returned and reported the car had been safely re-parked. She teased him slightly and he got huffy, but calmed down when she apologized. The waiter duly brought in the next course and Nabishi began a monologue about the Korean expansion branch of the company that he would start managing just as soon as he graduated.

The final course was rice, cooked so that the grains just barely stuck together, with a side of pickled vegetables. Nabishi, deep into an explanation of cross-marketing to expatriate Chinese nationals didn't notice the grain that had fallen out from his chopsticks and onto his otherwise immaculate lapel. Not wanting to interrupt him, Rumi reached out and retrieved it, for which gesture Nabishi seemed uncomfortably grateful, or maybe gratefully uncomfortable. He let the incident drop with only a disapproving look.

After finishing the dinner, Nabishi proposed a drive. They went north, to a hilly part of Tokyo, and Nabishi parked the car in a small lot, first checking to make sure it wasn't a tow away zone. He led her up a paved path winding through a bamboo grove, terminating in a scenic overlook of the Tokyo skyline - an uncountable number of shimmering lights that made Rumi gasp with delight.

Nabishi placed himself between her and the view and began a slightly stilted speech about the importance of tradition and responsibilities. Rumi's mother would have approved, Nabishi even spoke about the proper roles of women. Actually, she'd heard most of these ideas from him before and even if they didn't form the most appealing image, they weren't overly objectionable.

Nabishi stressed twice that he'd be completely understanding of her desire to work fulltime outside the home, at least until the children were born. Rumi smiled, some part of her very much wanting to be a mother. She mused about this while Nabishi moved onto the next part of his speech, which had to do with amount of liquid assets and company shares he'd acquire over the next twenty years if the Japanese economy continued to skyrocket at its current momentum.

Finally, he got down on one knee and brought out a small box from his pocket. She guessed he'd been practicing from the skillful way he opened it, presenting the contents at just the right angle so that a nearby lamp used the diamond's refractive index to the best effect. Giving her a moment to appreciate the ring, Nabishi finally popped the question.

Rumi looked at the ring, looked at Nabishi, looked at Tokyo shimmering in the background. It surprised her how sure she felt when she gave her answer.

***

It was actually a pretty nice bus bench, Youji reflected as he waited for Rumi to return home. It was made of nicely varnished wood with the back tilted at just the right angle for relaxed slouching. And when one was about to get his heart broken, it was so much nicer to sit than to stand.

As if on cue to this thought, Hirokazu's car pulled up to the curb and the tennis captain leaped out to open the door for Rumi. She emerged gracefully, and was escorted to the main doors. If he'd really wanted to, Youji could have stood up to look over the gate and catch the goodnight kiss, but even he wasn't that much of a masochist. Youji waited patiently, and after what felt like a longish while Hirokazu re-emerged and drove off. A few minutes later, Youji heard the apartment door open and Rumi poked her head around the gate. She spotted him, waved, and made her way over.

"Got your note," she said, referring to the message he's left in her house slippers. "I just stopped by to let Chiyako know I was home."

She was lit from behind by the streetlight, and reminded Youji of one of those religious Christian statues. Still dressed as she had been for her date with Hirokazu, Rumi's hair was done up in a style that was part traditional geisha and part American Hollywood. She almost certainly had make-up on, but it was applied so skillfully that Youji couldn't be sure. He guessed she was wearing some elegant dress, but it was completely covered by her long formal fall coat. She'd accessorized with practical, low-heeled shoes. 

Youji smiled sadly. No one could accuse him of not having good taste in women.

"So," said Rumi, "Should I sit?" She indicated to the bench with her right hand - no ring! Youji's heart thrilled for a second, and then he remembered it was supposed to go on the left hand, which Rumi kept tucked in her pocket.

"Sure."

Rumi complied and said, somewhat nervously:

"Can I ask how your sister is? I don't need to know any of the details, just in general. I've been worried about her."

"She's doing okay, thank you for your concern." No one could accuse him of falling for shallow girls either. Rumi was like . . . again Youji tried to remember the Christian word. A prophet? Sounded about right.

"I really apologize," said Rumi. "I should have let her know who I was at the train station. I had some inkling of her identity, but then . . .I couldn't let her know. She really thought she was talking to a complete stranger."

"I'm rather glad she wasn't, actually. But it was a good idea with the fake name. It would have been too much of a shock, otherwise."

"I was afraid she'd figure it out."

"Oh, she did. It was the flowers," Youji explained. "You forgot about the card.

Rumi's eyes went wide, and her mouth formed a perfect, lovely O.

"Does she hate me?" she asked.

"No, no. She was mortally embarrassed, but that happens about twice a day when you're a teenager. She got over it. And she wanted me to thank you on her behalf. She made me promise to let her see you next time she's in Tokyo." 

"She's gone back to Nara?"

Youji nodded, "I talked to my grandmother's doctor and nurse. They did some more tests and didn't find anything. The recommendation is to keep a more careful eye on her. It's my fault, I've been distracted recently. I should have checked up more, paid more attention to what Emiko was saying," or rather not saying. Perhaps throwing her energies into his love live, or lack of one, was Emiko's way of coping.

"About the things my sister told you," Youji continued.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Not even Jin." Rumi said quickly.

"I'm not concerned about that." Youji assured her. "And neither is Emiko. We both trust you. It can be quite a shock to find out such things."

"Did you know?" 

"Yes, but not the details. My mother married a man she thought would love her, my father married a woman he thought he could live with. Neither of them were happy with the resulting relationship. I pieced together the general story from hints the adults dropped and things my mother used to tell me. I think because I was a boy, they didn't feel the need to protect me as much as Emiko." Youji took a breath, and asked, "Do your parents have a happy marriage?"

"I guess so," said Rumi. "They quarrel sometimes, but mostly they seem happy."

"You're very lucky."

"I guess. I never thought too much about it."

"I thought about it a lot. It seemed like all my friends' parents had these perfect marriages, and mine didn't. It wasn't the best comparison, because my parents always acted appropriately in public, or at least up until the end. There was a time that I was convinced that all relationships were as screwed up as my parents, and that most people were just better actors."

"Do you still believe that?" asked Rumi, concern showing on her face.

"No, turns out I don't make a good cynic. But it has affected the way I look at romance, the way I look at relationships. And it probably is at least partially responsible for my lack of success in either.

"I just haven't ever met anyone I could be sure about, someone I could completely trust and would trust me back . . . someone I was sure I wouldn't hurt."

"There are no guarantees in love, Youji. I found that out with Jin." Youji thought he could hear the pain through her voice.

"Do you think, if he came back, you would-"

"No." she said, anticipating the question. "You and Chiyako?"

"No."

"It's time to move on, don't you think?" she gave him a hint of a smile.

"With Hirokazu?" He needed to hear her say it.

"We've reached an understanding. It wouldn't be love, but maybe that's for the best."

"A life without love?"

"There are no absolutes with people, Youji. There was one person I was sure would never hurt me, and I was wrong. I'm not the same naïve eighth grader who fell in love with Jin. I wouldn't make that mistake with Nabishi."

"So you're certain about this?" She looked so calm, so collective.

"I can live with uncertainty, Youji." And her words were like a knife twisting in his heart.

But all he could do was nod silently. She'd thought it all out and accepted the risk. And who was he to contradict her? It was true, he wanted a relationship he could rely on absolutely and no one, not Chiyako, not even Rumi, could give him that certainty. 

There was nothing else to be said, but Rumi stood still.

"I suppose this means that Hirokazu proposed to you tonight?"

"Yes, yes he did."

Instant pain. Why could she still hurt him so? The moment stretched on, but there was nothing Youji could give her.

Rumi turned, took a step away from him. _I'll never see her like this again,_ Youji realized. Tomorrow she'll be officially engaged, then she'll be Hirokazu Rumi, and then Mrs. Hirokazu, a matriarch with several little Hirokazus in tow.

"Stop!" He cried, "Rumi stop! Don't leave."

He couldn't do it. Couldn't let her walk away, couldn't let her go through with her plan. And it wasn't because Hirokazu was a jackass, or that she deserved better, although those were perfectly good reasons.

"I love you, Rumi, " he whispered.

He was being impulsive. He was being selfish. He wasn't considering her carefully reasoned opinion, or the mess he might make of her ordered world. It didn't matter, he'd deal with the guilt later. He had to make her give him a chance, or at least give him a grain of hope. Any sign to show that he wasn't too late.

"Rumi, I love you." He took two steps forward and swung her around, lest she try to run away. "I love you! I . . ."

He probed her face for a reaction. It was there, her lips were trembling. Oh, hell, he'd already made a complete idiot of himself, nothing more to lose. He kissed her. 

And she kissed back. And at that instant, all of Youji's fears, all his worries, all his uncertainties fled. Kissing Rumi simply absorbed all his attention.

After a space of such undivided mutual attention, they came up for air and he spoke again.

"I love you, Rumi."

"I love you, Youji." The kiss should have given him a clue, but still the words shook him like live current.

"You do? You — but all those things you said, about Hirokazu proposing and you accepting-" but wait, she never told him her response. Youji glanced down at Rumi's hands, now both out of her pockets. They were entirely ringless.

"I turned him down, Youji," she said, and added, "It was an option, you know."

That called for more kissing. The one that followed was long and more laid back, giving him plenty of time to fully appreciate it.

"So, all this time, you weren't serious about Hirokazu?" he asked when their lips parted.

"No! I wasn't leading him on." She shook her head for emphasis. "I really thought I could go through with it. But then he proposed and suddenly I knew. . ."

"That you loved me?" His heart soared.

"No!" His heart sank. "I knew I loved you ages ago, you goof. I just suddenly knew that there was not way I could stand being married to Nabishi. No matter how many ground rules we set, and no matter how little we'd end up seeing each other. Even saving Jin and Rumi's relationship wasn't worth it."

That deserved another kiss, not that any old excuse wouldn't do just now. Rumi didn't seem to mind.

"You loved me ages ago?" Youji asked. "How long ago was that?"

"Since just before my accident, at the train station."

"Since . . .But I was jerk to you back then."

"I realized before you were a jerk to me." And she quickly planted another kiss on him before he could go into apology mode. Youji felt he could get used to this.

"Tell me truthfully, Youji," said Rumi as she looked steadily into his bright eyes, "When did you realize you loved me?"

"Just after I found out you'd been in the accident, when I didn't know how serious it was, when I realized I may lose you forever."

He bent in for yet another kiss, but Rumi stopped him, her finger on his lips.

"And when did you decide to confess your love to me?"

"Just now," he admitted, "when I realized I may lose you forever."

"You won't, Youji. Because I won't let you."

And then they went back to kissing.

Copyright Kim Smuga-Otto March 2001 


End file.
